Happy Memorial Day! I celebrated the holiday on Saturday night after work with some of my friends.

Now the friend who invited me, I’ve had feelings for quite a while. I’ve repressed them a bit, but I know deep down I have a fondness for her.

Back to the story though. Me, her, and one of our other friends went to two different parties that night. The first being a really chill going away sort of thing for our friend who’s going to the navy soon. We all talked, goofed off, and ate some pizza. With our spirits high, we all dispersed and got ready for the “big” party at yet another friend’s house. It was technically a bonfire more than a party but yeah!

This second party included drinking. Now like my last time drinking, I went a bit too far. In this case I went way too far. I attribute that to me recently being prescribed an antidepressant, Wellbutrin XL, said meds can make the effects of alcohol stronger for some individuals.

To speed things up, me and this girl had two or three shots of vodka along with a bottle of Smirnoff. Now she handles booze far better than I do as she drinks more frequently. I only drink once a month if not less. I really don’t remember this, but I was told by my friends and her that I confessed my love for her. I don’t know exactly what was said other than the fact that I kept calling her babe and baby. I guess I puked and blacked out after that.

I’m at a loss of what to do or say at this point. Like, I can’t deny that what I confessed is true. I really love this girl, she makes me feel so seen. She makes me feel like a man. She’s funny, intelligent, a hard worker, and so much more. But at the same time, I wish I had been sober when admitting this stuff. She doesn’t seem bothered by it at all, especially when we were talking about it. We’ve had an…interesting dynamic between each other for a while now. Not dating or anything, but we talk to each other like no one else does. I always try my best to encourage her and to make her see how great she does. She does the same for me.

TLDR; I told the love of my life how I truly feel about her.