Google Docs ~ ScriptBin

All use is encouraged. You can edit. You can paywall. You can monetize. You can use u/Yan-Con's 100 Writing Prompts, #109 to make this script! Go nuts! Credit SplashiestPig.

Key:

( ) = Verbal Sound Effect

[ ] = Added Sound Effect

* * = Silent Insert

{ } = Line Delivery

As Luck Would Have It

[knock on door]

*small pause*

[door opens]

{flamboyant}

Step right up for a good-fashioned game of Follow The Lady! The cards spin and shuffle, but where has the Lady gone?

*small pause*

I’m actually right behind you, hotshot.

*listener turns*

(chuckle)

I love a good three-card monte. Now, are you ready to pay up, hot stuff?

*listener speaks*

Ooh, someone wants another round, don’t they? Well, tell you what. Why don’t you close that door and we can touch wood?

*listener comments*

Darling, as cute as you look when you’re confused, I didn’t come here to run laps. Close the door, and let’s get down to brass tacks.

[door closes]

Thanks love. I’d hate to tete a tete with prying eyes.

*listener asks*

Oh, my little ace, don’t play coy. You know exactly why I’m here.

*listener denies*

No? You want me to believe you haven’t the foggiest idea of what’s happening? Come now, darling, we both know you’re a bit more clever than that.

*listener speaks*

Please, you can’t tell me you haven’t noticed the changes!

*listener asks*

The changes, my little star. You didn’t think all of this was just the luck of the draw, did you?

*listener questions*

This! All of this! The free samples, the contests, the lotteries! The simple fact that you’ve hit a darn good streak of luck!

*listener asks*

What about it? Darling, don’t you get it? That’s all been me. You’ve fallen into fortune with Lady Luck, and I’ve ensured you had the time of your life!

*listener comments*

Come on, Ace. Open your eyes. No one wins six lotteries in a row without a little help. I’ve been at your side for weeks now. Whispering lucky numbers in your ear. Making sure coins land the right way up. I’ve even pulled a few strings with Fate to make sure any pesky ailments stay away.

*listener asks*

Why? Now I think that’s clearer than a crystal, hot stuff. I’m doing this because I like you.

*listener speaks*

Really truly!

*listener states*

Darling, don’t think about it too hard. You caught my eye, I showed you everything I can offer, and now I’m here to match pairs. So pucker up, sweetheart.

(kiss)

Honey. If you pull away like that, I might get the wrong idea!

*listener speaks*

Oh, don’t be like that! You’ve been dealt a soft sixteen, and you’re trying to stick! You’ve got to hit low and let it ride!

*listener comments*

Darling, we don’t need to take it slow. You love the life I provide, and I love you. We’re belts and suspenders! An Ace and a ten! We need each other.

*listener speaks*

Come on, hot stuff! You know you want me! It’s not like you’ve got any other options!

*listener questions*

(chuckle)

You hadn’t put that one together yet, had you? Well then darling, let me reveal a little footnote in my machinations.

*small pause*

You’ve got everything a mortal could dream of. Money, influence, fame. But you may have noticed you’re missing one little detail.

*small pause*

Isn’t odd how with all this luck, you can’t seem to score the companionship of the fairer sex? Isn’t it weird that when relatives and friends came out of the woodwork for your fortune, not a single dame was among the group? Hell, even your own mother stopped calling on weekends! I’ll admit, she probably wasn’t a threat, but I’m not one to leave bases uncovered.

*listener alludes*

I’m Lady Luck, darling. Miss-Fortune. I can’t make anyone disappear per se, but I can certainly keep the hussies off you.

*listener asks*

Oh, you know. A phone line falls and you miss a few calls, everyone who approaches you is suddenly having a terrible hair day, and then the very occasional traffic light malfunction to deal with the real contenders.

*listener states*

No, darling. It’s not murder. It’s chance. Cold, unforgiving, chance. If the chances just so happen to swing in my direction, that’s hardly my fault, right?

*listener contends*

Relax, ace. No one you know is dead. In fact, if they’re lucky, everyone who got slighted will make a full recovery and more. But both of us know that whether they’re lucky or not, is hardly random.

*listener questions*

That’s exactly what I’m saying, darling. This fortune doesn’t have to stop with you. Your family, your friends, coworkers, bosses, even complete strangers if you wanted. I could keep them all riding high, or I could lock them behind the eight ball. And all of that would be entirely up to you!

*listener speaks*

I mean it, hotshot. I yank on a few threads and you’re President of the United States. Supreme Chancellor of Earth. Exalted Ruler Of The Milky Way! I can topple governments, I can give you revenge on everyone who ever wronged you, or I can just make sure all your pizza deliveries arrive a few minutes earlier than expected. And all you have to do, is be with me.

*listener thinks*

What’s with that look in your eyes, sweetie? You should be gleaming, not gloomy!

*small pause*

Do you not believe me? Because I promise, everything I said has been as true as a wet fish! You’ve got that je ne sais quoi. You excite me. And I do love to be excited.

*small pause*

Do you think I can’t do it? Can’t change everything for you? Because I’ve done a lot more for people who were worth a lot less. Ever heard of Alexander The Great? Fu Hao? Elvis Presley? None of them had half of what I see in you, and I took them to the moon and back. Imagine what I’d do to keep you in my corner.

*listener objects*

Darling, I’m getting tired of this routine. You belong with me. I’ve done all of this to show you that! Is there something wrong? Is it the way I look? Because I can change that! I’m luck itself, I’m not bound to a single human form.

*listener insists*

Hotshot. I’m not going another round at this. You’re going to tell me what’s what right now.

*listener blurts*

Really? Is that how it is?

*listener speaks*

Oh, of course! You just aren’t ready for something like that! No worries.

*listener asks*

No, it’s fine! In fact, it’s better than fine! I’m an ethereal concept. I’ve got nothing but time. If you don’t want me, then I’ll just go. An old twenty-three skidoo.

*listener asks*

I mean it. It’s peachy. I’ll go!

*small pause*

And take all my luck with me, of course.

*listener asks*

What? Oh, that little chestnut. Yes. If I’m not staying, then I can hardly keep my blessings around, now can I? But I’m sure you’ll be fine! You’ve made millions, and you’ve got this house, and all those fancy doo-dads. You’ve got plenty of fortune to coast on!

*small pause*

Oh, wait. That would go with me too, wouldn’t it?

*listener questions*

No, it’s nothing serious. It’s just… well it’s a tendency this old universe seems to have. A sort of… balance. When I leave, and all my abnormally good luck leaves with me, you won’t just go back to being normal. The sudden change will send you catapulting to the Flying Dutchmen. Left out to dry. Avoir La Poisse!

*small pause*

But I’m sure you’ll be fine! It’s not like you rely on tons of risky things every day! Except, you know… most of your kitchen appliances, your car, and the startling number of airplanes that fly overhead.

*listener speaks*

What? Me? Give you bad luck? No! Never! If I was trying to keep you on the rocks, you’d know. But, if all of a sudden your friends and family fall victim to a lot of freak accidents, you’ll know why.

*listener claims*

Oh, darling, I’m not threatening you! I’m just stating a fact! Like how thanks to my control over probability, I could easily cause a few cells to go haywire and give someone cancer. Or how if you were unlucky enough, all your atoms could line up just so, and you could fall through the floor. But you don’t have to worry about any of that! I don’t want to kill you! It’s everyone around you that should be scared.

*small pause*

Say, how many people do you think would have to drop dead near you before your government realized you were the problem?

*listener states*

You’re right, darling. I wouldn’t let them kill you. But there’s a big difference between death and constant, excruciating pain.

*listener speaks*

No! I’m not saying I’d cause anything! It’s just that, random chance can be oh, so cruel. And I can’t be expected to save some random human from their poor circumstance.

*small pause*

But… if we were together… then I could protect you. I could keep you safe.

*small pause*

But you don’t want that! You want me to go! So, I won’t waste any more of your time.

*listener speaks*

Oh, what’s that?

*listener repeats*

Hm, there must be something up with my ears, I can’t quite hear you.

*listener begs*

Why don’t you say that one more time? Tell me, that you’re mine.

*listener states*

I knew you’d come around hotshot. Now, why don’t we head to your room? I haven’t had a good horizontal tango in years, but tonight, I’m feeling lucky.