Part 1

Context: You are the manager to the pop sensation known as L-Bomb. A band with four brothers, they've gained success and notoriety more than any other. The only downside is that they're vampires of the emotional variety, and get their strength from being worshiped and loved. They see humans as little more than food, not seeming to realize that the one person they truly do love, you, falls under that definition. Things came to a head and you quit, despite the brothers pleading for you not to. You need to think about you, for now, but... will they let you?

Setting: A hotel cafe

Tags: [MMMM4A][Vampire Brother Speakers][Human Listener][Odd Polycule][Light Comedy][Twins][Delinquents][Soft Boy][Emotional Vampires][Worship][Only Loves the Listener][Definitely Yandere][Tone Deaf][Argument][Leaving][Angst][CW: Manipulation/Implied Violence]

Usage: You may tweak or record this script. Please credit me if you use this script in any of your projects. Gender-flipping is OK! Changing the title is OK! If you would like to use this script for a paywalled recording please DM me first. Thank you :3

[O] = Oliver [Li] = Liam [Lo] = Logan [N] = Noah

[Scene opens in a classy hotel]

[SFX: Distant traffic]

[You shower, dress and head out into the city. It’s just turning to evening and you head out to the hotel’s cafe to work. As you step inside, a familiar face greets you:]

[N] “Hi, welcome to-... uh. This cafe! In this hotel! This fancy, fancy, hotel, haha. Wow, you must have a killer job to stay here, right? Haha, I kid, I kid, but man, your employer must think the WORLD of you!”

[Pause]

[The young man’s smile wanes for a moment]

“O-Oh, you’re… between jobs. My bad, my bad. What can I get you, fellow patron?”

[...]

[N] “A cappuccino! Totally, totally, what the Hell is that…. Ahaha! No big deal, you go ahead and have a seat, I’ll get it!”

[Pause]

[Noah’s face continues to pale as you sit and watch him absolutely massacre a cappuccino]

[N] “A-Ahahaha, yep! Risotto! I-I mean ristretto! Mmhm!”

[SFX: Noah faffing about while you get on your laptop so typing and then a cup being set down]

[N] “There you are, beautiful! One L-Bomb made with extra love!”

[Pause]

[N] “Wait, our coffee drink wasn’t a cappuccino? Oh fuck’s sake, that’s right, it was premium espresso! Godamnit, stupid forgetful memory… Well, it’s still made with lots and lots of obsessive, true love.”

[You feign a sip from the coffee, watching him watch you expectantly]

[N] “So…how is it?”

[Pause]

[He turns red and his terrible liar mechanism kicks in]

[N] “Whaaaaat? A sleeping potion? Who would… I mean, wow, those aren’t real, you silly sweetie! No, no, that’s just regular old coffee made with love.”

[Pause]

[N] “Good because you’re deathly allergic to sleeping potions? Ah. Ahh! AHHH!!!”

[SFX: The cup being knocked from your hand]

[N] “NO, FORGIVE ME, MY LOVE! I won’t let you die, not ever! I… I… Ooh, you have your victory smirk on. You lying liar!”

[You simply smile while a woman marches up to him and prods his shoulder]

[N] “Ugh, what, ma’am? You want to talk to my manager about my attitude???”

[You see his eyes turn murderous and try to grab his hand but he wrenches toward the woman]

[N] “Do I know who you are?! Bitch, do you know who I am, you miserable, wrinkled old TURD of a human being?! I’m Noah fucking Wylde, BITCH, now SIT DOWN and SHUT UP!”

[SFX: Magical shenanigans and a thud]

[Pause!]

[Noah calms immediately when you put your hand on his]

[N] “...I’m god, as far as you’re concerned, you old toad, and not a merciful one. Don’t talk to me or my manager EVER again!”

[Pause!]

[N] “Huh? Ohh, you’re talking to me! Yes yes yes, whatever you want, sweetie!”

[You lay into him, as much as it hurts to see his heart break]

[N] “... I’m not a god, I’m Noah, and that doesn’t give me the right to exert my authority over others to get what I want, just like this lady. Making cute, grandiose show of affection won’t solve the problems you have with us and it just proves that our affections are based on what we need from you versus what you need from us…”

[He visibly deflates]

[N] “B-But we… We do love you. Right, boys?”

[Pause]

[Liam and Logan poke their heads out of a very smoky kitchen. Oli rips off his fake mustache and wobbles over in a ridiculously sized trench coat]

[O] “S-Surprise! I was the man in the trench coat!”

[Li] “And Logan and I took the kitchen!”

[Lo, distantly] “EVERYTHING IS STILL ON FIRE!”

[You sigh and grab the fire extinguisher, dealing with the kitchen fire while Liam and Logan panic]

[SFX: A fire extinguisher going off]

[Lo, still distantly] “Oh, Mana fixed it, nevermind!”

[Li] “Yaaaay Mana, woo! Best manager!”

[Pause!]

[All of them pout as you remind them, none-too-gently, that you’re not their manager anymore]

[Lo] “We know you said you quit… buuuuttt we also remember that you can’t do that because you have a contract with us!”

[Pause]

[Li] “At-will contract? What the Hell does that mean?”

[O] “I-It means that we can let them go at any time but they can also leave at any time…”

[Li] “Who’s the fucking idiot that had that contract drawn up?!”

[N] “YOU, Liam!”

[Pause]

[N] “Where’s our current manager? Um… Probably trying to control this last press debacle?”

[Pause?!]

[O, giggling] “I said a swear on live TV!”

[Pause????]

[O] “A swear! Not a slur. I said the “C word”, heeheehee. Now all the magazines are wondering if I’m the bad boy of the band instead of Noah!”

[N, grumbling] “I’m gonna have to jump a fucking shark tank on my motorcycle now. Ugghhh, and they’ll want me to do it on that stupid gamer bike that’s got neon green LEDs all across it.”

[Pause]

[N] “Oh, right, that one hasn’t passed the safety inspection so I have that older model. Right. Thanks, Mana.”

[Pause]

[N] “Ughhh, yes, I’ll wear a damned helmet…. Thanks for worrying about my safety.”

[O] “W-Well, it was scary that time y-you had to g-go to the hospital a-after the pyrotechnics incident… Mana stayed with you while we cooled off the paparazzi, w-we were scared for days…”

[N] “...I don’t think I ever thanked you for that. You brought me that soup I liked five days in a row and had to sneak out to do it so the paparazzi didn’t mess with you… Thank you, Mana.”

[Pause]

[Lo] “...Yeah, I guess that’s what family does for each other.”

[Pause]

[O] “But when a family is toxic… sometimes you have to leave it to take care of yourself?”

[Li, after a pause] “Psshh, sounds dumb to me. We’ve stuck by each other’s sides for hundreds and hundreds of years, and it’s worked great!”

[...]

[Lo] “...Liam, I am going to take that boxing contract, challenge you to a fight in front of millions of people, and then KICK YOUR ASS in front of all those people for being such an unbelievable idiot!”

[You stand and pack your laptop up while they argue]

[Pause]

[O] “W-Wait, Mana! Don’t… W-We don’t know what to do without you!”

[Pause]

[N] “But we DON’T just want you around when you can help us!”

[Pause!!]

[The cafe goes quiet]

[Lo] “W-We’re…we’re not literally doing it right now! Are we?”

[N] “Logan!”

[Pause]

[All four of them stop and look at you like wounded puppies]

[O] “W-We can give you space! W-We can totally manage that!”

[Li] “We can?”

[N] “LIAM!!!”

[You leave while they’re busy arguing and hope to find a cafe that doesn’t make their coffee with quite so much toxic love]

[SFX: Footsteps and the argument growing more distant]

[To be continued]

Note: Whoops, didn't mean to post this now. Ah well, fuck it. Enjoy!