Context: You have a bit of a reputation around the neighborhood as the "sexy older woman". You don't mind. It's sort of fun to see the younger men next door fawn over you. Especially the Oni brothers who think they can get the upper hand on you. They're so cute. You might have to teach them who's boss, however.

Setting: Home - Backyard

Tags:[MM4F][Himbo Oni Brother Speakers][Older Woman Succubus Listener][VERY Spicy][But Also Comedy][Flirting][Simping][Twist Ending][Pool Party?][CW: VERY Spicy Content]

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***

[D] = Daido

[I] = Daichi

***

[Scene opens in the backyard]

[SFX: Some muffled splashing and commotion]

[I] “No you don’t, Daido! You’re not cleaning the pool faster than I am!”

[SFX: More struggling]

[D] “HA! Can’t clean the pool if there’s no WATER!!”

[SFX: A splash and Daichi swearing]

[I] “You saucy bitch.”

[D] “You’re just mad that I make these swim trunks look good! I bet you anything that the hot lady next door is going to see these shimmering abs and be ALL over me!”

[Pause]

[I] “Uhh, doubtful. She’s a woman of class and intelligence. She’ll be eating dictionary cake off of my abs instead of salivating over yours and all the oil you put on them. It’s OLIVE oil, you idiot! It’s not sexy, it’s just going to make you tastier when a giant decides to roast you for dinner!”

[Pause]

[D] “Pfft, whatever. You watch. This time, when she walks out here, I’m going to use the sick moves I learned to flirt.”

[I] “You got those off an Oni fetish board, Daido. Those are aimed at people who already want to jump our tusks.”

[Pause]

[D] “Look, she’s an older lady, right? She’s got class, and she probably reads books and knows how to pair a wine with a steak. Right? That’s a top-tier older woman. That’s a top-tier woman in general! If you want to woo her, you gotta do it like a proper gentleman.”

[I] “What if I just want her to yank on my ear and call me a bad boy?”

[D] “Like. A. Gentleman. You gotta finesse it, bro. A lady like that deserves the respect of proper courtship!”

[SFX: A sliding door sliding open]

[The Oni brothers yelp as you saunter outside in a bikini, carrying a towel and smiling under a sunhat]

[Pause]

[I] “H-Hello, ma’am!”

[D] “Nice to see you out and about, m’lady!”

[I, muffled] “... ‘M’lady’, are you serious?!”

[D, less muffled] “I PANIC SIMPED-!”

[SFX: The Listener settling in their chair]

[The brothers poke their heads over the fence. Not really a task, both of them are easily 7’ tall]

[I] “You, uh… Is that a new bikini? I-If you don’t mind me asking!”

[Pause]

[D] “W-Well, it looks really nice on you! Very form-fitting. A-Ahem, s-so… any plans for today?”

[Pause]

[I] “Just chilling by the pool? Very cool. Mhm… Hey, um, if you need a couple of studs to clean your pool for you…?”

[Pause]

[D] “Hell yeah! Hup!”

[Daido hops the fence easily and right into the pool]

[SFX: A splash]

[I] “Dude! Ask permission first!”

[SFX: Another splash]

[I] “Oh, I just did the thing… Buhh, sorry ma’am! We’ll get to work! We’ll even flex for you!”

[How enthusiastic they are is kind of adorable. They do seem to need to stop every five minutes to briefly fight each other but are otherwise pretty happy]

[Pause?]

[D] “Lemonade? Yeah, that’d be awesome! Thanks, Miss SequesZLah’Dee!”

[...]

[I] “Huh? He called your name, Miss SequesZLah’Dee! It’s a heck of a name but kind of fun to say.”

[Pause?]

[D] “Yeah! Troy said it was your name… Is it not? Sometimes we mishear stuff. Like with Ms. Butts.”

[I] “Buntz. Ms. Buntz, bro.”

[Pause]

[They exchange looks]

[I] “Uhh, OK. We’ll try and sound it out while you get the lemonade…”

[SFX: Footsteps, the sliding door opening, and some ice cubes crackling]

[D, muffled] “OH-!”

[I, also muffled] “-MY GOD!”

[D&I, still muffled] “THAT MOTHERFU-!”

[You go back outside and the boys freeze, blushing as best you can tell]

[D] “We are SO sorry! Troy, our roommate, you know Troy. Yeah, the Orc with the Scottish Fold kitten. B-But he said that was your name!”

[Pause]

[I] “He did also say to refer to you with the term of ‘mother’, but that felt a little weird. Like, you’re not our Mom. Who’s into calling an older woman ‘mother’ anyway?”

[D] “Uhhhhh…”

[I] “Bro?”

[D, nervously] “Uhhhhhhhhhhh…”

[I, shaking his head] “Bro…”

[Pause]

[D] “Yeaaahhh, like, we’re not the smartest… Thanks for the lemonade, by the way. Y-You, um… M-Ma’am, you have an ice cube in your, u-uh… t-top… parts… Your top? With the uh… Where your chest is. Yes.”

[Pause]

[I] “Ahaha, i-it is hot, yeah… I-I MEAN THE SUN IS HOT! Yes! The sun!”

[<3]

[They stare at you, completely out of their league]

[I] “If we’re worried we should reach in and… g-get it out?”

[D] “The panic simping is coming back with a vengeance-!”

[Pause]

[You poke Daichi’s abs and he instinctively sucks in his gut]

[I] “T-Those are my abs! Um… Y-Yeah, I’m on a new lift routine. T-Think it’s been working out pretty well, ha! Haha! Wow, this lemonade is great!”

[He downs his drink while you turn to Daido]

[D] “...H-Hi. Um. Hello. Wait, no, there’s a scenario for this, give me a second! Nnghhh, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon! Ahhhhhh…. OH!”

[He turns on a sexy smirk and waggles his eyebrows]

[D] “Maybe I could help you put on some sunscreen, pretty lady?”

[<3]

[D] “Ohhh OK, you’re just going to undo your bikini tooooOOOHHHH dear!”

[Pause]

[I] “It’s her bare back, Daido, calm your navy blue tits!”

[You splay out on your chair with a smile, waiting patiently]

[Pause]

[D] “O-OK… Just, um, hold still…”

[He shakily applies sunscreen to your bare back, absolutely adorable]

[Pause <3]

[I] “W-Well, I’m glad you think we’re cute, but I doubt a pair of Oni brothers is going to rile you up. R-Respectfully, of course.”

[<3 Pause <3]

[They’re just too cute]

[I] “Here, I’ll get your legs. A-Also respectfully. Ma’am.”

[D, muffled] “Dude, be cool!”

[I, muffled] “You’re the super simp here!”

[You just can’t stand it]

[D] “M-Ma’am, you’re kind of doing a magic…?”

[I] “Oh geeze, I think she’s going to turn into a handsome prince!”

[SFX: Magical shenanigans]

[You transform before them into your true self and sit up, facing them]

[<3 <3 <3]

[The boys look at you, your horns, your tail, then back around]

[I] “Um… ma’am, you have horns now…”

[D] “And a little tail. Oh, that is a cute tail…”

[<3]

[I] “...Oh my.”

[D] “I, um… So, you’re a succubus?”

[<3]

[I] “Are… are we about to die?”

[<3 <3 <3]

[D] “Daichi?”

[I] “Y-Yeah?”

[D] “It’s been an honor lifting with you, bro.”

[I] “You too, man. You too.”

[They’re so cute <3 You’re absolutely going to ruin them]

[The End]

Note: No Onis were harmed in the making of this shitty porno parody.

Second Note: "Lol" said the Succubus. "Lmao".