My bf (M, 26) and I(F,24) are supposed to move in together soon, but lots of issues have been building up and I am starting to feel like maybe we shouldn’t move in together or be together.

I’ve been in a relationship with my partner for about 9 years now. We were high school sweethearts that are the complete opposite but it worked in the beginning. Now that I have a career in a different state and plan to move back home where he is, things are going bad. We are having arguments because he expects me to make phone calls to places like the doctors, pharmacies, insurance companies, etc on his behalf. I wouldn’t mind doing this if he asked me to, but instead he just says: “hey, call the doctors for me tomorrow.” When I ask him to “ask instead of tell me” he says that I am being childish. I don’t think I am. It just would be nice to be asked sometimes. Additionally, we’ve gotten into fights about the aggressive way that he drives. He’s even gotten out of my car (before he had his) and made a big deal to the point that I felt like he was embarrassing both of us in front of HIS friends that he asked me to pick up. He is not an emotional type of guy either, he is more logic based. So sometimes he makes me feel like my feelings are invalid or that I am being emotional because I am a woman. Lastly, it took me 3 years to decide to move back home because I actually love my job and am scared to go back to my hometown where I don’t really have family in, but he does. He’s gotten mad at me for seeing that he has been in a tough spot living with his mother, but that I’m being selfish for not helping him out by moving in together, since it’s the best way that he will be able to afford a place.

I guess I am asking.. am I being selfish or an asshole? I love him, but we seem to be drifting apart. This is making me nervous about possibly quitting my job and moving two states away to be with him. He has helped me out tremendously by encouraging me to move away for college and staying with him during the pandemic as my own family was a triggering place for me, so I feel horrible to even have these thoughts in the first place.

What should I do?