27f from Toronto, Canada here! As the title says, I'm at a loss regarding where to meet queer women.

I've gone two club events so far, but they were generally kind of stressful for me, I didn't really feel at ease or comfortable enough to approach anyone, so I just stayed with my friends. (One was an NYE queer event, the other was a kpop club night.)

From browsing several subreddits, the general consensus seems to be: (night)clubs, bars, clubs (in the activities sense, e.g. for sports). The problem is I'm not a big drinker, so bars barely interest me, not a fan of clubbing, hate sports and don't want to play them, and most of the LGBTQ clubs/groups are centred around activities I don't like at all, like TTRPG/DND.

All my hobbies are pretty much solo activities (baking, sewing). I enjoy musical theatre, but even the community theatre scene here is competitive and more and more theatres are shutting down (💔), so that's kind of a non-starter. I like kpop and write fanfiction, have a twitter account where I've met and befriended queer women, but they're all either in relationships already, in the US/a different continent, or there's no romantic spark.

I've been using dating apps (Her, Bumble, Hinge, just started FaceBook dating which makese think I'm at rock bottom) for almost over a year now, and haven't gone on a single date, let alone had more than one proper convo that's gone one for more than two days before being ghosted.

I've never even dated or kissed anyone, and while I generally think I have pretty okay self-esteem, it being seemingly impossible to be in a relationship, especially when I thought it would have happened at least once by now, is really demoralizing. Almost all my friends are dating and/or have serious partners, and sometimes I feel so embarrassed by the fact no one has ever even had a crush on me before.

While I know I'm not in the perfect position to be in a relationship (still closeted, still living at home with overbearing parents—but I have a job and am working on moving out! The housing market is just abysmal right now lol.), I know I'm a great friend, am fun to be around, and am pretty (hehe). I am shy irl though.

So, all that being said, where can someone like me meet women? Any advice (other than telling me some variant of "my time will come"—I've heard it too many times at this point and it doesn't help) would be much appreciated! Thank you everyone 🫶🏾