I have done fostering for a few years now and also have my own adopted children as a single parent. They were already relinquished when we were matched I didn’t foster them during reunification process. They are both bio siblings from same mom and father. This week my caseworker reached out to inform me that bio mom had another baby (very recently only weeks ago) and cps has since been involved. Case worker also claims bio mom wishes to relinquish this baby rather than go through reunification and would like baby to be placed with siblings. I of course have requested time to process and think through the decision.

Honestly the thought of taking in an infant terrifies me. It’s not like I have never cared for a baby before I use to watch my 4 month old nephew everyday for 12 hours. But fostering or even adopting is obviously much different. My kids were already 4 and 5 when they came here. I have a 3 bed apartment both my son and daughter have their own room so space and finances is not an issue. They are now 6 and 7 though and we have a whole routine and lifestyle established. I’m also worried how adding a new baby would effect them. We would be unable to do a lot of the things we do like weekend outings and bigger kid activities for a while. Someone would have to give up their own room and start sharing. And the baby would require a lot of my attention. And the general shift from a 3 person family to a 4. That’s a lot of change for a young adoptee/former foster kid to adapt to all at once.

On the flip side of it I really don’t want to separate bio siblings. I know they haven’t grew up together or even met so they don’t have an established connection but that’s still their family. They have lost so much already and until they are able to if at all (bio mama doesn’t want contact as of right now) have a connection with bio family this is all they have connecting them to their roots.

It’s not that I’m against welcoming another child to our family but more so I never planned on having a baby and am scared of caring for one on my own plus two kids. Also concerned how my children would be effect by it.