I’ve fantasised about lactating for over a decade - had two kids but formula fed them both for personal reasons. Both times my milk “came in” but post partum it didn’t have the same appeal, I was hormonal and sore and I let it dry up.

Fast forward to the present day and I’ve been fantasising a lot, and went as far as to purchase wearable electric pumps. It feels INCREDIBLE. Much fun has been had on my own experimenting with modes and intensity. I also bought domperidone online but had put off taking it because my boyfriend didn’t know about my fantasies and I wasn’t sure how he would take it. I didn’t want to “waste” the dom by taking it when I couldn’t pump routinely.

I was charging the motors from my pumps the other day and boyfriend found them. He questioned it right away asking why I had them and I just said I had been curious and since I enjoy having my boobs sucked it seemed like a fun thing to try. He was on board with this and asked if we could try it together - I was a bit shy about as he hasn’t seen the actual base of the pumps and I’m worried he will see them and it won’t be very sexy.

I waited till he went to work and put the pumps on and took some “after” photos - the pumps have been making my boobs bigger and more “pillowy”, and it of course gives you some fat juicy nips just after! He loved the look and when he came home he “played” with them as he calls it (basically nursing but less committed).

Since I know he knows the pumps are there I have started the dom - currently on day two. I still don’t know how he feels about actual milk coming in but I feel like I’m yearning for it to happen. Whenever I hint at the subject he doesn’t really commit either way, and twice now he has asked me to use the pump before he comes home - which makes me think he wouldn’t want to see it in action.

I know I’m never going to get milk in this quickly, but is the bigger cushiony boobs and thick nipples a good sign? Uncertain how to approach the subject with my boyfriend since he’s not shown any direct willingness.

At the moment I pump on my way to work at 8am, on my lunch break at noon, on my way home at 3-4pm, then I try sneak in a pump in secret or encourage him to play with them around 7-8pm. Then pump when he’s in bed. He’s working nights the next few nights so I’m planning to put a night pump in to move things along but can’t do this once he’s back to working days.

Am I going to struggle?