I cut deep, every time. Though I’m 100 days clean right now, the urges are coming back strong. My two favorite parts of cutting are watching the blood flow and looking at the literal layers of skin I’ve sliced open. Lately I’ve found that slicing through multiple layers of random stuff with my knife both satisfies the craving and ignites that desire to cut. But I love it. I love watching the layers unfold, just like I love staring into my gaping wound. The parallels are undeniable, and I find it both soothing and triggering at the same time.

There’s really no point to this post, I just wanted to say it to someone who might understand.