I’ve been going thru a lot for the past few weeks, last night I hit a breaking point, completely broke down and made a bad decision. I even knew it was before I made the choice to pick up the phone. There is this woman I’ve known for quite a while who has feelings for me, she has said so multiple times, I couldn’t take the lonely anymore so I sent her a text asking her to come over because I knew she would.

When she came over she made me dinner, we watched a movie, she listened to me cry, she didn’t ask questions, she just put her arms around me and laid there, didn’t make any moves, was very respectful. She’s smart, attractive, funny. Sounds great right? Not really, I don’t have feelings for her. I just couldn’t take dealing with everything on my own.

This morning she got up early, made coffee and breakfast, and is now currently in my shower. She has made plans to get me out of the house today. Im grateful that she cares, that she came over, that she made sure I was taken care of but that’s about it. I really don’t have the bandwidth to deal with her thinking this might be an in or a start of something.

I guess since I officially put my Queen of the Assholes crown back on last night, it’s time the take it off and admit it all to her when she gets out. What in the fuck was I thinking? I should have stuck with sticking this one out on my own.