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Context: You're a college student, studying marine biology, and you've just survived midterms. Thanks to that, you and others in your program are going out on a boat to celebrate. Hopefully, all will go well. After all, what place could a marine biology student be more at home than at sea?
Setting: The S.S. Party Bucket
Tags: [M4A][Friends to ?][Tsundere Merman Speaker][Marine Biology Student Listener][Confession][Reveal][Drama/Angst][Peer Pressure][Hidden Issues][Survival][Flirting?][Protective][CW: Injury]
Usage: You may tweak or record this script. Gender flipping is OK! Please credit me if you use this script in any of your projects. If you would like to use this script for a paywalled recording, please note:
Monetization: All forms of monetization are OK with me! Youtube, Patreon, etc. I would appreciate being able to listen to the recording, if possible. Let me know if you have any questions. Thank you!
***
[Scene opens on a boat]
[SFX: General partying]
[Youâre looking out over the water while the rest of the group parties behind you, just trying to spot a fish or something interesting, when a gruff voice comes from behind you]
âYo, Guppy! You arenât going to catch any sexy Merman swimming in this lighting!â
[You turn and see Tate, looking unimpressed as always]
[Pause]
âYeah, yeah, I get youâre the programâs star marine biologist or whatever, but this is a party. You should at least get yourself a beer or something. Might help you unwind a little from midterms?â
[Pause]
[He rolls his eyes]
âJesus above, I will literally hand you a beer. Right now. See this other beer Iâm holding? Yeah. You drink? Is good.â
[Pause]
âWhat? Your bag is below deck. You have to take your meds before drinking any beer? Yeah, fine. Do you want me to grab it for you?â
[Pause]
âFine. But youâre drinking irresponsibly once youâre good and medicated, my dear! PEER PRESSURE!â
[SFX: The Listener walking across the deck]
[A bit of time passes - Tate walks around, looking for the Listener]
âYo! You seen Guppy? Iâm trying to waterboard them with beer!â
[Pause]
âDamnit, where could they have gone⌠Josh! You seen Guppy?â
[Pause]
âPrank? What kind of pr-?â
[SFX: The Listener jumping into the water]
âHOLY SHIT! They just jumped into the water! Move! MOVE, GODAMNIT!â
[SFX: A second splash]
âGuppy! Hey! Hey, they got cut open on the coral reef! HEY! Bring the boat around!â
[Pause]
âWHAT DO YOU MEAN THE CAPTAIN IS TOO DRUNK TO STEER?! Gah, damnit! O-OK, Iâm going to try and get them to that island, OK?!â
[Pause!]
âFucking Captain is drunk, motherfuck⌠This is one of those âWell if it isnât the consequences of my own actions!â moments, isnât it? Donât worry, the boat is going to come back for us⌠I hope. All they can do right now is keep on the automatically mapped route. Freaking autopilot saving humanity, huh Guppy?â â
[...]
â...Guppy?â
[...?]
âHey, hey, hey! Câmon, Guppy! Câmon! Câmon, look at meâŚâ
[You try but canât really manage to look at all four of him]
[PauseâŚ]
âDamnit! Damnit⌠OK⌠O-OK, I donât know how out of it you are right now, but everything youâre about to see is an illusion, got it?â
[???]
[SFX: A mermaid tail unfurling]
âShut up, just⌠NNGH! Damnit, the transformation process between human and Mer is so PAINFUL! Alright, take a breath, weâre swimming for the island!â
[SFX: Swimming and general grumpy Merman noises]
[???]
âNngh⌠yeah, OK, here we go. One rocky beach for one brain-damaged human idiot. What were you thinking, jumping like that?! The second a human submerges like that is the second the local predators know they can start eating!â
[PauseâŚ]
âJosh? What about Josh? I know you two have some weird rivalry or, like, love-hate thing going on but thatâs about it.â
[...]
âWait, heâs your stepbrother? Eugh, seriously? With the way he treats you?â
[...]
[He tenses as you start to cry, looking about as uncomfortable as a Merman can]
âOh God, human tears⌠Um⌠there thereâŚ?â
[Pause]
[He exhales with a grumble]
â...OK. Let it out. Tell Tate all about it, I guess. Curl up in my tail⌠There. Now, what about Josh? What did he do when you two were alone on the boat?â
[Pause]
âI see⌠And heâs always like that with you?â
[Pause]
âFuckâs sake⌠If your parents favor him, theyâre idiots. Youâre way smarter, way more driven, way funnier, way prettier, way u-uh⌠Youâre good. Heâs not. Thatâs all there is to it.â
[Pause?]
âHow can I tell? The guy is pretty awful, itâs not hard. If he were a fish, heâd be the one fish that got punched by an angry octopus out of the whole school. Or the moray eel that the octopus rides like a rodeo bull to piss it off. Or that one giant isopod that took out a whole shark. Said shark was a massive dick, is what Iâm trying to say, and the ocean doesnât care about good or evil, but it wonât abide assholes.â
[...]
â...Yeah, Iâm a Merman. Part-time, I guess. Since the reintegration project, some of us have been attending land universities to, you know, get a taste of the culture. Iâm not allowed to say who else, but-â.
[Pause?]
â...Yeah, Noahâs one too. Fucking idiot, I keep telling him not to frolic around in his pearl earrings, singing sea shanties, and wanting to do laps in the pool constantly. Dude is proud of his heritage, what can I say?â
[Pause]
âMe? Meh⌠My colors and patterns arenât as fancy as his. Iâm what you guys would call a âmuttâ, I guess. My mom had pink scales, my Dad had blue scales, and BAM, here I am, a whole purple baby with gold markings. Why? Fuck genetics, thatâs why.â
[...]
â...You donât seem that weirded out.â
[Pause]
âTrue, Moonvale University isnât exactly lacking in supernatural students⌠I donât know why I feel so inadequate by comparison, you know? Youâve got that Oni boy who accidentally benched an entire car, or that creepy girl who can hum and make people love her, or the werewolf girl who has to grill every week as a âreligious ceremonyâ. Iâm over here like âHello! I am a fish!â.â
[Pause]
â...You think Iâm pretty neat, huh? Heh⌠Fair enough⌠You feeling OK down there?â
[...]
âHey, I know youâre tired but you gotta keep your eyes open, OK? You hit your head and that coral sliced you up pretty hard. Câmon, Guppy, just think of how hard youâre gonna punch Josh in his stupid face, yeah?â
[...]
â...Guppy?â
[...]
âH-Hey! Hey, câmon! No, donât you dare close your eyes! Donât you dare-!â
[Your eyes slip shut. You really hope youâre not hallucinating the handsome Merman. You do hope, however, that the coconut crabs are hallucinations]
[To be continued]
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