Here's my story. It was an unseasonably cold early morning in June of 2022 my mother and I (M 33) were walking home after parking our car 2 blocks away. We had almost reached our property when a young girl (she was 25 at the time, she's 26 now) had approached us asking us for change. She told us that she needed to change to dry some clothes at a laundromat at some apartments nearby. We made some small talk, rather, my mom did most of the talking with her. I learned that she had lived nearby (just around the corner) but unfortunately was kicked out by her family due to an addiction to drugs and really needed to change for the dryer to keep her warm at the small on-site laundromat at some apartments where she was sleeping.

long sigh We had agreed to meet her the next day but it turned out to be next week --she had given us her ph# but we soon found out that she has a TextNow number meaning it was a WiFi phone. [I'm going to name her: Miss Voiture, because her initials is the English equivalent] So, when my mother and I did manage to make contact with Miss Voiture we hung out at first in my mom's car. Then in the second and subsequent meetings we talked about our lives and she talked about her as well. I noticed that she would pass around my house more often, probably wanting to chat or grab a bite to eat --it probably irritated my mom-- I liked it because I started to fall in love with Miss Voiture.

One day in December, she popped her head in and leaned on my passenger side window sill, and we did a little bit of small talk and then she said needed to charge her dead phone. I had battery banks but they were all spent up. I did let her charge via car lighter for a little while, because I had to accompany my mother for an appointment she had to go to. On another day the 2-3 weeks later in January she needed to wifi hotspot access regrettably I had used all of data the night before, to text "a friend". That friend lived on the south side of the town I live in and I found out is a guy. He lives on the street that has been known for criminal activity since the '70s, even my mother knew about it (I didn't know it had such a long history). That guy friend let Miss Voiture stay over for a few nights this past winter and when she wasn't, she was at the on-site laundry right behind my house.

Also, earlier during our conversations, she stated that she had broken up with her ex-boyfriend because he was doing "mind games" with her. I felt bad for her. Miss Voiture wanted to go to the local rehab center but her ex was "kicking it" within a few blocks away. She knew he had another gf. Miss Voiture did say she was going to the rehab the last few times we had meetup at the end of our conversations but every time we met up she said that it was "hard", she would only stay in for a few days.

In the middle of February. . .it was a cold and blustery windy evening. I saw Miss Voiture standing next to the corner of my detached garage with her back against the wind. . .her petite frame was shivering ( that image is forever burned in my mind😓). I had compassion for her, I wanted to give her my jacket off of my back but my mom gave me "the evil eye" while Miss Voiture had turned to glance down the street–my mom told me that we had to give her an excuse to go out with her (this was exactly 2 hours before we confronted her).

Sometime in February, I had learned that Miss Voiture had a rap sheet with a few offenses that I considered minor. My mother on the other hand said that we shouldn't be around her, after learning of one of the offenses. For me, nothing changed, I still had and to this very day have deep feelings for her. . ..So, when my mom told me to give Miss Voiture the cold shoulder back in the middle of February, I felt horrible, frustrated, angry and utter disgust with myself because I had to "obey" my mom (I'm shaking right now as I type this). After that evening, my feelings only grew stronger for Miss Voiture. Unfortunately, this was going to be one last time I was going to see her near my house.😣

When I managed to receive a text message from her, I decided to her send via text screenshot the crush letter --I wanted to tell her of my affection towards her in person. On one of our outings, Miss Voiture teased that I had a crush on her. When she left the table, my mom told me "Larry, do NOT have a crush on her!"–it was too late. I was already head over heels.

So originally that letter was a small note, only a paragraph long, but over the course of time, it turned into a 2 page crush letter. When I gave it to her via text, what ensued for the next couple days, I didn't see her nor received a text. Until, on a Sunday in March while I was walking to church, I saw her from a few yards away. She had accidentally dropped some items from a small push cart and wasn't aware of my presence. I waited for her gaze to be upon me, then I said hello and waved. She mentioned out loud that she's "was staying in her sister's house" then I nodded and waved again and I was off to mass. During the midday break, I texted her to see if received mail @ her sister's because I wanted to surprise her with a gift for her birthday. I bought her chocolates via Amazon. When she received it, she messaged: "Hello I received the birthday gift. I appreciate it. Thank you both may God may bless you 😇", that was dated March 23rd.

A week passed by. . .. No response. Then, because I don't have any friends to get advice from and I don't trust my mom for this really sensitive subject; she has a bit of an attitude like the mom from "The WaterBoy". I thought I might have made "a mistake" or "jumped the gun" with my letter so I decided to send Miss Voiture a text apologizing for the letter. (I proofread it so many times, I even used AI for a better idea). Here's the text message:

"[Miss Voiture], I'm sorry. I have come to understand that I overstepped your boundaries, and for that, I am truly sorry. I must focus on being a better supportive friend. I apologize for putting you through any discomfort or pressure that I caused with that letter. I am deeply sorry for what I did. Will you please forgive me?"

Miss Voiture hasn't texted me. This past Wednesday the 12th of April around 1:30pm, I saw her walk out of a building, she was wearing a lovely white blouse with flowers and some jeans, our eyes locked but only for a few seconds, then she turned & walked away towards the main street. I still haven't received a response. I've looked for her all around town but to no avail. My eyes welled up with tears, I still have love flushes thinking about her all the more as I type this description of my actions these past months, I still am looking for her cute little frame where I last saw her. I even pass by her sister's house by either walking or by car. I crave to hear her voice again.

I noticed lately wherever I go, be it the bank, the gas station, or any store, the music resounding with love songs gives me a hard time throughout the day. My food & drinks taste strange. I can't even look at the spot where she was standing that cold and blustery evening by the garage, back in February😓. I don't want her to fade away from my life. I'm trying to suppress the pain. I feel like I'm going insane!

So. I need any comments/help/advice would be greatly appreciated.

I feel like a dog. . .anxiously and eagerly waiting for its master to come back.