Hi! I’m 25F. So basically my ex is telling people that I broke up with her because she got SAd. She’s telling people that I didn’t want to be with her because of this and that I’m angry cuz she refused me sex. This is false. Also, someone on a dating app I am on (it’s a community LGBT app) is posting my personal information and telling people all over the app false allegations that I don’t respect SA survivors, that I don’t respect trans folk, and that my ex and I broke up because she was assaulted and I didn’t respect her boundaries implying that I assaulted her. None of this is true. I have never coerced her, guilt tripped her, or forced her to be physically intimate with me ever. I’m not like that.

The reason I wanted to break up was because she wasn’t communicating with me, even from the beginning of the relationship. No validation, no reassurance, she was not putting any energy in the relationship and yes she denied me sex but I wasn’t angry at her for that because I know what she went through. She would ignore me for days and not communicate or even try. She basically only was with me to use me to have someone to talk to and do when she felt like it. Yes I have considered that it could be because of what happened but she’s actually insane. She made me feel worthless and disgusting. I tried so hard to help her and support her through all of this but she didn’t want help or support or anything from me. I doted on her, gave her everything she needed and wanted. And she stole my clothes and jewelry. I can identify because I am also an SA survivor. So I understand. But she purposely made me feel horrible and disgusting and worthless.

I understand she could be shutting down but I don’t know.. she really messed with my head. She just made me feel horrible for trying to help her. I tried to talk to her about how I was feeling but she would just put her headphones in. I did everything I could for her. It’s all so complicated. She literally told me if I ever broke up with her because of the incident she would end my life. I tried to communicate with her and everything. I did everything I could and she would just get angry and manipulative.

My best friend is genuinely believes that what happened to her didn’t actually happen and that she just said that to protect the fact that she slept with someone else. I’m just angry and confused and I don’t know what to do. Any thoughts?