I've wavered on and off about the idea of adoption instead of having my own child - for a multitude of reasons adoption seems much better than adding another child to this world. My fiancé and I have discussed adoption - but again there is no rush since I need to finish school and research a little more before we being pushing more. So while I'm getting through school and doing my research I though I'd follow this reddit and get the inside feelings of adoptee and adopters - and I've seen a common theme: "Finding my biological parent"

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I was curious from adoptee and adopters how often this comes up? How much strain does it cause between the adopter parents and the BP? Do all adoptees need/want to go find their BP - Do they stop when they learn their BP just simply didn't want a child? I'm very curious on how both sides feel when it comes to adoption and BP?

*I'm a stop-mother now, which is fine - But I was hoping with adoption I would get the satisfaction of having our own family and child, not having to share it yet again with the biological parent.

** YES I UNDERSTAND IT IS THEIR RIGHT AND THEY WANT TO KNOW THEIR BIRTH GIVERS - I'm just curious if all feel this way. Is adoption right for us, since I and sensitive about a "shared family". Maybe adoption isn't the best option.

Any opinions on your experiences or someone you know would be greatly apricated. Thank you for your time <3

EDIT: I've noticed a lot of people think I am trying to say I wouldn't go open. That's not what I'm trying to say, I would never not allow my adopted child (in the scenario) a chance to meet their BPs - that's awful. What I'm worried about is where we have an adopted child and they meet their BP - then we deal with the complications of raising a child, that won't respect our wished because they have contact with their BP's and would rather listen to their advice and wishes then our own. Causing a separation between our adopted family and their biological one (that lost them). I'm afraid of another co-parenting relationship within my family - it's too stressful and not something I'm interested in going through again.

EDIT: Thank you to everyone who took the time to read and give thoughtful and detailed feedback. Though we weren't looking to adopt for a long time, it may not seem like the right path for us to go about. Thank you again for all the comments, I'm still reading them all! 💕