As anounced, this subreddit is going private as per 1 September 2024, and the required standards for [M4F] posts will drastically increase.

To give the men in this community an opportunity to prepare for this change, I am hereby releasing what I intend to make the acceptance criteria and admission policy for the privated subreddit.

To the men: simply dhaving a personal ad in this subreddit currently does not give you pre-approval for the privated sub. If you wish, you may ask me to review your personal ad under the rules presented here. If you pass, you will receive a special "✓ Pre-approved for Private" flair and you will be automatically given entry to the privated sub with your personal ad.

Rules for F, F2M/M2F (trans) and N (non-binary) will follow in the near future.

This is the first / preliminary iteration. If you feel this policy is unreasonable or going too far then I am open to fair and substantiated criticism, and am also absolutely willing to make adjustments based on such feedback. However, general whining about the standards going up will not be taken particularly seriously.

F4M and F4A women especially, your feedback matters double here! If you wish to give it to me privately (PM or DM) rather than a public comment here below then feel free to reach out.

Introduction

The online ANR/ABF space on reddit is unfortunately one in which for every good and sane male user that shows up, at least ten times as many immature or pervy creeps and weirdos do as well. This leads to women quickly feeling unsafe or disgusted, and also leaves the good men frustrated over being dragged down with the bad men. We at the ANR partner search subreddit r/AdultNursingPersonals believe things don't have to be this way, and aim to build a trusted and guarded space for mature, committed and like-minded seekers of adult nursing relationships (ANR) or adult breastfeeding (ABF) encounters. Hopefully, this will also be one in which the ratio between male and female users is more balanced.

For there to be any hope of achieving this, some kind of barrier to entry against low quality men is inevitable. We cannot have creeps, weirdos or low-effort males joining our space, ruining it like the other places they do.

Therefore, for you as a man to join our community, you must first demonstrate that you are a good fit and not a weirdo, pervert, creep or of poor character by sending in your personal ad for review and approval by us first. You will only be allowed to post, or even see the subreddit's contents, once you have been approved to join.

Your post must demonstrate tangible effort in trying to tell us and the women in our community who you are, and must show that you're not just here to satisfy a selfish physical urge but are seeking to do right by the women in our space by also considering the emotional bonding aspect of ANR/ABF.

If this sounds too scary or not worth it to you, then perhaps indeed our page is not for you. In that case, we wish you the best of luck in your search on the other established ANR partner search subreddits.

If, however, if you are prepared to take your commitment to the search for an ANR partner to the next level and want to join our community, then continue reading to learn the procedure.

Basic procedure

To join the r/AdultNursingPersonals ANR partner search subreddit as a man, you must submit the personal ad that you wish to post on our page to modmail for review first. We will evaluate the quality and content of your writing, along with a review of your previous reddit activity in order to determine if you are a good fit for this subreddit. The standards by which we evaluate your post and previous reddit activity are detailed in this wiki page.

Once you send in your submission, one of three things can happen:

1. We determine that you are a good fit for our page, so we will approve your request to join the subreddit and you will be given 48 hours to place your post ass approved by us (so basically unaltered) in the subreddit. NOTE: posting a personal ad is mandatory for male users. Male users are not permitted to only lurk.

2. We turn down your submission, but it is clear to us that you did put in an appropriate amount of effort, or that there is at least potential here, so then we will get back to you and tell you what you need to fix.

3. We turn down your submission and do not get back to you. If this happens, it is probably because we did not deem your submission serious enough and worthy of a proper response, or you seem to have missed what this subreddit is fundamentally about. If you keep spamming us with low-effort submissions we may choose to simply block you.

Reddit account history check

We will check your public reddit account history for red flags or unacceptable behaviour. If we do find these things, we may either ask you to remove specific activity, or we might require that you join us under a completely new and clean reddit account.

The following things are unnacceptable at any time:

• Photos or videos of your (or any) penis

• Posts of nudity or pornographic material, even if you are not the subject, to NSFW subreddits

• Sharing or crossposting pornographic materials to your own page

• Having personal ads in an excessively large number of R4R subreddits unrelated to ANR/ABF

• Violence, crime, or the promotion of these things

Engaging in NSFW or porn subreddits by itself need not be an dealbreaker, as long as your comments are civil and written in at least somewhat good taste. We may, however, ask you to delete particularly problematic posts or comments.

If instead we see an account that has basically clean if albeit minimal activity, or even better (and women will likely agree with this) an active account that has acquired karma from engaging in non-porn related subreddits, then we consider that a green flag, and will lead you to passing this check fairly easily.

Personal ad guidelines

1. Title

Your title must start with your age, then your gender tag [M4x], then your location. You may then give a short description (within 20 words).

Location info

If you are in the United States: for your location please include the nearest major town or your county you are located in, and your state either fully written out or using the standard two letter abbreviations; members searching will probably search by your state. Please refrain from using acronyms or abbreviations such as "DMV/NoVa" or "SoCal". You are allowed to use multiple cities if they are close enough to form a conurbation, such as Dallas–Fort Worth.

Examples:

• 42 [M4F] Phoenix AZ (rest of the title)

• 27 [M4F] Warren County VA (Virginia) (rest of the title)

• 38 [M4F] New York City / Tri-State area (rest of the title)

If you are located outside the United States: please include your country and the nearest major town. Your province, region, oblast, département, bundesland, state, etc. may also be helpful. Two letter country codes* are allowed.

Examples:

• 34 [M4F] Hanover DE (rest of the title)

• 41 [M4F] Limerick, Ireland (rest of the title)

• 22 [M4F] Vancouver BC Canada (rest of the title)

*) For United Kingdom, please use 'GB' and not 'UK'. For Ukraine, please use 'UA'.

2. Basic writing quality

Write your submission in proper English like an adult. Use full sentences. Employ correct grammar. Write words fully. Use punctuation and proper case. Use correct, standard spelling.

You are allowed to write your post in a language other than English, but if you do, you must always include an English translation. This translation must be properly written as described above, and must comply with the rest of the rules here.

3. Structure

Maintain structure throughout your post using discernable, self-contained paragraphs. Using meaningful and informative headings is a big plus. Do not write a wall of text.

Your post must contain clear 'About me' and 'About you' sections.

4. Length

Your submission must be at least 600 words long. This will be checked using a popular text editor.

5. Relevance and focus

Though you will definitely need to think about what you write, this subreddit is not a creative writing outlet. It is not a place for writing poems, prose, short stories or novels – not that there is literally anything wrong with any of these activities, but it is not what this subreddit is about. You may of course link to something you wrote in your post, and you are even encouraged to use language creatively where you can to dress up your post and set the tone. However, the point is to tell us and a prospecting ANR partner who you are.

6. Tone and forbidden words

This is not a porn subreddit. The women visiting this subreddit are normal real-life women, many of whom are probably just starting to explore this niche out of curiosity. Just like other normal real-life women, they do not take well to men being selfish, vulgar and disgusting, but prefer men who are mature and considerate, men who approach women as full human beings with feelings and not just as a 'pair of'. Also, more often than not, women are here precisely to get away from the thirsty anonymous male weirdos who are unable to separate porn from real life.

Considering this context, maintain a high and tasteful standard of writing in your post that conveys class, subtlety, maturity and dignity. This means, among other things:

• No gross, thirsty, or oversexualized language.

• No profanities or cursing. Words like 'fuck', 'shit' and 'cunt' are forbidden.

• No unflattering acronyms to describe women (e.g. 'MILF' or 'BBW')

• If you must mention them, you may refer to them as 'breasts', 'bosoms' or 'boobs' if you can do it with a degree of subtlety. 'Tits' or 'titties' is never allowed, and if we ever read you refer to them as 'melons', 'udders' or 'teats' - even ironically(!) - we will stop reading the rest of your submission and not bother getting back to you.

• No using the word 'milk' as a verb ('milking' someone) with regards to your ANR partner.

• 'Nipples', not "nips".

• No referring to a well-endowed woman as "busty".

• No forwardly "asking" if anyone needs their [...] [...]ed. They don't. The women here are looking for a connection, they are not sex-crazed nymphs desperate for male sexual attention.

• No writing in detail about how horny you are or how horny the thought of X or being around Y makes you. Got a hold of yourself, keep it together, and stay focused.

• No discussing genitalia. Also, no discussing the bodily fluids associated with genitalia, or the act of them being ejected from the (your) body.

• No indirectly alluding to your male appendage through adjectives such as 'hung' or 'hard'.

• Do not include colorful descriptions of the type of breasts you want your ANR partner to have. No 'saggy', 'massive', 'perky', 'huge', 'veiny', 'milk-filled', etc.

7. Humility

Do not be conceited. Avoid telling us what our opinion of you should be ("I'm one of the nicest guys you've ever met"). Rather let the facts speak for themselves and leave our opinion of you up to us.

Do not pretend or insist that you are somehow better than the other men here or that you are somehow the only one worth approaching, because - and I say this as someone who's been moderating an ANR partner search subreddit for four years - spoiler: you're probably not. Do not profess to be "unlike anyone you've ever met", when you don't even know who is reading your post or who she's met; for all you know, you're actually no different from the rest of all the men she's ever met.

8. Required contents

8A. "About me" and "About you" sections

Part of the point of your submission is to communicate to a passing reader who you are and what you are looking for.

Therefore, your post should consist of at least an "About me" section/paragraph. You are also encouraged to incude an "About you" section in which you discuss your preferences for your potential partner. There is no particular location or order you are required to put these in, but they should be easy to find by scrolling.

In the "About me" section, you must address at least the following questions:

• What kind of person are you? Describe your personality, or go with how people have described you in the past.

• What is your current relationship status?

• What do you do in everyday life? What (in qualitative terms) is your job or career in? What kind of education background do you have?

• What are interests or things you enjoy outside of ANR/ABF?

• What are you looking for in terms of a relationship? Are you looking for something long term, or are you at least open to it? Or are you looking for something strictly casual?

• Do you take regular drugs? Are there any medical conditions that are worth knowing about before getting to know you? If there aren't you may simply use the acronym 'DDF' (Drug and Disease Free).

• Do you smoke (be honest)?

• What is your housing situation? Are you able to host (receive someone in your home)?

• What are things or activities in the realm of romantic or sexual relationships that are definitely off-limits for you?

In the "About you" section, you are generally free to specify whatever preferences you have, so long as they somewhat fair and made in proper taste. Things you may wish to include could be:

• Preferred relationship status;

• Age range / limit;

• Attitude; what would you like her to be open to?

You may of course also state preferences with regards to body or appearance if you have them and if you are able to phrase it in a delicate and mature manner, but accept that doing this risks limiting your own opportunity.

8B. You must specifically mention ANR or ABF

The members of this group are in it because they are seeking someone in a specific niche. You must specifically mention adult nursing or adult breastfeeding in your post and that it is what you are looking for. It is not sufficient for you just to say that you like breasts or want to suck(le) them, or to merely allude to or imply ANR/ABF indirectly through other terms.

Also, do not conflate ANR/ABF with general breast play, because ANR/ABF is not simply general breast play. If you don't know the difference or - God forbid - that there even is a difference, then you should spend some more time lurking on the more serious ANR/ABF discussion pages to learn more, then come back.

8C. Go beyond the physical

No one here is questioning that you enjoy the physical side of ANR/ABF or even that you're likely here in no small part because of it. However, what many women do question when reading many posts written by men in this space is whether the men care much about any kind of connection beyond that. This is one of the many longstanding frustrations expressed by women in this space, because to them this is perhaps the most important part of an ANR or ABF encounter.

Therefore, be better about this. Do not overlook the emotional connection aspect of ANR/ABF, show at least some awareness or recognition of this side of it. If we find your post lacking in this regard, we may reject it.

8D. Care about her wants and needs too, and show that you do

If your post is only focused on what you want from you ANR partner – 'I am looking for someone who will do this for me' – without offering any concern or even recognition of what her wants and needs might be from you, then that signals to us that there is still some growing up that you need to do, and we will likely reject your post for it.

8E. Do not offer or promise compensation or advances. No buying or selling.

Do not offer women (financial) compensation or advances for an ANR or ABF encounter. This includes offering compensation for traveling to you; you may offer to travel to her location. Things you may not offer or promise include (but are not limited to):

• Direct or indirect cash (rent reduction, discounts, etc.)

• Airfare, travel compensation, hotels ...

• Gifts or discounts

• Meals

• Paid trips or vacations

• In-kind favours

• Business or networking opportunities

• Business of any kind (including OF subscriptions or anything similar)

Do not use the term 'wet nurse' (noun) as this refers to someone offering an ANR or ABF as a paid service.

8F. Do not include fetishes or kinks that are not strictly ANR/ABF

To use a cliché: the world is a rich tapestry. We know that there are many among you who enjoy less conventional or perhaps even deviant or taboo forms of sexual or romantic relationships, or ones that have a particular narrow theme or focus. As someone who has moderated an ANR partner search sub for over four years, I have noticed that many of you who are enjoyers of one of these 'kinks' or 'fetishes' also tend to be an enjoyer of (many) others.

However, I have also had women come forward telling me that this not only is rarely the case for them, they are more often than not actually actively put off by reading references to kinks or fetishes not strictly ANR/ABF and discouraged from persevering in their search if they encounter them too often.

No one is here to judge you or shame you for it if you are into certain kinks or fetishes. However, in order to secure the success of this subreddit, we must unfortunately disallow references to those that most normal women would find off-putting. These include, but are not limited to:

• Impregnation

• Hucow

• Breeding / fertility

• Age play (infantilism)

• Femdom

• Mommy dom/sub dynamic (do not say you are 'looking for a mommy')

• Cuckolding

• Bondage, BDSM

If you include a fetish that isn't on this list yet, then that does not necessarily mean it is still okay. It is always up to us moderators' discretion if we decide that it is not allowed. Try to apply common sense here.

Also, this is not to say that you may never bring these things up in private conversation. This rule applies for just your post in the subreddit itself.

8G. Photos

Tasteful photos are allowed. You may not be fully nude in them or show your penis at all. You are encouraged to show in the photo itself somehow (e.g. by holding a handwritten piece of paper) that the photo was made specifically for r/AdultNursingPersonals.

Behaviour inside

By submitting a request to join our subreddit, you also agree to abide by its rules of engagement. For men, these are as follows:

• Do not send unsolicited d*ck picks, even in already established conversations. If reported for this, this will result in an immediate ban.

• Do not message women out of the blue. Always ask consent to DM a woman first publicly by means of a comment under her post.

• Do not overwhelm women's inboxes with low effort, low quality or overbearing messages or message requests. Depending on how severely you break this rule, you will receive a warning, suspension, or permanent ban.

• Only reach out to female OPs if you are reasonably certain that you meet all her stated criteria (e.g. on gender, location, etc.). If you knowingly and blatantly disregard an OP's clear requirements and message her anyway, you will receive a 1 month suspension the first offense, and a permanent ban for the second.

• Once someone has clearly expressed to you that they're not interested in any further contact with you, accept it. Do not continue badgering or harassing someone after they've clearly expressed they're not interested in you. If reported, this will result in a suspension or ban.

• If you are a man who posed as a woman to gain entry to the subreddit by evading the admission requirements, and you start messaging women once inside, you will be immediately banned when reported. You will be given no option to appeal.

• You may not freely re-upload your post whenever you wish. You may make trivial edits such as grammar or spelling corrections, but you must report summaries of your edits at the bottom of your post each time by saying "EDIT: [...]", for instance "EDIT: grammar". If your situation has substantially changed (e.g. you moved to another city or state, or your relationship status has changed), then you may rewrite and reupload your post after seeking re-approval from the moderators.

• Male lurkers are not allowed. This means that, once posted, you may not freely delete your post. If we notice or have received a report that you as a male user have no post in the subreddit, you will be given 24 hours to repost it. If you do not comply, you will be banned, though you may appeal the ban and we will give you another 24 hours to repost if you promise to follow up this time. Failure to comply a second time will leave the ban permanent.