My boyfriend (27M) and I (25F) have been fighting lately about my depression. He argues that I’m frequently overreactive and I’m not trying hard enough to improve (I’m on 4 meds that work great for me and I see a therapist weekly), while I argue that I’m at 95% remission already and its unrealistic to expect 100%.

The behaviors he takes issue with (anxiety attacks, snapping at him, crying) happen about once a week, which to me is stellar, but to him is way too frequent. He also doesn’t seem to understand when I’m sad every few nights for no reason and I just have to acknowledge it’s the disease and move thru it because that’s depression. He says this is throwing up my hands and accepting it.

I feel so misunderstood and helpless. Has anyone struggled to get their partner or friend to understand and accept their depression? Has anyone tried intensive outpatient while in remission?

I’m at 95%, but he said he needs me to be at 98-99% for the relationship to work, and for me to get more help. I’m well enough to hold down a job, have a relationship, and have hobbies already and I’m so grateful for that. I love him so much, but I’m not sure what ‘better’ looks like.