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Key:

( ) = Verbal Sound Effect

[ ] = Added Sound Effect

* * = Silent Insert

{ } = Line Delivery

/ \ = Author’s Note

Thought, But Not Herd

/The Majority Of This Script Is An Internal Monologue, However, A Few Lines Are Spoken Within Universe. A Means Of Differentiation Is Advised, But Not Required.\

They’re here! They’re here! They look so good! No! Look away! Play it cool. Stay casual.

*small pause*

Focus. Stay calm. You’re not looking at them, you’re not thinking about them, you’re just a random person, in a library, not thinking about anything except this book.

*small pause*

Oh, but they’re actually here! The wolf of my dreams! No! You can’t think things like that! They’re a fully independent person, who probably doesn’t even notice you. They’re a cool, sexy, werewolf and you’re a sheep. They aren’t coming to this library for you!

*small pause*Right. They’re just a patron at this public establishment. They just want a book. They aren’t like you. They don’t have a crush on anyone here, and they definitely don’t come here every day for a chance to see anyone. They’re just… cool.

*small pause*

I can play it cool. It’s fine. I don’t need to stare, or glance, or even think about their toothy smile, or the way their eyes dart around a page, or the way their hair looks really smooth, but still fluffy…

*small pause*

Ah! I’m doing it again! Bad! Stop! Read your book, and don’t think about them!

*small pause*

Yes, good idea. Reading the book. Chapter One. Something something, the person’s name and something, long word…

*small pause*

That’s not good.

*small pause*

Come on, |name|. Focus! We can put this crush away for ten minutes, can’t we? Long enough to actually read what this book is saying?

*small pause*

I can. I can do it. I can. I can-’t. Goddess above please, give me strength!

*small pause*

Focus. Read the book. If you read a couple of pages, you can look at them as a treat.

*small pause*

Wait, am I using a carrot on a string tactic on myself?

*small pause*

Who cares! We need it. One page, and we can look at them again. Focus.

*small pause*

The noble hero crossed the treacherous waters, and scaled the tower against the rushing winds. Determined, they pushed forward, until they reached the fair noble’s chambers. Inside, lay the heir to the empire, but they were not as they appeared. The witch’s magic had left them with an insatiable thirst. “Hero”, the royal uttered, “I thank you for your efforts, but you must go! This tower is not a prison, it is a ward. My shackles lay inside my mind, not on my wrists.” The hero denied the royal. Insisting that they could help. “I’m sorry, noble knight.” said the royal, “But my curse is unmanageable. These chains keep it suppressed, but their magic would be broken if they were removed. You cannot save me!” The hero, remembering the King’s words, knew that the heir wasn’t in their right mind. Surely, these warnings were a spell, engrained in their mind by the evil witch. Ignoring their pleas, the hero broke the chains with a single swing, and in an instance, the royal pounced on them. With newfound confidence, the royal spoke again. “Oh, hero. I can’t thank you enough for breaking those chains. I had been stuck inside that prude for so long.” The hero began to speak, but the royal cut them off. “Uh, uh, uh. You were warned, hero. And now that I’m here to play, I care not for talk. You rescued me, and I intend to show you my gratitude.” With that, the royal began to undress?

*small pause*Oh, goddess. Is this erotica? When I grabbed a book, I grabbed smut? Goddess please, this isn’t funny. It was in the fantasy section! I didn’t think I needed to check for an eighteen-plus tag on the back!

*small pause*

Does anyone know? Please, tell me no one knows!

*small pause*

They’re all looking at me! No, they aren’t that’s just paranoia. But what if it isn’t? What if they all think I’m some slutty sheep who comes to libraries to parade myself to the world?

*small pause*

Okay, that one is probably just paranoia. I don’t think anyone comes to libraries to hook up.

*small pause*

Wait, is coming here to watch my wolf technically coming to a library to hook up?

*small pause*

No. No, it’s… it’s different! Because I’m not here to get laid. I mean, I bet it’s amazing. Like, look at them! They’re fluffy, and soft, and they could totally fold me in half! Ooh, and if it was a full moon, we could do some really fun hunting stuff…

*small pause*

Hey! Bad brain! Don’t be lewd! I’m not in this to shake sheets. I love them.

*small pause*

Wait, that’s not better, is it? I’ve literally never spoken to them.

*small pause*

But, I have watched them! So it’s… Oh, wow. I’m a creep. I need to think about something else! Like reading this book, no wait, this is still erotica.

*small pause*

Okay, let’s refocus. We don’t need to be all panicked, because this is justified. Right? I can totally justify all this to myself! Because I just came here for the books! I just really like reading!

*small pause*

Okay, that’s a blatant lie. Well, I do like reading but, I don’t think they publish AO3 here, so that’s not really a good shield.

*small pause*

Could I tell them that’s why I’m here? Is that plausible?

*small pause*

Duh, |name|. Saying you’re in a library because you like reading is very plausible. That’s the whole point! No one else comes to libraries to stalk the wolves.

(chuckle)

A sheep stalking a wolf. That’s pretty funny.

*small pause*

Wait, is it funny or am I coping with humor?

*small pause*

Don’t think about that, you won’t like where it leads. Let’s just think about…

*small pause*

Fine! We can think about them! I did technically read a page so… I deserve this!

*small pause*

Okay. Where did they go? Ooh! There they are! They… I think they’re looking for something?

*small pause*

Wow, why is watching them look at books so hot! It’s like they’re hunting but… for knowledge! Double whammy!

*small pause*I don’t know which is worse. The fact that I’m back to being horny, or that I just thought the words, “double whammy”.

*small pause*

Probably the latter. I should have known that when I started saying that ironically, it would just be a matter of time before I genuinely meant it.

*small pause*

Just don’t think about that too hard! No one heard that, so there’s nothing to be ashamed of. That was a completely internal statement, that no one ever has to know I thought.

*small pause*

Wait, did I move my lips when I said it? Because the more I think about it, the more it feels like I randomly said, “Double Whammy” out loud, and then went back to thinking.

*small pause*

Wait! Have I been talking this whole time?!

*small pause*

Okay. We’re good. My mouth isn’t moving, so all of this is entirely safe. No one will ever know.

*small pause*

Except, someone might have seen me make a shocked expression, touch my mouth, and then visibly calm down. And they might have noticed that I haven’t looked at this book in a while.

*small pause*

I should probably read another page. Nope! Don’t do that! I should look at my wolf again! I didn’t get to see much of them before I got distracted.

*small pause*

Hey, where did they get off to?

*small pause*

Oh goddess, did they leave when I wasn’t looking?

*small pause*

Shoot. I love seeing their tail swing when they go down the stairs!

*small pause*

Wait, when I stare at their tail, it probably looks like…

*small pause*

Don’t think about that! You are not a pervert. You are an innocent little sheep, who’s in love with a strong, probably really smart, hot, wolf you’ve never spoken to! It’s not like-

{outloud}

(yelp)

*small pause*

Goddess help me! It’s them. And I just yelped because they touched my shoulder.

*small pause*

Wait, that was an upward inflection. They just asked a question, and you weren’t paying attention! And now you’re sitting in silence for too long. Say something.

{outloud}

I’m sorry, I get a little spaced out when I read a good book! What did you just say?

*listener speaks*

Oh, that’s not good. When they were looking around, they were looking for this book? Do I have the only copy of this in the whole library? Wait, why were they looking for erotica? And how can they be confident enough to ask a stranger to hand them smut?

*small pause*

Wait! This is good! They’re comfortable asking because they think we both like this! Common ground! Yay!

*small pause*

Maybe it’s not so great that our common ground is something I picked up on accident but, I can work with this! I like fanfics, and this is pretty much the same thing, right?

*small pause*Wait, I haven’t responded in a bit. I need to say something.

{outloud}

This book? Oh, I just picked it up. I don’t normally read this kind of thing.

*small pause*I really hope that sounds like, “I’m new to the community and want a guide” and not “This is weird and you’re weird for liking it.”

*listener speaks*

{outloud}

Oh, it’s a sequel, is it? Well, I um… I suppose that means I should go find the first one!

*small pause*

That was the most stilted, robotic thing you’ve ever said in your life! You’re running this for us!

*listener speaks*

{outloud}

You just finished the first one? That’s great! We can swap!

*small pause*

Okay. Time to make our move! Use all the romance points we’ve been saving up and say something that’ll keep this interaction going before they hand us the book and leave!

{outloud}

Hey, I’m actually planning to go soon. Would you like to come to the librarian with me so we can check both books out?

*small pause*

No! You idiot! They’re just going to hand you the book and let you check out alone! And when you check out, you have to leave! You spoke yourself into a corner!

*small pause*

Oh my goddess. They’re smiling. And saying something vaguely supportive? Why can’t I hear them? Come on, brain, focus! I know that them being this close to them is hard, but we cannot fumble this now!

{outloud}

Yeah, that sounds great!

*small pause*

I have no idea what I just agreed to. Please be something good and not, “Let’s swap books and never speak again.”

*small pause*

Wait, what are they doing with that paper?

*small pause*

Oh Goddess. Oh goddess thank you for this blessing! They’re writing their phone number! At least, I assume it’s their phone number.

*small pause*

Wow, I really wish I knew what they said. Because I have no idea why they would offer up a phone number this early. Did I join a bookclub? An erotic bookclub? That might be fun. Wait, no it wouldn’t be, I can’t talk about smut with other real people! Over the internet is one thing, but face to face?

*small pause*Don’t think about that. Think about… how that area code isn’t local! So it’s probably not a pizza place or something. Not that I could think of a reason why someone would go out of their way to offer up the phone number of a business, but, nice to cover my bases.

*small pause*They’re almost done! I probably have to respond when they hand it to me, don’t I? I’ll just, say something vague.

{outloud}

Thanks! Do you want to head to the check, now?

*small pause*

They said yes! Which means I get to walk next to them! Ooh, and maybe we’ll hold hands!

*small pause*

Wait, that’d be weird. I don’t even know their name.

*small pause*

Oh goddess. Did they say their name when I wasn’t listening?

*small pause*

Ignore that! It’ll come up again. Hopefully.

*small pause*

They’re moving! Which means I should move too! Oh, and if I play my cards right, maybe I’ll be able to smell them!

*small pause*That’s creepy. Don’t think that.

*small pause*

Come on, they’re so dreamy! And with those wolf senses, they can definitely smell me, so it’s fair!

*small pause*

I did put on deodorant this morning, right?

*small pause*

Yeah! I definitely did! Even if I can’t really remember.

*small pause*

I don’t stink, right?

*small pause*

Maybe I could pass a skunk! Wait no, I can’t start lying to someone that I want a long-term relationship with.

*small pause*

Then again, how hard would it be to fake being a skunk forever?

*small pause*

Okay, this train of thought is going off the rails. I am officially shutting this thing down. For the next few minutes, we are going to focus, and listen, and do our best not to screw this up. Got it? Good. Now, stop thinking.

*pause*

Their ears look really cute.

*small pause*

Oh, mutton chops.