If you want to credit me, I am @EmeraldAshesAudio on Youtube.

Note: Two versions for this script. Scroll down for [A4F]. I am also @EmeraldAshesAudio on YouTube, if you would like to credit me.

[A4A Version]

[Internal. Whispered. Echo?] Goddammit, that’s them again. Deep breaths, [your name]. You’ve got this. This whole crazy situation ends today.

Hey! You! I can see you hiding over there. [Annoyed] You’re not very good at it.

[Authoritative] Don’t run. If you do, I’ll hunt you down. That wouldn’t exactly be hard, since you’re everywhere I go lately.

[Pause]

Why are you following me?

[Pause]

[Authoritative] Stop mumbling. I can’t hear you.

[Pause]

[Flustered] What?

[Pause]

You’re following me…because you have a crush on me?

[Pause]

No, you’re not “in love with me.” We’ve literally never talked before. That’s stupid.

[Pause]

[Annoyed] Don’t give me that look. That’s just not how love works, so stop saying it like that. You have a crush on me or you’re enamored with me or something. So you decided to follow me around, apparently. That’s really creepy, you know.

[Pause]

Don’t lie to me. I’m not an idiot. I’m seeing you everywhere, including your face in my window last night, and I know you weren’t [Sarcastic] “just passing by.” I live on the fifth floor. You probably thought you ducked down in time, but —

[Pause]

[Startled, a little worry] Wait, you fell out of a tree? Are you okay?

[Pause]

Ouch. That looks like it hurt. Sorry you…actually, no. I’m not sorry. You definitely had it coming.

[Commanding] How long have you been stalking me?

[Pause]

Well, that’s fucking terrifying. I only noticed a week ago. You kind of suck at the whole stalker thing, but I wasn’t exactly looking for you at first.

[Pause]

[Annoyed, mocking] Love at first sight, huh? We talked about that word already, didn’t we?

[Pause]

[Flustered] Uh, yeah, overwhelming attraction at first sight seems more accurate. Weird, considering we’re talking about me. But everybody’s got a type, I guess.

[Pause]

Thanks, I think.

So you saw me in the store and then you followed me home like a stray dog. [Increasingly upset] But stray dogs don’t break in and steal your stuff and rifle through your laundry and keep you up at night because what if you left the window unlocked?

[Pause]

Really? Now you’re gonna cry about it?

[Pause]

[Internal. Whispered. Echo?] [Name], you know they’re manipulating you. You are not going to get all protective over a Bunny Boiler. [Starting to feel sorry for them] Even if they kind of look like a kicked puppy right now.

[Internal. Whispered. Echo?] …Dammit.

You really don’t have to cry. I’m not gonna call the cops, or whatever.

[Pause]

No, I don’t hate you.

[Pause]

You’re right. I probably should, but I don’t.

[Sigh] Try not to read into this, but do you want a hug? You just really look like you need one, and I’m the only person here so [Gasp] Wow, you’re really squeezy, huh?

[Pause]

You want to take me off that pedestal? I’m not [slight disgust] kind. Trust me, you’re the only person who’s ever thought that. This is just basic human decency in a really…weird…situation.

[Pause]

[Comforting] Try not to beat yourself up about it. [Thoughtful] Well, not too much. A little beating yourself up is probably good, actually. You really can’t do stuff like this.

[Pause]

Why didn’t you just ask me out instead of going full creeper?

[Pause]

Honestly, even if you did come on way too strong, I probably still would have said yes. You’re, well. [Sweet, embarrassed] You’re really attractive.

[Pause]

Did you seriously just ask me out?

You’ve been stalking me for three months.

[Pause]

[Sarcastic] Well, good for you for putting yourself out there, I guess.

[Pause]

No, I haven’t answered yet.

[Internal, whispered, echo?] Okay, [Name], I know they’re cute, but there is something very, very wrong with them. All you have to do is say no. Just say no. Just. Say…

Fine. One coffee.

You’re paying, by the way. I just dropped a fortune on self-defense classes.

[Pause]

Simmer down, sunshine. There is zero need to kill for me. Ever. We live in the suburbs. You’re the most dangerous person in my life right now.

[Annoyed] Try not to look so smug about that. I’m still pretty sure I could take you in a fight. If I weren’t, we would not be doing this right now.

[Pause]

Yeah, fine. You can hold my hand. Come on. Let’s go.

[A4F Version]

[Internal. Whispered. Echo?] Goddammit, that’s her again. Deep breaths, [your name]. You’ve got this. This whole crazy situation ends today.

Hey! You! I can see you hiding over there. [Annoyed] You’re not very good at it.

[Authoritative] Don’t run. If you do, I’ll hunt you down. That wouldn’t exactly be hard, since you’re everywhere I go lately.

[Pause]

Why are you following me?

[Pause]

[Authoritative] Stop mumbling. I can’t hear you.

[Pause]

[Flustered] What?

[Pause]

You’re following me…because you have a crush on me?

[Pause]

No, you’re not “in love with me.” We’ve literally never talked before. That’s stupid.

[Pause]

[Annoyed] Don’t give me that look. That’s just not how love works, so stop saying it like that. You have a crush on me or you’re enamored with me or something. So you decided to follow me around, apparently. That’s really creepy, you know.

[Pause]

Don’t lie to me. I’m not an idiot. I’m seeing you everywhere, including your face in my window last night, and I know you weren’t [Sarcastic] “just passing by.” I live on the fifth floor. You probably thought you ducked down in time, but —

[Pause]

[Startled, a little worry] Wait, you fell out of a tree? Are you okay?

[Pause]

Ouch. That looks like it hurt. Sorry you…actually, no. I’m not sorry. You definitely had it coming.

[Commanding] How long have you been stalking me?

[Pause]

Well, that’s fucking terrifying. I only noticed a week ago. You kind of suck at the whole stalker thing, but I wasn’t exactly looking for you at first.

[Pause]

[Annoyed, mocking] Love at first sight, huh? We talked about that word already, didn’t we?

[Pause]

[Flustered] Uh, yeah, overwhelming attraction at first sight seems more accurate. Weird, considering we’re talking about me. But everybody’s got a type, I guess.

[Pause]

Uh, thanks, I think.

So you saw me in the store and then you followed me home like a stray dog. [Increasingly upset] But stray dogs don’t break in and steal your stuff and rifle through your laundry and keep you up at night because what if you left the window unlocked?

[Pause]

Really? Now you’re gonna cry about it?

[Pause]

[Internal. Whispered. Echo?] [Name], you know she’s manipulating you. You are not going to get all protective over Miss Bunny Boiler. [Starting to feel sorry for her] Even if she kind of looks like a kicked puppy right now.

[Internal. Whispered. Echo?] …Dammit.

You really don’t have to cry. I’m not gonna call the cops, or whatever.

[Pause]

No, I don’t hate you.

[Pause]

You’re right. I probably should, but I don’t.

[Sigh] Try not to read into this, but do you want a hug? You just really look like you need one, and I’m the only person here so [Gasp] Wow, you’re really squeezy, huh?

[Pause]

You want to take me off that pedestal? I’m not [slight disgust] kind. Trust me, you’re the only person who’s ever thought that. This is just basic human decency in a really…weird…situation.

[Pause]

[Comforting] Try not to beat yourself up about it. [Thoughtful] Well, not too much. A little beating yourself up is probably good, actually. You really can’t do stuff like this.

[Pause]

Why didn’t you just ask me out instead of going full creeper?

[Pause]

I do like girls, actually.

Honestly, even if you did come on way too strong, I probably still would have said yes. You’re, well. [Sweet, embarrassed] You’re really pretty.

[Pause]

Did you seriously just ask me out?

You’ve been stalking me for three months.

[Pause]

[Sarcastic] Well, good for you for putting yourself out there, I guess.

[Pause]

No, I haven’t answered yet.

[Internal, whispered, echo?] Okay, [Name], I know she’s cute, but there is something very, very wrong with her. All you have to do is say no. Just say no. Just. Say…

Fine. One coffee.

You’re paying, by the way. I just dropped a fortune on self-defense classes.

[Pause]

Simmer down, sunshine. There is zero need to kill for me. Ever. We live in the suburbs. You’re the most dangerous person in my life right now.

[Annoyed] Try not to look so smug about that. I’m still pretty sure I could take you in a fight. If I weren’t, we would not be doing this right now.

[Pause]

Yeah, fine. You can hold my hand. Come on. Let’s go.