Hi everyone. I'm a 28F and live near New York. I have never experienced anything as impossible as trying to date or at this point, have anything positive even an ounce happen at all regarding... whatever the hell this is at this point. Not even getting a job in the pandemic after getting laid off with 300 people in the company I was working for was this difficult. I wouldn't normally speak out like this, as you can see, I really don't do much posting or commenting here on Reddit. Hoping this is not too much, in any sense. I genuinely appreciate whoever reads this. Here are my experiences: My current thoughts: No one is perfect, ever. Everyone has something going on. But there is a difference between that, instability and the complete lack of ability to communicate like a human being even an ounce with another human, and I'm absolutely sick of this s***. I genuinely do not see the point in continuing to try with this. At this point, it is better off to not have any success with this and remain single.

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- August 2022: 22-year old girl I matched with on HER wanted a one-night thing. She pretty much made that clear, but also said no matter what, she still wanted to be friends after because she genuinely enjoyed talking to me. We texted for 30 days straight before meeting up. The day before she texts me she wanted to make out with me. I took her for ice cream after dinner and kissed her in the car. So that was my first kiss, ever. It was my first time getting with anyone as well (when we got back to my place). She didn't even touch me. Got what she wanted (multiple times in that hour, I did real well for my first time) and she picks up her phone after, texts, and left. She was supposed to stay the night. She said the sex wasn't bad. I got ghosted. So no friendship at all and no one to talk about such an important experience with. Just gone.

- May 2023: I go on a lunch date with this girl, 27 years old, who matched with me on Tinder. So we didn't even message at all. We matched on a Friday night and she asked me to lunch that Sunday. We have lunch, and then I walked her to the train station. She was gorgeous. Was the personality what I thought it was? Not quite. Which is completely fine. So she sends me this long text after I get home that says "she's getting over a short relationship, but she absolutely loves how much I know about music and she would love to be friends." I told her I would love that and I'm always down to welcome a new friend, and that she should take the lead on that. Never heard from her again. This one I'm not crushed about, because it clearly revealed this would not have been right for me. It's the point of, "how much can someone take and not have one ounce of success?"

- October 2023: I meet this girl on Hinge, who was 25. We talk for a week and we arranged for me to drive an hour and a half each way, yes, an hour and a half each way, to go on a dinner date a week later, the next Sunday. The day of, she messages me on her own on Hinge, "Ready for tonight? :)". So, it seems like she is looking forward to it. I get there, we have dinner for an hour, then the waiter moves us to the high-top tables so they can set up the live band that was performing in the grill/bar in a bit. So we move to the high-top tables and I ask her, "Hey, can I ask you a question?" She says "Sure thing. Ask me whatever you want." I ask "What do you think so far?" She straight up says: "I don't like you at all." Then I was curious so I ask, "Was I like how I was on the app, the same in-person?" She says "Exactly the same." I'm intrigued and ask "Your profile says you're looking for friends as well, I'm always down to welcome a new friend. What would you think then about that?" She says "I don't like you at all." But pays the full dinner bill, walks me to my car, hugs me goodbye and then tells me to message her when I get home safely. Looking back a month later or so, some of the stuff she was saying in the conversations at dinner had my antennas up a bit about her stability. Some of the stuff she said concerned me. But still. Then why did you even go out with me? And who the hell tells someone to their face that they CHOSE to go out with and spoke to for a week, "I don't like you at all"?

-November 2023: I match with this girl on Hinge on a Sunday. Four messages in she says "You've been to a lot of concerts. We should go to one together *With a flirty-type emoji*." I offered her my number about an hour into the conversation, she texts me and says she even left the Taylor Swift movie to text me. Yes, it was her second time seeing it, but still, not the point here. I told her "It's cute that you want to do something sometime :)". She said "Yeah I'd love to!" a few minutes later says that I'm cute. We keep texting and she ultimately says "I'm not athletic at all, but I'd love to come see your softball game sometime." And "You'll have to come to my play in March!" Please keep this in mind as well. She texts me on her own the next evening (Monday evening), wishing me luck in my playoff softball game. We also talk on the phone for a full hour that night as well when I get home from the game. The next day she texts me "Good morning!!" on her own. We plan to go on a dinner date on the Friday. Me being me, responsible and caring, I plan to make us a reservation, because going into town on a Friday night is a mess. She barely texts me Wednesday-Friday, I find it odd. But she texts me "Thank you so much for making the effort to make a reservation. No one's ever done that for me before!" So the Friday night comes, dinner is going great, so I think. She tells me about her past and told me I should absolutely tell her about mine, she wants to know. So we felt comfortable telling each other what's gone on, I thought that was great. I kept it brief, but she understood what I've been through. She offers that we should go to a chocolate shop down the block after dinner. After that, I drive her back to where she parked. She says "It was really cool hanging out with you!" and told me text her when I get home. I text her when I get home safely and added "I had a great night and you looked beautiful." She says "Yay! Me too! And thanks!" then radio silence. I text her about it and ask her what's going on, I really would like to know what she thought of me and the date. She tells me "She feels a stronger connection to others she was talking to at this time." Did you not mention at minimum, four future-facing things we were "going to do in March/in the future"? That's unbelievably cruel.

- November 2023: I match with this girl who is 30 years old on Hinge. She's a total red flag from the beginning. But the punchline is she said she is looking for sapphic friends that could "blossom into benefits." I explain my past to her, she totally understands where I've been. She even says to "It's like you give a piece of yourself each time you talk to someone and start again. I totally understand." She tells me add her on Snap because she'd love to keep talking. She sends me a nude a few hours in and then I flirt with her and say "so you like me? ;)." She says "YES. YES I DO." And tells me how I'm the smartest and most genuine girl I've met on the app, even moreso than a girl she actually hooked up with a few weeks ago. That was her first time with a girl with that girl a few weeks ago. She's gone through four relationships, all with men, even married one and got divorced. We talk for three days. We talk about meeting up to hook up, how she has family in the area where I live and that would work out really well. And then yesterday she says "I'll match you, tit for tit, so they say" about sending a pic. I send one, she loves what she sees, she sends another one back. Then I tell her "I can't wait until you get to see them in real life soon ;)." She then proceeds to tell me "I'm not attracted to you romantically or sexually, but I feel a very strong friendship vibe." What is your PROBLEM? Clearly many, many problems. Thank god I dodged that one, what a disaster of a human. But. That doesn't mean that another total fuckover doesn't fuck with you.

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