Yeah father I never knew and mom ,, well she sent me to get her cigarettes back in the day , and No they didn't card me back then , lol.

So I was adopted not long after my mom died of guess what ?? Well from what I was told it was cancer ,, she smoked.

Anyways I had a decent life , sure missed her , but guessing I blocked out the pain . It sure sucks damm a lot especially with not being able to call someone else " mom " . Not that I refused to it was just well you know ,

So now I'm married and started thinking about adopting, My ' parents ' was good to me and tried to be cool and normal, and for the most part it did feel like home , like family, Dad past first , 3 years ago mom past now I'm alone, not really cause I have my wife and 3 dogs , bird , rabbit. Lol quite the family isn't it?? No ,,,, no it's not , but hey .

My parents Did actually offer me kindness and love and tried real hard to make me feel like I was their kid , yeah I knew I wasn't, but they wanted me to live a good life, a better life than what was handled me . No they didn't try to force me or truck me or mold me into anything other than ME , just ME .

I loved that about them , sure I wasn't theirs in the sense, I get that and sure it sucked big time and even the part about not having someone to call " mom " or " dad " really sucked worse .

They never asked me to call them anything, they let me choose .

Thinking of it maybe I should have said mom or dad , but you know how that's a touchy subject and they never forced it on me and I'm so very grateful for that.

I know they would have helped me find my birth parents, my father was located in Florida but I never cared to look any further since he walked out on us when I was born , he didn't care , so why should I.

And we'll mom pasted away so no need to look for her .

They did take me often to the gravesite, untill I didn't want to go anymore,

I was very lucky to receive so much love from people who were not even blood , unlike my bio father,

I think about how could a father just walk out on " His " own children , well they do and get this , he wrote a letter to my mother saying he didn't want kids ,

And I found another letter from the woman he was with telling my mother to stay out of their lives and family they have two daughters, Like wow he didn't want kids - walked out on us - now has two more kids and that lady says stay away .

So yeah he was no good to start with.

For me being adopted,, it sucks because of it, But I'm so glad I had such warm and caring understanding parents they treated me not like their own , cause you just have to be honest, But they did treat me like theirs in all the sense of it .

They helped me and never lied to me even when they felt threatened when I wanted to look for my bio father, they took it , that Sharp pain, but still helped me . I was never gonna leave them for that guy , after what he did ??? Never , but they still felt stung , mom told me Dad felt sad , but didn't want it preventin

I miss them both