I don't know why I keep looking, but I do. I love ANR/ ABF so much. In December I was able to connect with someone for multiple sessions over a short period of time. It reignited a fire that never went out. I wont accept another relationship without it. I moved for the last one, turned my life upside down and moved to another country. And in the end their interest in ANR was a passing fancy. Among other things, I just couldn't do it. I am back home again now.
I know no one is near me. I have looked for 20 years. Its a small town that I didn't want to come back to. There is nothing here to draw people here. No good jobs, unless you work remotely, I know no one is moving here. But I cant start over again and again and again for this thing.
But I need it like I need my next breath. I think about nursing all day long. I get excited each time someone new says hello even though the chances of it being a match is like 0.001% I dream of nursing. Of sharing a life where I have a consistent partner who is always looking for private moments to cuddle together and nurse. I love to be affectionate and touch. Holding hands, or sitting close together. Rubbing an arm, anything small when we cant be in bed pressed together sharing this intimate connection.
Sigh
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