I (M18), for the last 3 years have been experiencing isolation and depression after having an SA incident occur, long story short, I got blindsided by someone I called a friend, it forced me to quit school before even finishing year 10

Since then I have slowly begun to trust the world again, going to town again more oftenly and hanging out with friends I had kept after dropping out, I have applied for jobs in effort to break the chains and get back to being a changed but normal me again, I have been unsuccessful however. I assume its because of my failure to complete grade 10 and companies never bother to give feedback or reasoning as to why they don't hire people which pisses me off but I move on. I have also developed a eating disorder and gained noticeable weight, even being marked obese by medical standards.

I want to change and sometimes I start the process over and over and over again but every time I feel like something won't let me, like some voice telling me to stay how I am, but I know I have to change or I won't get far in life, I don't know what to do, I appreciate any advice you can offer