**I'm going to call him Alpha**
Alpha and I have known each other since 5th grade and it's been quite interesting. I had a major crush on him in 5th grade but he made fun of it the whole year (which I totally get). There were only two years during middle school where I didn't have a crush on him. 6th grade was one of those years I didn't like him and towards the middle of the year he helped me look for my stolen iPod at that time. 7th grade I liked him and noticed my friend give him a fake personal journal with fake entries about him. He was pretty involved with it which was kinda funny... anyways. 8th grade I was kind of put off from him and he liked this new scene girl who didn't give him the time of day. During the years from 5th grade to 8th we chatted on and off, I think we hung out once in the library and he made rude unnecessary comments.
High school was a bit different; we talked a bit more. Freshman year he asked me "out" which only lasted a few days before he broke it off for some reason. I had two boyfriends the over the next two years. We sent certain photos to each other during the summer of the first boyfriend (He wouldn't let me break up with him). At this point we've seen each other naked. We tried dating again during the break between the two boyfriends. And, again we broke up after a week or two. This time we hung out a few times during lunch and we even hugged.
Alpha then dated someone I knew (I didn't really like her which I don't know if he knew that) and they lasted until after High school graduation. She cheated on him multiple times apparently. Which I personally believe they broke up because I was thinking about moving out of state and mentioned it to him.
Fast forward to the last few years, I told him that I was going to have a free house and that he could come over if he wanted. But ghosted him when that time came because I assumed that he only wanted sex and was afraid of it. He was pretty upset about not hearing from me. He got his heart broken from a girlfriend and was briefly talking about it. Lately, he wanted to hang out and walk around my house after work and just chat. I felt like that was a bit weird and wanted to know what he wanted to chat about. He got mad at me for not wanting to hang out and I didn't know how to respond to this message. Now, he wants to hang out Sunday at his house (if I don't want sex it's okay he said). Which again I asked him what he wanted. He wants to talk in person and that he wants to hang out in person to makeup for how awful of a person that he feels towards me. But, he doesn't know what he wants most of the time. Mentions that "he only wants to do whatever I want to do, it doesn't matter what he wants, and that he wants to only do what i want and he never knew what that was. He assumed I wanted sex but I told him no that's not the case.
I'm very nervous about going to meet up with him what if he has bad intentions (my friends put that in my head) but then there's that thought on what if he's going to say he loves me (which I don't think will happen). What are your thoughts? :s I'm very lost.