Part 2

Context: You are the villainess Vixen, known to be able to topple empires with a simple sway of your hips. People assume a lot about you, and you're largely happy to let them. It is a lonely life, though. No one to share your riches with, no one to share a glass of wine with, not even someone to watch memes with. The only company you usually get is in the form of heroes trying to stop you. They're fun, you suppose, but not much different from normal people. Ah well. You're sure the right person will come along eventually.

Setting: Your home

Tags: [M4F][Enemies to Lovers][Nerdy Hero Speaker][Devious Villainess Listener][Hero x Villain][Nerds][Spicy][Flirting][The Real You][Inner Monologue][Comfort][Light Comedy][You're My Friend Now][CW: Spicy Themes]

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***

[Scene opens before a swanky house]

[SFX: A van pulling up and coming to a rest]

[You glance outside your home and see the tech you requested pulling up. Perfect]

OK, easy…. You’re a professional hero with over eleven certifications in Information Technology. Sure, it’s Vixen. Sure, she’s ranked Class 7. And, OK, she’s never been caught, has a death toll in the thousands, and once won a celebrity chef television series! But you’ve got this! All you have to do is use her own powers against her and-!

[SFX: A door opening]

“A-Ah! Aha, yes, hello, ma’am! Ahem. Yes, I’m the gent from the, ugh… Turbo Nerd brigade… here to take a look at your computer. May I come in?”

[Pause]

[You stand aside and let the poor sap in]

[Pause?]

“Hm? Lemonade? Oh no, thank you, I appreciate it though. Ah, this desktop here?”

[Pause]

“Great! Just going to get my anti-static band on and we’ll open her up.”

Oh geeze, OK, she’s staring at you. Staring while in a robe and sipping lemonade with that coy little smile… Shit, focus you idiot!

[SFX: SFW computer disassembly]

“Let’s see… So you said it was making a whining sound when you try and turn it on?”

[Pause]

“O-Oh? You already checked all the fans and made sure all dust had been cleared out? Heh, w-well, you’re already two or three steps! Let me put in my little PCI card here to see what code it gives me.”

[Pause?]

“Hm? Oh, you have one too but it’s broken? That’s a shame, they’re quite handy! Tell you what, I think I have one spare in my truck. It’s yours if you like?”

[<3 <3 <3]

O-Oh, she’s smiling… It’s not coy this time… Gah, focus! FOCUS!

“Hehe, it’s no problem! Honest. I always appreciate savvy end users who try and take the initiative… at least until they break their computer. As long as it’s not filled with roaches, blughh… Awful.”

[Pause]

“So, um… How did you learn so much about computers?”

[Pause]

“Ahh, you use a lot of sound and audio mixing equipment. Very cool! You must have quite the job, hm?”

[Pause]

[He laughs, a little nervous seeming]

“Sounds like a fun job! Haha, I guess this is fun, too. It’s pretty straightforward, for the most part. I like solving problems.”

[Pause]

OK, OK, easy… just unseat her sound card…

“It looks like some things weren’t seated fully. I’m going to use a sound card I have with me to test, OK?”

[Pause]

[SFX: Hot, steamy computer fixing]

“There we go! Alright, now to start her up.”

[SFX: Computer start-up noises]

“And if you’d just log in for me. I’ll look away.”

[SFX: Typing]

“Thank you. Alright, let’s pull up a random song or video to give it a test. Ahh, this song looks good.”

[Pause]

OK OK, this is it… moment of truth. This song should make her powers useless long enough that I can finally put an end to her tyranny! Just push play and…

[SFX: Jazzy dance music]

H-Huh? This isn’t my song, this is just a club remix of… oh fuck!

[The “tech” whips around to face you but it’s far too late]

Oh no she’s swaying her hips!

[You see him try and jerk forward but it’s too late. He’s mesmerized by you as you fold your arms and sway your hips only you two now]

[Pause]

Guhhh, no! NO! C’mon, we’re better than this! Don’t-!

“M-My name…? W-Who I… r-really work for…”

[He keeps fighting as best he can]

“Ma’am, please! This is quite i-inappropriate! I’m just here to fix your computer! Not that you needed me to, APPARENTLY!”

[Pause?!]

“What do you mean ‘What do I mean’?! You’re so brilliant that the only reason you didn’t find the solution is that you doubted yourself! Nngh… what is this telepathic tune you’re playing, h-huh? Sounds like fucking rave music… I like it.”

[...]

“L-Look, I know you’re Vixen! I was sent here to try and capture you peacefully!”

[....]

“...I’m sorry I deceived you. Please try and see my side here. You’re on the World’s Most Wanted list, you’re insanely difficult to overpower, and everyone in the Shadows wants something to be done. They see you as this psychopathic bimbo that loves seducing people, showing off, and accidentally causing a seventeen-mile conga line. They think you can’t be reasoned with because you’re some airheaded child… They’re wrong.”

[...?]

“Of course, I believe that… I already knew it before I came here, but this has just cemented it for me. No one understands you… I know that pain so, ah, I guess I do have personal stakes in this in terms of empathy. I am being sincere, though. I just wanted to bring you in peacefully. You don’t deserve to be put down like an animal no matter your name or their opinion of you. Honest.”

[....?]

“Pardon?”

[Pause]

“What do you do when an animal stretches in front of you? Uh, you say “Ooooh big stretch!”?”

[<3 <3 <3 Pause <3 <3 <3]

Oh my god, that was the cutest “You DO understand me!” I’ve ever heard in my entire life...

[Pause]

“Huh?”

[Pause]

“Do… I want to stay for a glass of wine? Oh, uh… Oh my… V-Vixen, that would be inappropriate, certainly? After all, I came here to arrest you…”

[Pause]

“I… do suppose I am at your mercy, at present. Um…”

Oh my God, she is giving you the opportunity of a lifetime, you idiot! She’s flirting with ME?! With ME of all heroes??? But… but we’re sworn to bring down villains. Sworn to uphold our civic duty to the ohhhh the robe has come off, OK, fuck justice, I renounce everything!

“Ahaha, ah… you… the robe… A-Ahem. Yeah, OK, sure, wine. Wine sounds nice… But you’ll consider surrendering peacefully after, right?”

[Pause]

“W-Well, that makes some sense, sure.”

[<3 <3 <3]

I’m going to die

“I’m going to die… but I’ll sit. I’ll sit.”

[You get him some wine and sit with him, rather pleased by how things have gone as you settle on the couch]

[He lets out a nervous laugh]

“Eheh! I, um… I’m glad to be spending time with you, too, Vixen! I um…”

[His voice grows softer and he smiles bashfully]

“I really am…”

[The End?]