Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Finale

Context: After dying due to a cruel prank, the demon Ramus appeared and offered you a deal: you let him be your boyfriend and he helps you get revenge on those that killed you. He’s taken to the role quite well and, despite his bombastic nature, you fell in love with him, but it can't last unless you get your revenge and complete the pact. Today, it's time. Time to get your revenge and cement your future with Ramus. At least, you thought it was, until Lucifer intervened.

Setting: Home/Hell

Tags: [MM4F][Strangers to Lovers][Demon Speakers][Yandere][Flirting][Established Relationship][Supernatural][Reverse Comfort][Old Traumas][Demonic Pact][Compliments][Rescue][Suddenly, Godhood][Cuddles][Action][CW: Mentions of Trauma/Violence/Panic]

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[R] = Ramus, your mischievous fiance [L] = Lucifer, King of Hell, tired of your shit

[Scene opens in your home]

[SFX: A violent struggle]

[Ramus kicks and struggles as Lucifer gets him by his collar]

[R] “NO-! Lu, c’mon, I was good! I didn’t do anything wrong!”

[L] “Exactly. You’re a demon, Ramus. Not doing mischief is against our code.”

[Ramus pauses for a second, wide-eyed]

[R] “Wh-...? You set me up!”

[Lucifer rolls his eyes and opens a Hell portal]

[L] “I am literally the devil, Ramus. Did you think I was going to honor a deal that wasn’t even signed in blood? I also don’t fucking appreciate your girlfriend blackmailing me over my son’s choice of a partner.”

[Pause]

[Ramus comes out of his stunned state and triples his efforts, kicking, clawing, and doing all he can to stay in this realm]

[R] “NO! No, please! I need her and she needs me!”

[L, with a sigh] “Ramus, stop it. You and I both know you’re a parasite and your influence over that girl has probably set her up for a lifetime of suffering. If you really love the poor woman, do the right thing and get out of her life.”

[R] “N…No, I… I was good this time… Please, please I’ll do anything, even if you just let me say goodbye!”

[Lucifer shakes his head and drags him through the portal]

[L] “That’s enough, Ramus. Have some dignity, will you?”

[No, he cannot, and continues to scream and fight as hard as possible]

[R] “BRIGHT EYES!”

[SFX: The Hell portal closing]

[Scene transitions to Hell]

[SFX: Panic, chaos]

[Lucifer drags a still struggling Ramus through the portal and pauses]

[L] “What the…? Why is everyone panicking? Hey! Asmodeus! What the fuck is going on?!”

[R] “Uh, boss… You might want to look up.”

[Lucifer does and spots you. You, who is currently floating in the air, rending space/time, and ready to end some fools]

[L] “...Ramus.”

[R] “Y-Yeah?”

[L] “...Did you teach your girlfriend Eldritch magic?”

[R] “I’ll, uh… I’ll be real with you, Lu, any time she was studying and practicing magic, I was focused on watching her.”

[L, with a shudder] “Eugh, that’s horrifyingly creepy.”

[R] “Yeah. I’m a yandere goblin, what do you want? That’s my woman up there bending space/time and having a whole ass constellation aim a giant star arrow into Hell-OH SHIT!”

[SFX: Panic and general Hell ambiance]

[L] “HOW. DID SHE LEARN. TO SHOOT AN ENTIRE. FUCKING. CONSTELLATION?!”

[R] “Just let me go with her! I guarantee she’ll stop if you just give me to her!”

[L] “Hmph, doubtful! I don’t care how powerful she is, this is MY domain and I will put an end to this, NOW!”

[Pause]

[You see, in the distance, wings like a morning star unfurl, and the light streak toward you. You raise one hand, dust and fire forming into massive storm clouds overhead]

[L] “Call your storms all you want, little girl! You won’t-... Is that, uh… Is that a vial of holy water?”

[Pause]

[L] “... Don’t you fucking dare. Don’t you dare absorb that into the storm clouds and literally reign holy water on my domain.”

[You move closer to him, still floating, reality still struggling to not break around you and get right in his face]

[Pause]

[L] “Or what? Or else I’ll damn you for all eternity! I’ll make you suffer endlessly for this foolish attitude you appear dead set on displaying before me! Demon or not, human or not, your crimes will lead you to ME!”

[Pause!]

[SFX: A massive ripple of energy and lightning]

[L] “H-Hey, let go of me! Damnit, why can’t I-?!”

[SFX: Another powerful ripple of energy and mass panic below]

[L] “...oh my god, RAMUS, YOU DENSE FUCK, YOU LET HER OBTAIN GODHOOD?!”

[R, somewhat distantly] “I told you she was smart! So smart.. So pretty…A-Ahem, uh, look. Just let me stay with her! I’ll be out of your hair and she won’t be down here about ready to END REALITY out of SPITE!”

[Lucifer looks back at you, at the black hole and storm clouds swirling violently above and the very pissed off constellation still aiming a planet-sized arrow into Hell]

[L] “...If I give you Ramus, do you promise to leave Hell be?”

[Pause]

[L] “Good. Then take the little fuck and get o- AGH!”

[You headbutt him until some blood trails down his forehead]

[L] “AGHLR, STOP HEADBUTTING ME YOU LITTLE-!”

[SFX: Papyrus unfurling and a quill scritching]

[L] “Hnngh?... Eheh… You drew up a contract… You are definitely the brains of your sick little coupling. And the brawn, apparently… Why are you even with Ramus? You could so easily rule any domain with that kind of power… So why Ramus?”

[You look to your fiance and smile]

[L] “...he came to rescue you, and you’re repaying the favor? Bleugh. Just give me the fucking contract, I can’t take this mushy shit.”

[SFX: The contract being signed]

[L] “There. Now could you please stop raining literal Hell upon my home?”

[SFX: The chaos dying down to more muted worry and relief]

[You let Lucifer go and tuck the contract away]

[L] “Thank you for not liquefying my armies. Now, kindly, take your stupid boyfriend and get the fuck out of my house.”

[You descend and Ramus all but jumps into your arms]

[R] “BRIGHT EYES! Oh, my Bright Eyes… I never thought, in a million years, you’d storm the Gates of Hell just to save me!”

[SFX: A portal opening and then closing shortly after]

[R] Oh, we’re home… Really, truly home…”

[Pause?]

[He looks at you, confused]

[R] “Am… Am I MAD that you learned Eldritch magic without telling me? HELL NO, that’s badass! You fucking played me in the most innocent, adorable way possible! “Teehee, my boyfriend doesn’t know that I’m being EXTRA nerdy”. How is that not the cutest thing ever?!”

[Pause]

[He pauses, touching under his eyes]

[R] “... I am crying, yeah. I thought I was going to lose the best thing that ever happened to me, and… and the amount of despair that hit me, knowing I’d have to go back to that… void. That nothingness… I was already planning out ways to end it.”

[You pat his back, thankful he can’t crush you with his demonic strength anymore]

[R] “...Can we order some takeout and watch cartoons, please? I… This is a lot.”

[Pause]

[R] “Thanks, Bright Eyes… Hey, real quick? If you’re gonna be a goddess and all, I’m your only worshipper, got it?”

[Pause]

[He flops on the couch but doesn’t let go of your hand]

[Pause?]

[R] “You’re a goddess, you can order takeout without needing your phone. And… I don’t want to let go… I’m scared and you’re going to have to deal with me being extra clingy for a bit.”

[You sit and cuddle up with him as he clings and shakes]

[R] “...thanks for coming to get me, Bright Eyes. And for having the stone-cold ovaries to bitch slap Lucifer over some low-level, no good demon.”

[Pause]

[R] “Pfft, you need therapy, not me… OK, maybe we both could do with some therapy before we get married, yeah?”

[Pause]

[His voice softens as you hold him, almost ashamed]

[R] “Please don’t ever leave me, OK?”

[Pause]

[R] “Thank you… I love you, Bright Eyes, and I’m going to get you the biggest fucking diamond ring. SO BIG that it’ll be a whole ass tiara! And after that, I’m going to love you so hard every day until time ends and then we can float around in space and hold hands once the Earth blows up. Or, something like that.”

[Pause]

[He giggles a little, holding you close]

[R] “I know, I know… I am a true romantic. Now hush and let me hold you while we wait for artery-clogging dinner to arrive.”

[He holds tightly to you and you let him, adrenaline still coursing through you]

[To be concluded next time]