Hi there. I’ve posted on this sub a few months ago when I (19 F) was only 10 weeks pregnant and debating whether I wanted to go through with adoption or termination. I ended up deciding on an accredited agency in Fort Worth, Texas and had my little boy in early June. I presented my dad with the profiles and shared which one was our favorite only to find out that we chose the exact same family; a sweet, gorgeous mom and wicked bright father with a little 8 year old son. Meeting them was a dream and everything started to feel more comfortable and sturdier. I felt so safe after that meeting because they were for sure the one. We didn’t talk much until closer to my delivery and me and the mom corresponded almost daily. She sent me pictures of his crib and clothes and I sent her ultrasound pictures and updates. This was the start of a truly beautiful relationship. She even let me pick his name.

I delivered on the 6th and the adoptive family came down a day after I delivered. She brought me tons of gifts and seeing her with my son was amazing. He was pretty fussy on his second day of life but immediately calmed down in her arms. It very quickly started to set in that this is the real deal and I won’t see him much after this. After a completely sleepless 24 hours with cluster feeding, I had a bit of a breakdown and grabbed everything that smelled like him; blankets, hats, socks, even digging through the trash to find dirty blankets and onesies. I asked if she could meet me alone at the hospital to discuss exactly what our relationship would look like (I assured her on the phone that I wasn’t backing out and to not worry lol) and we had an extremely emotional conversation. We both cried and connected, and I’ll never forget how close I felt to her afterwards. She gave me a necklace with his name on it in Hebrew that I wear every single day. Signing the paperwork was the most gut wrenching experience. There isn’t a good enough warning for the harshness of the legal paperwork, which I understand, but it does make the paperwork signing process so much more heartbreaking. His mom asked if we could pray together and we did, tearfully, and then I left the hospital before them. My family, boyfriend, and professor group cried with me like Midsommar. It was so comforting but painful at the same time.

It’s now a little over a month since I delivered and his mom and I remain close friends. We text daily and I get to see him every single day through pictures and videos. I got to see just how enormous his family is and I know he’s being well adored in his new home. We agreed to two annual meetings on his birthday and my birthday. His mother and I text regularly too and she always tells me how happy I made them and how grateful she is for me and my strength. Her kind words have gotten me out of a few episodes of postpartum.

I hope I’m not selling a fantasy by sharing my experience. Even my coordinator has told me how unusual our relationship is. Almost no adoptive family lets the birth mother choose the child’s name let alone have the patience and time to text every day. I try not to invade their space and privacy so I let her text first usually and she seems to really enjoy updating me. I could not be happier with the family I chose and I’m extremely excited to watch this beautifully weird relationship blossom.