ive been self harming on and off since i was thirteen im twenty two now, its always been superficial cuts so its never been a massive issue but i feel so much guilt for this habit especially as ive gotten older its been triggered by fights with my partner, i mostly self harm after fights because i feel so much shame and anger at myself, i thought when i was younger it wouldnt last this long that I'd outgrow my mental illness' but i know now that that was immature of me but i dont think i ever will 'recover' i think ill always be like this.

i dont know why i havent ever cut deeper ive overdosed a couple times too but only enough to go into the hospital for them to send me home after a couple tests, it sort of does feel like a cry for help but no one ever helps me i dont know what i want i wish i wasnt like this everything so hard i never wanted to be an adult