I’ve been living in the city of my dreams for 5 years, in a big beautiful home with a bunch of mostly-great people. This is the first time in my life I’ve ever felt relatively stable, and like I won’t get forced out by circumstance for the next 5 years. That’s more than I ever planned to survive, so I am still way ahead of expectation.

This lifestyle is a lot of work, though. I spend almost every weekend cleaning the house. I wfh and never leave, keeping the bills paid with so many people is herding cats and I’m so tired. It’s like I’m married to this fucking house. I got a promotion recently, at which I’m barely keeping up, and I’ve got the intimacy profile of that woman who married the Berlin Wall.

An opportunity to move closer to work, in with a couple I know, arose suddenly. I do casually sleep with one of them, which complicates the situation, but we’re all fairly experienced nonmonogamists. I have a pretty good grasp on my boundaries here, especially because, at my current place, people treat me like their spouse half the time anyway. I could be getting laid for this emotional work, dammit. I surprised myself by saying yes to the idea and fully committing to the decision.

Deep down, I am ambivalent, though; it’s far from a done deal. I generally think it will at least be a lateral move for me, and the change would be good. It’s in an interesting location I never would have expected to land, and there is an adventure to be had. But I would give up a lot if it’s not the right choice. I cannot stop thinking about how much I love my current life, and I’m scared it will go to shit again if I shift the gravity so much .

I’m just so used to material circumstances forcing me out of wherever I’m living etc. But this is the first time I would make the decision for myself, and it’s fuckin weird. Idk, thoughts?

PS I grew up in one of them “dysfunctional homes”