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[A4A] A Snow Owl And A Lamia Are "Kidnapped" By Humans [Owl Speaker] [Lamia Listener] [Enemies To Uneasy Allies] [Tsundere(?) Speaker] [Relocation] [Escape] [Road Trip!] [Part 2] [Offscreen Tranquilizers So CW: Drugging To Be Safe]
Author Summary
SplashiestPig is anyone looking for anyone in Escape
Post Body

Part 1, Part 2

Part 2 (ScriptBin) : Part 2 (Google Docs)

All use is encouraged. You can edit. You can paywall. You can monetize. You can bully this script into letting you crash in its burrow. Go nuts! Credit SplashiestPig.

Key:

( ) = Verbal Sound Effect

[ ] = Added Sound Effect

* * = Silent Insert

{ } = Line Delivery

Warming Up

[train ambiance]

(yawn)

{drowsily}

That might just be the best I’ve ever slept! Who knew lamias were such good pillows?

(yawn)

Oh well, that snake is still a predator, no matter how good it is at snuggling. I need to get out of here before it gets any ideas. So let’s go ahead and just….

*small pause*

Where did the cave go?

*listener speaks*

Oh, Lamia, you’re awake! Care to explain where you’ve dragged me off to? And if this is some weird reptilian craving, I will not hesitate to gut you.

*listener denies*

You didn’t drag me here? Did that shriveled-up raisin you call a brain, freeze overnight? We were alone in that cave. I didn’t move us, which means you did. So where are we?

*listener claims*

How can you not know? There’s no way we got far. Neither of us are exactly light, so you couldn’t have…

*small pause*

How did you even get us in here? All of these holes are tiny, and while you may be some boneless freak, I’m sure I wouldn’t fit through these little circles.

*small pause*

Come to think of it, these circles are really round. Like… too round. I’ve only ever seen things this weird when…

*small pause*

Oh no.

*listener asks*

Oh goddess, please no! It’s one thing for this to be happening. Another for it to be not at all my fault. But to be in this situation with a lamia?! Please, let me be dreaming!

*listener repeats*

Shut up, snake! You’ve gone and doomed us both!

*listener questions*

Wow, you’re dumb. Can’t you see it? Can’t you see what’s happening?

*listener speaks*

You’re reckless human mugging got us taken! We must have been sedated and dragged off in the middle of the night!

*listener comments*

How do I know? Well for one, I’m sure I wouldn’t have slept so soundly with my mortal enemy without some human intervention. And secondly, we’re clearly in a human box! Judging by the sound of it, we’re on some sort of vehicle, and it’s moving fast! We’re getting relocated to goddess knows where, all because you couldn’t be satisfied eating voles and squirrel boys.

*listener denies*

Oh, don’t try to defend yourself. This is all your fault. I was living a perfect life, and now I’m getting disappeared. Thanks a lot, pal.

*listener speaks*

Just be shoosh for a few minutes. Your useless squawking isn’t helping me figure out how I’m getting out of here.

*listener comments*

No, I didn’t mean how we’re getting out of here. I meant I’m. I’m getting me out of here, and if I can manage it, I’m going to make sure you stay. It’d serve you right for sucking me into all of this.

*listener states*

Whatever you’re about to say doesn’t matter. I’ve got my plan. I’m going to sit here, until the humans open the crate, and then I’m throwing you at them and flying North. They’ll sedate you, I’ll laugh, and it’ll be a great time.

*listener claims*

It will too work! And I don’t need to take advice from someone who's dumber than a goldfish!

*listener speaks*

No, you only think you're smart because you're dumb. Dumb people don’t know they’re dumb. Me, on the other wing, I’m smart so I….

*listener comments*

Stop smirking, I heard it when I said it out loud.

*listener speaks*

Well then, if I’m so dumb and you’re so smart, then why won’t my plan work?

*listener reveals*

Collar? What are you..?

*small pause*

Oh, that collar. Yeah, that’s probably not good.

*listener confirms*

Well then, O’ genius mine, how do you propose we get out of this?

*listener explains*

You’re just a few words in, and I can already tell you that plan isn’t going to work.

*listener asks*

It won’t work because I’m not going to work with you! You’re a snake! You’re untrustworthy! There’s like, a gazillion fables that say so.

*listener comments*

Oh, don’t highroad me. I’m sticking with my plan. All you’re good for is to act as a meat shield while I-!

[wood clunks]

How’d you do that?

*listener speaks*

No! Hey, how’d you get that part of the box off?! I need to know if we’re going to work together! It’s-!

*listener interrupts*

Who said you wanted to work together? Uh, you did. Just now.

*listener comments*

No, I’m pretty sure I agreed. You said, “Let’s work together… we’ll be able to watch each other’s backs… we definitely won’t abandon our partners as soon as we open the box…”

*listener states*

Well, who are you going to believe, the wise owl, or the stupid snake?

[snake rattles]

Wait, that wasn’t meant to be an insult! I didn’t-!

*listener demands*

What? No! I won’t! Just because you opened the box doesn’t mean I have to listen to you! I just thought maybe we’d be better off sticking together!

*listener leaves*

Wait! Don’t go!

*small pause*

I’m… I’m sorry. I need your help. And… and you need mine too! I have a roosting sense! I know what direction home is from here! Without me, you’re just wandering!

*listener comments*

Oh… you… don’t necessarily need to go back to the same cave, do you? So that means…

*small pause*

What about the cold? You need someone to keep you warm!

*listener denies*

You’ll manage? No wait, I..!

*small pause*

I can’t do this without you.

*listener speaks*

Hey, this isn’t a joke! I… I need you to help me. If it wasn’t for that weird bracing thing you did, I wouldn’t have even made it out of the box. I can’t get this collar thing off, and I can’t make up a plan that ends with me out of here. I know I don’t have much to offer but… please.

*listener states*

I’m sorry, what?

*listener repeats*

You’ll do it on one condition?! That’s two more conditions than acceptable!

*small pause*

But… for curiosities’ sake, what’s your condition?

*listener states*

If I want to come with you, I have to listen to everything you say. No questions asked?

*listener confirms*

But what if-?

*listener repeats*

Right, no questions asked.

*small pause*

Fine! You’ve got a deal. Let’s go.

*listener stops*

Something to do first? What?

*listener explains*

Oh, the collars. Right. So, do you have a sharp stick or..?

*listener proposes*

You want us to take off each other’s collars? I suppose that’s easier than trying to reach mine.

*listener states*

You first?! But what if you-!

*listener demands*

(groan)

No questions asked. You know, I’m already regretting agreeing to that.

*small pause*

Hold still. You know firsthand that my talons are sharp. Just let me…

[plastic slices]

There, now, my turn.

[listener coils]

I want it known, having you get your tail under my collar like this feels really weird.

*listener teases*

{flustered}

No, I don’t like it! I-!

(choke)

[plastic snaps]

*small pause*

You could have at least warned me.

*listener comments*

You’re awful, you know that?

*listener thanks*

Great. Now, how do we get back onto stable ground?

*listener states*

Carry you? But I-!

*listener stares*

(groan)

Fine! But I’m not going to be able to fly very far carrying dead weight. I hope you’ve got a plan for once we’re on the ground.

[listener coils]

Ready?

*listener confirms*

Hang on.

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1 year ago