When I was 23, I was at my cousins wedding and my aunt got pretty drunk and mentioned how it was so nice that I was able to procreate or something weird like that. FYI I just became a father at the time. Anyways I questioned what she meant and she said “oh well atleast you didn’t have to adopt. I know it was hard on your parents” and I’m like “what do you mean” and she’s like “wait you know you’re adopted right?” And at that moment I was pretty shocked but also had to hold it together because I didn’t want her to feel terrible for being the one that spillled the beans to me, so I responded “oh yeah of course I knew that” and then I walked away to the bathroom and had a weird moment. Anyways I called my parents out into the lobby of the banquet and confronted them about it. My mom was hysterical and denying it at the same time (which I clearly knew she was lying) and my dad was kinda being a dick. Eventually I got annoyed and left the wedding.

A week later I went to my parents house and confronted them about it again and they had this whole story that it was a surrogate mother and she means nothing and don’t go trying to find her and blah blah blah. I kinda believed it and let it go for a few years, plus honestly I didn’t have time to really even care considering I was going through a separation with my sons mother and I had to focus on my son and not my own bullshit.

A few years later when I was 26, I talked to someone about surrogacy and they said that really wasn’t a big thing in the mid 80s because it was experimental and you had to have a lot of money to get that done. So the next time I saw my parents, I stayed overnight and after my mom went to bed, I confronted my dad about it. He still confirmed I came from a surrogate and they used my parents dna. So I let it go again.

Many years passed after this until the topic came up again. I was now 35 and the pandemic hit and I started thinking about all the weird shit involving this topic. Like why would my aunt use the word adopted, and my parents never had a lot of money to do surrogacy in the 80s. So I decided to do some research on how I can find original documents of my birth. I called a bunch of adoption agencies but they couldn’t give that info, but one lady told me I can file for a petition to receive my original birth certificate, and I did that. It took a few weeks but it finally came and it showed the biological mother’s name and no dad and my name was just a last name so I started to think maybe it was a surrogate.

I decided to dig deeper and look on white pages and then Facebook to find this person. I did find her and found out she was still local and I reached out to her. We eventually met up and she was there with her husband and another woman. The husband was not my father but a man from a later marriage and the other woman was my sister that’s a year older than me.

She told me that after she had my sister, her parents told her to stay away from boys but she obviously didn’t and got pregnant by her friend. At the time her friend was about to leave for college and she didn’t want to ruin his life with a baby so she told him to not worry about it and she was going to give it up anyways. Eventually her parents found out she was pregnant and kicked her out of the house. She was homeless living under a bridge with her 1 year old daughter and me inside the womb. She worked at Arby’s and had a friend watch the 1 year old the entire time. One day she got hit by a car while riding her bike to Arby’s and the driver took off but the next car pulled over and it was her brothers friend and he helped her. Once he found out she was homeless he offered to let her live with him. That man eventually became her husband.

During the next few months she was trying to figure out adoption for me and her friend worked at a diner with a woman who knew a woman that was looking to adopt (my mom). Eventually they set up a private adoption. Shortly after I was born and due to the c section my biological mother had to stay in the hospital so she got to spend 10 days with me. After that was done, I went home to my parents who adopted me.

Upon learning of all of this I was pretty shocked but also found it kinda funny cause crazy things are always happening in my life. Never a dull moment! I also discovered that my biological mother has stage 4 lung cancer so I thought I might as well try to get to know her while she’s around. From there i built a strong relationship with my sister and we are very tight. I tried getting to know my biological mother more but she eventually got weirded out and cut me off. She was kind of a bitch about it and my sister told me she can’t stand her mother and she’s been a bitch her whole life, so that kinda made me feel better and feel grateful for my upbringing.

I also did research on the person who is my father and I found out college didn’t do him well and he eventually became a big con man that fucked over his family and wife and then later on became a heroin addict that developed a lot of mental health issues and he is currently homeless in Seattle.

So here I am today at 38. I still have not told my parents that I know because I don’t want them to get hurt. My mom had a big fear of me leaving. She always gets so weird anytime I have a good time with my friends parents or my girlfriends parents. It’s a strange jealously.

So now I’m at this point where I need to tell them because I am getting married in a few months and my sister is coming to the wedding.

Part of me wants to leave out that I met my biological mother because she isn’t in my life and doesn’t want to be so what’s the point? I just want to skip that part and mention only that I met my sister and have no intention of knowing the mother and the sister doesn’t really have a relationship with her either (which is partially true). Regardless I know my adoptee mom is going to get upset. My dad might be an asshole but that’s usual behavior of him. I just know mentioning that I know the biological mother would hurt my mom even more. I’m not even mad at my parents to lying to me honestly. I understand they were trying to be protective, but I seeked this info because of wanting to know medical history and what not. Plus it’s just interesting.

Anyways I’m planning to talk to my parents tonight.. Let me know your thoughts.