I (20 M) asked one of my friends if she had any gay friends she could set me up with. She said “yes I do but he might still be with his boyfriend but I’ll ask.” She asked her friend if he still had a boyfriend and he said, “yes I do, why do you ask?” And she told him why. After that she dropped it because he had a boyfriend.

Fast forward a few days and she said he came into their class together (college) and asked to see a photo of me, weird right? Well she showed him my Instagram and he was just like “oh haha,” whatever.

Fast forward a few more days later and I get a dm on Instagram, from this guy. He was just trying to make small talk and apparently we used to talk back in early high school, though I don’t remember that. (At this point in time I did not know he had a bf, my friend didn’t tell me cause it wasn’t that important) And I was very dry because tbh he isn’t my type but that’s not the point. I go to work a few days later (where I know this friend from) and told her that her friend texted me. She then told me he has a boyfriend and I was like “bruh wtf I hate him,” and I then decided to screenshot and send it to the boyfriend.

I told the boyfriend the whole story and we’ve been talking for a few days now just about the whole situation and have became somewhat kind of friends through this all. But, he won’t break up with his boyfriend. They don’t see each other at all, they barely talk because of the boyfriend, and his boyfriend texted me because he has a crush on me and we talked in high school some five (?) years ago.

Another problem is, me and him are falling and catching feelings for each other, which is fine, I just need him to break up with his boyfriend. He said this is a very hard decision and has decided to stay with his man for a week until he knows if he’s trying or not. But I don’t think he should stay with him any longer not only for my selfish reasons but also because his boyfriend is a pos. But he says he loves him and this is what his heart wants to do.

So, how do I need to approach this in order to get him to leave his boyfriend for his sake. Any advice is appreciated and I’ll update when something happens.