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I was wondering if anyone here has been diagnosed with ASD/Aspergers/Autism and has experienced an ego death during an acid trip, and what that experience was like?
Recently, I've been in somewhat of an attempted healing period in my life, trying to better understand my Self and my unique needs. I know that I have often struggled to relate to other people, because my reality is so different from the widely accepted human reality in ways that I can't really describe (you can't explain red to someone who has never seen red, a comparison I see often applied to both psychedelic experiences, and the autistic experience). I have been conditioned by both society and my Ego to hide any evidence that I don't perceive the accepted reality, in fear of the social trauma that being different brings about. I also struggle with an overwhelming amount of internal dialogue, and I struggle to separate my Self from my Ego
I have heard anecdotally that, due to this already highly altered perception of reality, we may need much higher than average doses to start feeling any effects. This seems to line up with my first and only psychedelic experience (so far); while overseas on vacation in the UK, I was offered and ingested a half tab, no idea what the exact dosage was. Despite already being possibly the most 420 blazed I've ever been, and continuing to smoke throughout the night, I had only minor effects. It felt like every part of me was vibrating on a moleculer level, and I had some very cool closed-eye visuals while listening to music, but that was about the extent of it. It was enjoyable overall, but also left me feeling like "uhh, was that it??". The come-down was miserable because both I and my partner at the time were ill prepared for it, and that nearly resulted in a full-blown meltdown in a crowded train station the day after. Even being as uninformed and unprepared as I was, knowing nothing about set and setting and not knowing how to kill the trip if I needed to, it didn't turn me off from the experience. And now it feels like all signs are pointing me towards another trip, with the intent to kill my ego and start truly healing my brain
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