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I relapsed. I don't feel anything.
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It's back. I did it. I'm empty. Hollow. Selfish. I don't feel guilty. I don't feel anything. I look outside, I see the world that I once cared about and I feel no desire to change. I'm too calm. I want to be freaked out by it, but no. I feel like my whole life is 'one step forward - two steps back'. No professional ever helped me. I wanted to change and worked really hard, but it was never enough and so I'm starting to feel like I should stop blaming it on a bad luck and accept that I am the problem. That I can't be helped. What do I do?

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1 month ago