Fun fact this is how I felt the one time when I went to eat at chic-fil-A. This ones pretty short, but hey its fast food.

Good to monetize and modify. as always I dig feedback!

This restaurant doesn't take tips but I do now! swing by my Ko-FI! (I want to stress that this is 100% optional and I do not require it from people that want to use my scripts. I tried to set the maximum tip at $3 but I wasn't able to do that.): https://ko-fi.com/timeraft

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Script archive: https://www.reddit.com/r/ASMRScriptHaven/comments/x9hb9v/script_archive/

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Dialogue in plain text

Sound effects in bold

Context in italics

Context that changes the audio in bold italics

A sketchy looking fast food place popped up overnight in your neighborhood. A friend of yours decided to get breakfast there and you haven't seen them since. You decide to investigate.

Door opens

A perky employee is at the register. They smile and launch into a script enthusiastically. I imagine them having either a southern accent or a Minnesota one but do whatever you feel!

Welcome to Old Whately’s super spicy chicken shack! Where the only thing better than the chicken is the food!

What can I get you today?

Oh boy, another questioner-I mean I’d be happy to answer your questions!

We’re a local chain from Carcosa Mississippi that’s launching nationwide. That's why you’ve never heard of us. We’re quite big down there though. We’re easily the second largest chicken place run by a cult.

Our founder Old Whately always dreamed that his secret recipe would eventually infiltrate unsuspecting communities nationwide. Just like all true Americans.

He was a wandering short order cook until he found religion, which inspired him to create this new restaurant. In 1993 his empty skin was found on the floor of his first restaurant. And now we respond only to the orders of a strange echoing voice that can only be heard on certain AM radio frequencies.

Yes this restaurant wasn't here yesterday, we’ve been moving into this storefront for a few weeks and now we're doing kind of a soft launch before the official grand opening. Its actually a pretty typical marketing strategy.

What do you mean the entire building wasn't here yesterday? It totally was, it was the old Wilson place. You know the house where that serial killer hid all those bodies back in the 70’s? We just renovated it!

Yep overnight renovation we have a good contractor. Wish they knew how to get rid of the ghosts though. Gets kindaaaaa spooky here on third shift.

So what can I get ya?

You’re not here to order? Why are you here then?

Looking for somebody? Who?

They a friend of yours?

Yeah somebody like that ate here earlier today. Nice guy, very tasty-tastefully dressed! Haven't seen them since then though! Yep in fact I never saw them at all! They probably never existed at all actually. Why don't you just forget all about them and order some food? What you call "mysteriously vanishing", I call "leaving early to beat traffic".

Nervous laughter

So can I get you anything?

Look I’m sorry your buddy is gone, but I don't know where they are. I’m sure they are in a better place being eternally digested by the beast that hungers just as all of us will be in the age of the jubilant banquet at the end of all eternity.

Er I mean uhhhhhhh.

Look if I spend too much time talking to you my manger is gonna take it out of my check, and I already make negative twelve an hour.

You want to speak to my manager? Listen, you have no idea how much you don't want to do that. They're kinda mean.

Ok ok yeesh don't say I didn't warn you though

They take a deep breath and begin to chant.

Their eyes roll back in their head and they begin to speak in a echoing demonic voice (honestly just do something to make the voice creepy)

YOU WISHED TO SPEAK TO ME INSECT? I HAVE NOUGHT TO SAY TO YOU! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FRIEND IS NONE OF YOUR CONCERN!

I TIRE OF THIS CONVERSATION HERETIC!!! THO TIME IS INFINITE MY PATIENCE IS NOT!!! ORDER NOW OR FACE THE JUDGMENT OF THE ONE WHO HUNGERS!!!

exhale

Phew! I hate when that happens!

You look a little gaunt after speaking to my manager. So how about some lunch?

First time here right? I recommend the number three! It's a spicy chicken sandwich, curly fries, and a Dr. Pepper! Same as every other number on the menu!

Yes every item on the menu is the same. We strive to provide the illusion of choice, just as the benevolent star spawn use their rapidly fading power in order to provide you with the illusion that any fate awaits you other than being consumed by the one who hungers

Number 832? Excellent choice! That will cost you either one childhood memory or the ability to see the color green, both if you want honey mustard.

Alright one memory it is!

Ominous wind sounds followed by a DING

Awwwww that memory was cute! I'd have held onto it personally.

I’d give you change, but all change is futile in the face of the mighty one’s all consuming maw.

Can I have a name for your order?

Demonic voice is back

FOOL YOU HAVE GIVEN ME YOUR TRUE NAME!! PREPARE TO SUFFER FOR ETERNITY AS MY SOUL SLAVE!!! NOW KNEEL BEFORE ME!! KNEEL BEFORE I THE HIGH PROPHET OF THE GREAT BEAST THAT CONSUMES THE COSMOS!! KNOW THAT YOUR LIFE IS NO LONGER YOUR OWN!! KNOW OH MORTAL-

Ope Sorry about that! I get a little too enthusiastic at my job sometimes! That was our old script! Its outdated now , The Department of Agriculture told us we can't steal souls anymore, so no worries!

Ok a spicy chicken sandwich, curly fries, and a Dr. Pepper!

Just a moment. Let me cook that right up for ya.

Demonic voice is back

OH GREAT UNSATIATED ONE THIS WANDERER HUNGERS JUST AS YOU HUNGER FOR THE SOULS OF MANKIND!!!

I BESEECH YOU!!! ALLOW YOUR HUMBLE SERVANT TO BESTOW UPON THIS VAGRANT A MINISCULE FRAGMENT OF SUSTENANCE SO THAT YOU MAY FEAST UPON THEM SEVENFOLD IN THE AGE OF THE JUBILANT BANQUET!!!

LO BRING FORTH THE BREAD OF THE SILENT HARVEST, THE MEAT OF THE BIRD THAT WAS CAST FROM THE HEAVENS, THE FRUIT OF THE LAND OF ENDLESS SUFFERING AND THE NECTAR OF ETERNAL SADNESS!!!!

Food appears in a puff of acrid black smoke

Mocking evil laughter

Perky customer service voice is back

Would you like any napkins?

-30-