Last weekend, I went on a first date with a woman, A. It was great, about 6 hours, and I kissed her at the end. We agreed to see each other again and made plans for yesterday.

Friday night, I went to a party with my friend B and their roommate C (who I’ve hung out with maybe 5 times with B, and I go to their place a lot). On the ride home, C is telling us about her date coming up on Sunday that they’re really excited for. They said they had a great make out session last time and are probably gonna have sex.

So yesterday (Saturday) I go out with A. Again, we have a great time, she invited me over, we had a long make out session and cuddled and kissed and it was very sweet. We agreed to go out again.

Right after I got home, I told my friend B about the date and how great it went! My friend B asked for a picture and tells me “wait… C has a date with this person tomorrow…”

So, it turns out the girl I made out with yesterday is likely gonna have sex with my friend tonight.

Obviously it’s only been 2 dates so we’re not exclusive or monogamous and there’s no expectation of that at all. So I don’t fault anyone here for anything. No one is acting “wrong” or unethical.

But I feel deeply weird and uncomfortable about it and I don’t know what to do. I am seriously just telling A and ending it and cancelling on our date for next weekend.

I think C is going to tell them on their date today so idek what’s gonna happen.

I just needed a space to get this out and vent bc I feel weird and confused 😵‍💫

(for additional context, I’m a very monogamous person)

TLDR: after 2 dates and a make out session with a girl and I find out she is also dating my friend.

UPDATE 1 : I texted A and told her, essentially that I know C and am friends with C and although no one had done anything wrong, I felt too uncomfortable with continuing and don’t think we should keep seeing each other. I also said that I’d had a great time on our dates, C is a great person and wished them the best.

She responded positively and said she understood.

UPDATE 2 : it seems like C plans to continue to date A, which is fine with me. B hates this whole situation. From their understanding, A had told C that she wasn’t seeing other people. Also, C was under the impression that A is nonmonog (which was the opposite of my impression). B hasn’t told me the whole tea, but again, really isn’t happy with A. So it seems like maybe something deeper is going on. Like, B doesn’t want C inviting A to their home.

I guess my post was also a little surface level, but on our date on Saturday, A was telling me how much they like me and flirting with me hard. I also told her that I don’t usually make out a second date and she flirty/joking asked “so I’m special?” And I was like “yeah” and she was like “you are too.” So I think based on her actions and words, I had gotten kinda the impression she was digging me and therefore not seeing anyone else. Again, we didn’t talk about it directly so that’s not her fault, but I do feel a bit misled.

We also very nearly had sex on Saturday. Personally, I don’t like to have sex with someone who’s seeing multiple people because I always get STI tested between partners, and you gotta wait like 2 weeks for those to be accurate. (If we had made the move to sex, I would’ve asked)

Anyway I’m guessing this will be my last update - unless A and C go steady and I end up in a group hang with them.