Part 1 Part 3

Context: You are the villainess Vixen, known to be able to topple empires with a simple sway of your hips. People assume a lot about you, and you're largely happy to let them. It is a lonely life, though. No one to share your riches with, no one to share a glass of wine with, not even someone to watch memes with. The only company you usually get is in the form of heroes trying to stop you. They're fun, you suppose, but not much different from normal people. Ah well. You're sure the right person will come along eventually. And then he did. One problem: he’s a hero.

Setting: Your home

Tags: [M4F][Enemies to Lovers][Nerdy Hero Speaker][Devious Villainess Listener][Hero x Villain][Nerds][Spicy][Flirting][The Real You][Inner Monologue][Comfort][Light Comedy][You're My Friend Now][CW: Spicy Themes]

Usage: You may tweak or record this script. Gender flipping is OK! Please credit me if you use this script in any of your projects. If you would like to use this script for a paywalled recording, please note:

Monetization: All forms of monetization are OK with me! Youtube, Patreon, etc. I would appreciate being able to listen to the recording, if possible. Let me know if you have any questions. Thank you!

[Scene opens in Vixen’s home]

[SFX: Some light lofi]

…I have done the dumbest thing I could have possibly have done

[SFX: Sheets shuffling]

The Shadows are going to realize what I’ve done, they’re going to know I slept with her, and then they’re going to try and use that as an excuse to call down a full Class 9 order on her, and even Vixen won’t be able to survive!

[Pause?]

[The hero tenses as you stir and kiss his cheek]

“Aha…h-haha, morning. You, um… Wow, the sunlight hits you so nicely.”

[Pause?]

[He turns a deep red]

“Am I going to arrest you now? I, um…”

[SFX: Handcuffs rattling]

“...I guess you, uh, do have the handcuffs on still, haha. You are something else, you know that?”

[Pause <3]

“... How you yawn is super cute.”

[<3]

[You smooch him for a bit, which he seems fairly OK with]

“Mmh… Wow… Uh, here, I can take those off. I don’t want them to chafe.”

[He reaches down but pauses]

“I… Um…”

[Pause]

“...I really should arrest you… The longer I go without reporting back, the more suspicious or worried the Shadows will get.”

[Pause?]

“The Shadows? Eh, it’s a nice way of saying “clandestine, neutral agents that interact with both Cape and Cowl, heroes and villains”, yadda yadda. You present a big problem because your powers are considered large-scale memetic, meaning you could influence millions of people at once if given the opportunity.”

[Pause~]

“Hehe, yeah, please don’t. Making millions of people do embarrassing dances for a few hours sounds funny, in principle, but that would potentially include ill people, people who would get hurt, the elderly, etc.”

[...]

[His voice softens and he moves closer to you]

“Hey… Listen. It’s going to be OK. Just tell me w-what’s wrong, and I’m sure we can talk it out.”

[Pause…]

“... You don’t really know how to control your powers? Really? You make it look so easy, though. Mmh… That complicates things. By a-a lot, actually…”

[...]

“This is serious. This is… bad. If you don’t fully understand your powers, then the Quandry might-”.

[Pause?]

“W-What? You want to get some w-waffles? Uhh, Vixen, are you sure that’s a good idea?”

[Pause]

“O-OK… Um… S-Shower good, yes.”

[SFX: A shower going]

[<3]

She wants to get my back… Vixen, THE Vixen, is beckoning me into the shower with her. H-How do normal people handle this shit?! Feels like my heart is going to explode! B-But maybe… maybe if I’m careful, I can still make it out of this without anyone getting hurt

[Pause]

“O-OK, I’m… getting in the shower.”

[You get his back while he stands there, tense as a board]

[Pause?]

“H-Hmm? Oh, me? Haha, I’m not that interesting. I’m a Class 4 hero named Gradius.”

[Pause]

“Why Gradius? Oh, my power is being able to win any game at least five times. Past five wins on any game gets a little squirrely. Dumb power, right?”

[Pause]

[He laughs sheepishly]

“Yeah, OK, you got me. I did start as a pretty pathetic ‘villain’, winning e-sports games, even though I sucked at the games. The Shadows reached out and had me play some high-stakes card games with spies and dictators, and the like. Got some of our boys and girls out of bad situations by… well… “hax”, I guess.”

[Pause]

O-Oh no she wants me to talk about MY interests? No no no, not my weakness! How does she know all of my weaknesses?!

[Pause]

“U-Um… You’re really not concerned about me being a hero, huh?”

[Pause]

“No, I mean… You being a villain doesn’t bother me… A-Ahem, I just, yeah, wow. Talking is HARD, am I right?”

[Pause]

“Aha… N-No, I’m definitely not used to talking to people. Even at the hero gym, I’m the guy in the corner on the treadmill while I game while the others compare their muscles and stuff.”

[<3]

“Oh God, please don’t purr and trace my muscles, I am actually concerned I’m going to die in this very nice house with you smiling up at me with that coy little grin. I’m meant to be arresting you, not… cozying up in the shower after an incredible night followed by getting…waffles… Damn, you do make villainy sound appealing.”

[Pause]

[He laughs]

“True, getting waffles isn’t necessarily evil… I guess we’re living almost… normally for a brief moment, huh?”

[SFX: The shower shutting off and some towels floofing]

“...Um… Vixen?”

[Pause?]

“Do you… really think I’m attractive?”

[Pause]

“O-OK, I know we broke your bed, but-”.

[Pause]

“Y-Yes, I’m aware of the lipstick marks that haven’t all washed off.”

[Pause]

“...Look, I-I’m a nerd, OK? My perception is low and never crits.”

[Pause?]

[He blushes]

“... Y-Yeah, I guess I do have high Int. stats… Noo, it’s not fair that you’re hot AND nerdy, that’s not fair!”

[He tenses as you smooch him and toss a shirt at him]

“Mmh… Borf! Shirt. Yes. For cover chest. Yes.”

[You two dress and start the day… as best you can]

“So, ah… What are you up to today?”

[Pause]

“R-Right, right, getting waffles and then see what mood strikes you. Um, well… W-We could take my van down to the waffle house? Or walk and… h-hold hands…”

[Pause?]

“H-Huh? I didn’t say anything. Um. Waffles! Yes! 10 AM waffles it is!”

[He makes a happy sound as you take his hand]

Aaaaaa she’s holding my hand aaaaAAAAAAAA-!!!!

[Pause]

“Y-Yeah, I’m good! I’m… yeah. Let’s go.”

[The two of you head out toward the unknown. Mostly waffles, though]

[To be continued?]