Part 2

Context: You came out to meet your current boyfriend at a party. You'd been feeling down lately, and had hoped he'd do something to lift your spirits. Instead, he dumped you, and now you have a long walk home on a cold night in a bad neighborhood. Nothing can improve your night, at this point. Of that, you're absolutely sure. The universe, on the other hand... might have something else planned.

Setting: The city streets/a hotel

Tags: [M4A][Strangers to ?][Bi Drunk Jock Speaker][Depressed Listener][Meet Cute][VERY Himbo][Flirting][He's A Little Dense][Talking Fate][Jacket Sharing][Soulmate Talk][Comedy][CW: Mentions of Break-Up/Abuse/Drunken Speaker]

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***

[Scene opens on the city streets at night, in a bad neighborhood]

[You walk down the sidewalk aimlessly, tears running down your cheeks, until you hear a noise nearby and jump]

[SFX: A bit of garbage shuffling and a drunken voice calling out:]

“Ooh, well, hello there, cutie pie.”

[You pause and turn to see a VERY inebriated man lying against a building]

[...?]

“Whaaaaa? I’m not dunk! I mean… I’m…not… drunk. Yeah! Hic, that one. Soooo, you come here often?”

[You glance around at the dark, dangerous neighborhood incredulously]

“No? But this demilitarized ghetto is so charming and vibrant! Look, you even get a souvenir rat!”

[He holds up a very pissed off, very fat rat]

“Wookit him, he’s widdle baby.”

[Pause]

“Hmm? Oh, no. See, I was on a tour bus for a football game here. College “pro”, quarterback - yeah, I’m “that” guy, hmhm. Anywho, the boys wanted to hit the bars, maybe pick up some ladies to enjoy while we’re in town, buuuut I’m a lightweight and I guess they dumped me here with Pickles. Pickles is the rat, by the way, aren’t you buddy? Yes, you are, tiny baby.”

[SFX: Enraged Pickles noises]

[Pause]

“Hotel…? Yeah, somewhere… I think it’s called The Fleetway? You’re really pretty, by the way.”

[You snort and help him stand, looping an arm under his]

“Ooh! Damn, you’re strong for being so much smaller than me. Just helping me right up… Hm? Oh, fine. Be free, Pickles. Live to bite another day!”

[He gently sets the rat down and it hisses before scurrying off]

“Hehe… healthiest relationship I’ve ever had. Yeah, I’m a total pushover. Too chill, I guess… I just wanted him to be happy, you know? It was my first relationship with another guy, and I guess I was kind of hoping it’d be more chill than my previous relationships, but man, he was like… ten times as demanding. Used to get so insanely jealous when I’d just talk to my own teammates… Man, fuck college, you know?”

[Pause]

“...Sorry to vent. I appreciate you listening and all, but… you look really sad. Are you OK?”

[Long Pause]

[SFX: Footsteps on a sidewalk for a bit - recommend Speaker acknowledges the Listener as they vent a few times]

“Damn… Yeah, I can see, hic, why you’d be feeling down. I can’t believe he dumped you like that at a party HE invited you to, in the dead of night, in a bad neighborhood… Man, where does this guy live, huh? I’m gonna go punch his dumb face in!”

[You can’t help but smile. This man is massive but stumbling around like a puppy post-surgery]

[Pause]

“No? I can fight drunk! I’m a CHAMPION at drunken fist style! Like, I only saw it in a fighting game, but I’m pretty sure I can whoop some ass!”

[You laugh and he smiles]

“Hehe, OK. I’ll take you laughing over whooping some ass with my mad skills. What good is being a big, dumb jock if you can't rush to the aid of beautiful strangers?”

[Pause]

“Pfft, if jocks bullied in you high school than, one: fuck them. Two, they totally were sweet on you. Trust me, we’re very simple creatures. Like…zebras…? Yeah! We run around and beat each other up and talk a lot of shit but if we see someone we like, we turn into total idiots and, like… kick them in the head… OK, metaphors aren’t my strong suit. I’m trying to sit down and read some classic, hrk, literature to figure out what the fuss is about… Reading Pride and Prejudice right now and, lemme tell you, I SERIOUSLY am sick of Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy, like, holy shit, get over yourselves, right???”

[Pause]

“Oh, that’s the point of the book? Oh. OHHH! Because they have to get over their pride and prejudice!!! Dude, I get it! Whoooaaaa! Damn, you’re so freaking smart! And you’re… um… really cute in that shirt, but it kind of looks like you’re shivering… Here, take my jacket, OK? No, honest, it’s fine… I’m not making you uncomfortable, am I?”

[Pause?]

[He shuffles out of his jacket, wearing not much else under besides a simple muscles shirt]

[SFX: The jacket rustling]

“There you go. Hm? Why did I ask if you might be uncomfortable? Well… This is gonna sound dumb, but… with how jocks tend to be dicks, I’ve met a lot of people that assumed the worst of me, or were even afraid… I’d really hate to make you uncomfortable. Aside from calling you cute, I can’t quit that.”

[Pause]

[He smiles gently]

“I’m glad you think I’m funny, hehe. It’s dumb… When the boys were working their magic at the bar, I was just sat there, wondering what it’d be like to meet the love of my life in some strange town… They’d be sweet, and funny, and really, really cute, and they’d be having a bad night and we’d find each other, and everything would just… click… That’s so corny, right? Haha… My jacket looks really good on you.”

[Pause]

[You help keep him steady as you traverse downtown]

[Recommend our boy here just sort of babbling about whatever as they walk]

[About an hour later, you stop before a fairly nice hotel and your mysterious friend pauses]

“Aww… We’re here already? Man… I was really enjoying talking to you. H-Hey, um… Do you maybe wanna come up to my room?”

[...?]

“Huh? For sexy times? Oh. OH! Oh my God, no, that’s not what I meant! I just, I dunno, I wanted to keep talking to you and maybe cuddle a…annnd I just realized how dumb that sounds, fucking Hell, I am SO sorry.”

[You pat his arm and walk him inside]

[SFX: Hotel doors opening and lobby ambiance followed by elevator noises]

“Yeah, I’m on floor twelve. Room 115, mmhm. Woogh… Everything is kind of spinning… Hey, if I barf on you but we still get together somehow, can you make it sound like a cute story for our future, theoretical kids? I reaalllly don’t want them to know that I barfed on you in a non-cute fashion…”

[You can’t help it and have to laugh into your hand as he fumbles with his card key for a bit before the door finally admits defeat]

[Pause]

“Yeah, this keycard is just butts, man… C’mon, door. C’mooonn. Dude, don’t make me look dumb in front of this cutie, OK? Like, whatever, keep your secrets, but I really want sleep! Oop! There we go. I guess ‘sleep’ was the magic word. Mmh, bed. I love you, beeed.”

[He stumbles a few feet and faceplants on the bed with a groan]

[SFX: Bed squeaks]

“Beeeeed.”

[You snort again and help him get his shoes off, getting him covered up as he half-mumbles, half-snores]

“Mmhhh… thanks, cutie. You’re a keeper, you know?”

[He passes out, immediately snoring. You get him a water bottle, set it on the nightstand, and leave your number before heading out. As you go to shut the door, you hear him mumble:]

“Goodnight, sweetie.”

[To be continued?]

Note: All himbos, only himbos.