UPDATE BELOW:

Okay so maybe a dramatic title but:

We’ve been together for almost 2 years (in June).

My partner (M22) is graduating this year (Yay!) and I (F23) really wanted to be there for him. He goes to school in Texas and I’m in California. We originally booked the flight for may 2nd - may 7th. But last week he told me that his finals would end early and he wanted me to come so I was like okay and rebooked my flight to April 28th- may 7th. This cost me around 150 to change but it was fine. Then two days after that he says that he now has plans during that time and that he would be very busy. Which to me I’m like what does that mean? Like are WE gonna be busy? Or just YOU?

Anyway he suggest I change my flight AGAIN to April 30th and I agree! Luckily the change was only a 10 fee, but still. So after all that switching everything seemed fine. The Airbnb, the car, and the flights were booked, which costs near $2500.

But today as we’re talking he says “I have something to tell you”. He then says that on the day that I arrive April 30th, he has a birthday party to go to. He said that he asked if he could bring a plus one and they said no. WHICH IS FINE!! I don’t know his friends so I’m not sad or hurt by them wanting to have an intimate party. But after he said that he said, “sooo, imma go to the party. But I don’t know what you will do.”

This is where I was like…what? My heart just felt funny after he said this.

Mind you: I’ve never been to Austin or his apartment and on the day that I arrive he’s planning on leaving me in his apartment by myself? He said he would leave early, but that’s not the same thing as stopping by to say hi and then returning.

He then asks “how do you feel About it” and I told him that I that’s his choice not mine. But am I overreacting in my head? I haven’t said anything but wow!! Like I didn’t expect him to say that? I’ve told him before that I don’t feel like a priority sometimes with him and his friends. But I mean he is graduating and may not see them Again?? So then I get it??? But damn I’m Like flying all this way!! And like you could hang out with them before?? Idk is that selfish?

I just…like his friends get him all year all semester. We’re even LDR when he comes back home from school. So I really don’t see him at all. Is it wrong for me to feel hurt by this? Especially bc I don’t come from money, and I’m working extra shifts just to afford all of this. I don’t feel like he knows how much I’m spending to even be able to go?

Help please? Also I’m sleepy so I know this is a hard thing to read I apologize!

UPDATTTEEEEE:

okay, so we talked about a lot of things. I laid down my boundaries regarding trips and told him that I expect to be together the whole time unless an emergency or a previously planned event. I then explained how hurt I felt and how I didn't feel important. I also explained how I didn't want him to have to choose between his friends and me. I purposed that I would just come another day. at this, he got really sad and said that he didn't think about all of this. He said that he didn't mean to hurt me and that I am "more important than seeing his friends." he said that he still wanted me to come because "our relationship is more important and it's necessary that we spend as much time together".

I believe him. I know a lot of y'all were like dump him, he's trash or cheating. Although I appreciate the ride-or-die nature of Reddit <3, I know my bf isn't like that. He is just a big goldfish who may not think things through. But he always listens and he always validates and he always makes it better. I can appreciate that. THANKS FOR ALL Y'ALLS HELP!!!