Ignore what the trolls at /r/ASX_Bets are saying, anyone, even you can be the proud owner of a brand new Lamborghini without taking any investment risks. Want to find out how? Read on!

The Lamborghini you want to own is a Lamborghini Huracan (RRP $384,187) as this is the cheapest Lamborghini on the market. Don't worry about on road costs, you don't want to actually drive this vehicle as it guzzles 13.7 litres of fuel per 100 kilometres which is very, very uneconomical. At current petrol prices of $1.30/litre this would cost you $17.81 for every 100km you drive, and substantially depreciate the value of the Lamborghini in the process. Also please note I used the petrol price for standard unleaded petrol for this calculation, as premium petrol is only required if you're someone who wants to pay for petrol from their 'splurge' account rather than their everyday expenses account. Personally I’d rather use my splurge funds to occasionally treat myself to John West Tuna Tempter ($2.30 for 95 grams) rather than my usual Woolworths Tuna ($0.90 for 95 grams).

So how do you get to a bank balance of $384,187 and become the proud owner of a lambo? Minimise your outgoings and maximise your incomings, it’s that easy. Trim the fat from your outgoings, for example I looked at my budget and realised that I could simply swap out my Woolworths Tuna ($0.90 for 95 grams) for Woolworths Tuna Chunks ($1.30 for 185 grams), a saving of $73 per year if you eat at least one tuna meal a day. All of a sudden that lambo is getting closer, as $384,187 becomes a much more manageable $384,114.

You can also minimise your outgoings by declining any social event, as these are one of the biggest money sinks going around. If there’s one thing I learned from doing a 7 month lockdown in 2020 due to COVID, it’s that friends and family are mindless consumers who spend money like it’s an inflationary asset. A simple event, such as going to your mother’s funeral, can cost hundreds of dollars once you factor in a $99 suit from Tarocash (don’t be afraid to haggle), buying a pair of second hand suit shoes, a reversible tie (to maximise usage) and a bus fare to get to the funeral and back. The good thing is for these type of events is you have the power to say NO. When asked, just say you’re trying to save money at the moment and have already made plans to go to the park and make use of the free exercise equipment (save $1040 a year on gym fees).

But what about those of us who want a lambo sooner rather than later? I’m about to let you in on a little secret the Liberal party don’t want you to know about called s̶e̶x̶u̶a̶l̶ ̶a̶s̶s̶a̶u̶l̶t̶ making your money work for you. The standard variable rate on your ING High Interest Savings account is 0.05% p.a, which is excellent in itself, but did you know there are other ways to earn significantly more? A 12 month term deposit for ING is 0.22%, that’s a 400% pay increase just for locking away your funds for an entire year. For example if you combine your tuna money, your money saved from skipping funerals, and your emergency fund, you can turn your $1200 into a tidy $1202.64 by this time next year (less applicable income taxes).

I know what you’re thinking, how can my last tip top earning an extra 400% a year? Cash. That’s right, cash. Since 2009 the ASX has had not one, not two, but three years where ASX ended up loosing money for it’s “investors” (I like to call them gamblers). You know what hasn’t lost money any year you’ve been invested? Cash. If you sold at the bottom in 2011, 2018 or 2020 you’d have lost not only your profits, but also part of your capital as well. You wouldn’t set a $100 note on fire so why would you risk capital loss when you can get a guaranteed profit each and every year. Make your money work for you, don’t work for it (although I do recommend working lol).

And that’s it, as simple as that. Look for where you can save money, look for where you can make money and then just sit back and wait for a financial windfall where your parents die and leave you a house, a car, and a $1.3m share portfolio (remember to convert this to cash ASAP). Enjoy your new lambo, you’ve earned it.