Google Docs ~ ScriptBin

All use is encouraged. You can edit. You can paywall. You can monetize. You can use this script to sow turmoil for your amusement! Go nuts! Credit SplashiestPig.

|Hi! This Is An Extra Message From Me, SplashiestPig!|

|There Are Two Versions Of This Script. One, The Canon Version, Where All Of Speakers Accusations Are True, The Listener Is A Manipulative Kitsune, And They Brainwash Speaker

: OR :

One Where The Story Ends A Little Sooner, No Magic Is Cited, And The Listener Is Either A Genuinely Good Person, Or Just A Manipulative Human, Which Is Left Ambiguous.

I Don't Think The No Magic Version Is Very Good, Because It's Basically Just Speaker Berating Listener For Twelve-Hundred Words, Then Leaving, But I Wrote It, So I'm Posting It. If You Like It, Be My Guest. Google Docs ~ ScriptBin

Otherwise, You Can Get Ready To Sit Back And Enjoy The Brainwashing Of The Last Person To Oppose Listener|

​

Key:

( ) = Verbal Sound Effect

[ ] = Added Sound Effect

* * = Silent Insert

{ } = Line Delivery

Overtime Magic

[door opens]

You’re late.

*listener speaks*

Caught up in a meeting? Sure. Now, would you please get over here? We’ve got to respread the budget by Thursday, and I’d rather not take too many more unpaid overtimes.

*pause*

What’s up with your keyboard?

*listener comments*

Really? That’s what passes for ergonomics? I don’t think splitting something in half really boosts the function.

*listener states*

Oh, it doesn’t strain your wrist so much?

(scoff)

{quietly}

Like you’ve ever done enough work to strain something.

*pause*

Are you still sure about this background design? I don’t know if the board will appreciate anything besides black text on white background.

*listener responds*

{mockingly}

ViSuAl CoNtRaSt ImPrOvEs ReAdAbIlItY.

Like they care about reading this thing. We both know they’re just going to skip to Annual Total and be done with it.

*listener speaks*

You’ve just got an answer for everything, don’t you?

*listener responds*

Well isn’t that wonderful?

*pause*

Hey, I made another look-through on the numbers. Your sections are missing a few thousand dollars. What gives?

*listener states*

You really expect me to believe that? You planned to petition the board to give our department a ten-cent raise?

*listener confirms*

(snort)

Like you care that much. You know, if you get caught skimming off the top, the court case is going to cost more than your hair.

*listener denies*

Please, you don’t have to play that card with me. I know it’s all an act.

*listener asks*

Everything. Your smile, your “friendships”, the way you always dress kinda warm and fun but not in an unprofessional way. I see through all that.

*listener questions*

Oh god, just drop the act for ten seconds! It must be hard acting so perfect all the time. Pretending to like everyone here. Just stop!

*listener asserts*

Please. I know you don’t actually care about everyone. In fact, I don’t know how everyone doesn’t see it! All your comments are so superficial!

*small pause*

{mockingly}

Gloria, I’m so sorry your goldfish died.

Don’t worry Samuel, you can move on after the divorce.

Oh, it’s nothing Sally, I’d shave my head for cancer solidarity anytime!

It’s all just an act to make sure everyone likes you!

*listener denies*

Don’t act all hurt. It’s not going to work on me. Just because you’ve got everyone else under your weird spell, doesn’t mean you can tear up a little and make me feel bad!

*listener claims*

Nope. I’m not falling for that garbage. First, you’re taking the high road, then you forgive me, we make up, and before I know it, I’m carrying your workload while you go burn vacation days. Which, I want you to know, I know you shouldn’t have that many of.

*listener shakes*

Oh, come off it. Your, I’m just a good person who wants people to be happy shtick, is so cliche! Real people don’t act like that!

*listener speaks*

I’m sure about that one. I’ve seen every little detail. The way you grimace a little when people walk away. That subtle tick when people come to you with a problem. And then typing! You click and clack so furiously, it’s obvious you’ve got some repressed anger or something.

*listener asks*

Well it’s… it’s not that I’ve been watching you, per se. You’re just in the middle of everything! Talking to coworkers, the bosses, hell, I think I’ve seen you consoling the fish at the front desk! You’re a twenty-four-seven of shoving your good nature in everyone’s faces!

*listener sobs*

And now the waterworks. Like you’ve got a heart somewhere beneath all those walls. Why don’t you just wipe off the tears, stop ruining the make-up I know you wear, and admit you’ve been cruising on the goodwill and empathetic tendencies of your fellow workers?

*listener wails*

Oh, I’m sure. I’ve got it all wrong, and I’m a big meanie, and I’m making the office sweetheart cry.

*small pause*

That and sixty bucks will get you some more overpriced foundation to give you that, simple country folk coming to the big city, look.

*small pause*God, you just don’t stop, do you? It’s been like, fifteen seconds maybe, and you’re still going strong! How do you get your tear ducts to cooperate like this?

*listener insists*

Ooh, and great job choking through the sobs. I’ve got to admit, a small base part of me is really getting thrown through the wringer right now. If I wasn’t aware of the whole trick, this would definitely be working on me.

*listener speaks*

Yeah yeah, drama queen. Just get it all out. Even within this narrative, you’ve got to stop crying eventually.

*small pause*

Fine. Commit to the bit. See if I care. I’ll just do more work, alone, proving everything I said about your manipulative tendencies.

*pause*

There. I finished my sections.

*listener looks*

Wow, you’re still going! All, red-eyed and pitiful looking. It’s depressing honestly.

*listener asks*

Why do I hate you? I think we’ve been over most of that. You’re a two-faced scoundrel. You pretend to be perfect. You’re probably sleeping with one of the higher-ups. And I’m pretty sure I’ve caught you doing some ritualistic stuff with those scribbles on your papers.

*listener states*

Yep. I totally believe you. You don’t do any of those things. You’re just a unicorn of a person, and we’re lucky to be in your presence.

*listener states*

It’s not what you said, but it’s what you meant! I can read through the subtext, I’m not stupid.

*listener speaks*

Wow, incredible emotional leap, right there. Obviously, I don’t think you're stupid. I’m accusing you of being a manipulative mastermind.

*listener continues*

No, I don’t want you to die! I never brought up anything even close to that! I just think you ought to come clean to everyone.

*listener insists*

And now we’re back to square one. Denial. I’ve got to say, you’ve got your routine down pat. Almost flawless.

*listener questions*

Yes, I did say almost. Because even if I ignore your tells, and your obvious facade, there’s still one problem within your narrative.

*listener asks*

You’re incredibly nice to everyone, except me. When we’re alone, you talk quieter, you can’t make eye contact for too long, and you do this weird thing with your body language. It’s like you were trying to get me to accuse you.

*listener blurts*

You… you act like that because… you like me?

*small pause*

Like I believe that.

*listener speaks*

No. You don’t have a crush on me! That’d be silly, and childish and… really… No! I am not falling for that!

*listener states*

It is a trick! All the looks and… the offers to go somewhere more private and… when you volunteered for this overtime…

*small pause*

Oh no.

*listener speaks*

No! I don’t… believe you I just… I never really thought about it from this angle.

*small pause*Wait, this almost got to me! You dangled the bait right there, but I know there’s a hook!

You probably just recognized that I was a naturally distrustful person, so you cooked up this elaborate plan to conjure an office romance, redeem the rude person in the eyes of your coworkers, and capitalize on an unprecedented amount of goodwill! You don’t care about me!

*listener speaks*

Nope! Not falling for it! And stop looking at me with those doe eyes! I know you’re not real!

*small pause*

I’m leaving! I finished my work, and I’m going home! Feel free to stew in your sadness for however long it takes to finish your part of the budget.

[door opens]

*listener comments*

Yes! I’m leaving! I just need to…

*small pause*

{quietly}

Why aren’t I going anywhere?

*listener responds*

No! I’m not feeling guilty or anything I just-!

*small pause*

I just want to sit down next to you. No… reason.

*small pause*

No! I’m not sorry! I just… I wanted to…

*small pause*

{quietly}

What is happening to me?

*listener explains*

I’m falling under your… No! That’s insane. I didn’t think it was possible to get dehydrated through crying but, you must be, because you’re not making any sense!

*listener speaks*

If that doesn’t make any sense, I should… Wait, brace for what?

[magic sfx]

Oh my god, your eyes! They aren’t all sobby anymore they’re… golden?

*small pause*

Wait, were you wearing clip-on tails when you walked in here? And what’s wrong with your ears?!

*listener states*

You’re a… kitsune? But those aren’t-!

*small pause*

{trailing off}Wow, your eyes. I could just… get lost… in your eyes.

*small pause*

No! I don’t know what you must have drugged me with but, this isn’t real! You aren’t magic you’re just a good liar!

*listener speaks*

I won’t accept any of this! The idea that you’re some ancient trickster that likes messing with people, is asinine. You don’t have people actually under your spell, you’re just exploiting them!

*listener confirms*

That’s… true? So, you admit it! You’re not magic, this stuff is just really good cosplay!

*listener denies*

You are a kitsune, but you don’t use your magic on the office? That takes away all the challenge?

*small pause*

No! That doesn’t make any sense! One, magic isn’t real, but even if it was, then you’re lying! You’re making me sit here! I want to leave!

*listener speaks*

Enchanting me, specifically? Because I’m not falling for the ruse? No! That can’t be…

*listener holds*

No! I won’t look into your eyes! Magic isn’t real! This is just, a really bad… dream.

*small pause*

{tranced}

I don’t remember anything that I said tonight.

*small pause*

I don’t think you’re a kitsune.

*small pause*

I don’t think you’re manipulative.

*small pause*

You confessed your crush on me.

*small pause*

I like you too.

*small pause*

I can’t wait to make my love’s life easier, in any way I can.

*small pause*

(shake awake)

Woah, I really zoned out there! Are we almost done with the report?

*listener speaks*

Just your section left? Here, why don’t I just do it? You can go home now.

*listener states*

No, I don’t mind! I want you to get your beauty rest after all!

*listener speaks*Aw, I love you too!

(kiss)

See you tomorrow, sweetheart!

*small pause*

[door opens and closes]