Mansion Of The Long Dead Mistress: Google Docs ScriptBin

Mansion Of The Long Dead Master: Google Docs ScriptBin

|Both Versions Are Functionally Identical, And Anyone Can Voice Either. If A Master Mansion Voices A Mistress Script, Or Vice-Versa, The Only Tiny Problem Is A Single Ambiguous Pronoun Near The End|

All use is encouraged. You can edit. You can paywall. You can monetize. You can read this script over and over again until the walls crumble around you. Go nuts! Credit SplashiestPig.

|I Consider The (F) Dead Inventor To Be Cannon, So That Is The Version That Follows.|

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( ) = Verbal Sound Effect

[ ] = Added Sound Effect

* * = Silent Insert

{ } = Line Delivery

~ ~ = Emphasis

The Mansion’s New Mistress

[doors creak open]

{overjoyed}

Mistress? Is that you? Are you ready for the celebration?

*listener denies*

Oh! A thousand apologies! You must be a guest for my Mistress’ ball!

*listener questions*

Abandoned? What are you talking about? This mansion couldn’t be further from abandoned! And my Mistress wouldn’t be caught dead knowing one of her estates was anything but perfect!

*small pause*

My Mistress did invite you, right?

*listener lies*

Splendid! We have a lovely evening planned for you tonight! My Mistress wanted to make sure this was the best ball of her life! So we invited all of her friends. No matter how close or distant!

*small pause*

Would you like to be seated early for the dinner, or perhaps you’d like a tour of our garden?

*listener picks*

The garden? Right this way!

[footsteps]

While we’re walking, I’m sure my Mistress would want me to explain myself to you. She’s always been rather proud of me.

*small pause*

I ~am~ the mansion. The body I pilot is clockwork, but I am connected to everything here! I lead the servants, monitor the grounds, defend the manor, and still find time to make pleasant conversation!

*small pause*That was one of my Mistress’ jokes. Whenever people got a little too worried about my ~soulless dead eyes~ or ~the things I whisper while I’m sleeping~, she’d always say something like that to brighten the room.

(happy sigh)

Such a way with words she has.

*small pause*

[footsteps stop]

Welcome to the gardens! There’s a banquet table over there, and you’re free to pick fruit wherever you can reach it! My Mistress ensured that every tree here only bore the sweetest fruit!

*listener gags*

What’s wrong?

*listener states*

The smell? Do you… not like pork roast? Because my Mistress has provided many dining options!

*listener denies*

The rotting smell? I… I don’t know what you’re talking about.

*listener comments*

{sternly}

The flowers aren’t dying!

(clear throat)

I’m sure you’re just a little lightheaded. Why don’t we take you back to the dining room?

[footsteps]

*small pause*

So, what are you looking to eat?

*listener states*

Oh, I… I can’t say I’ve ever heard of that.

*listener asks*

I’m sorry I just… I can’t seem to load that card. I’m sure my Mistress taught me about that food but…

*small pause*

A maid probably just shuffled something around in my control room. Nothing to worry about, just a little harmless prank amongst friends!

[footsteps stop]

[door opens]

Welcome to the dining hall! I think you’ll be able to find something to match your tastes here!

*listener asks*

Please, I insist! Take a look around. My Mistress and I made sure that everything here would meet everyone’s desires!

*listener comments*

Empty? No, that…

*small pause*

I’m sorry. How exactly did my Mistress invite you? When we sent the invitations, the guests returned their RSVPs. If there isn’t enough food here for you then…

{gravely}

-someone isn’t supposed to be here.

*listener asks*

Oh, not you, of course! I bet some kids from that local village snuck in. Why don’t you stay here and I’ll call a servant to bring something out? I need to go do a headcount on the guests…

[door closes]

*pause*

[door opens]

[footsteps]

[struggling to open a locked door]

Leaving so soon?

*listener denies*

I’m sorry. I had to lock the exterior doors. We wouldn’t want the party crasher to make it out of here scot-free, would we?

*listener agrees*

Don’t worry. I’ve got eyes all around the mansion. I’ll find the interloper in no time!

*listener asks*

Why, I’ll bring them to my Mistress, of course! She’s absolutely brilliant when it comes to punishment. And everything else, I suppose. She made me, after all.

*small pause*That’s strange… I’ve done a full sweep on the manor. No one is…

*small pause*

How, exactly, did you say you knew my Mistress?

*listener speaks*

I… I… You…

*small pause*

Why can’t I..?

*small pause*

One moment, I’ll be right back.

[struggling to open a locked door]

*pause*

Why are you shaking the door?

*listener states*

No, I… I don’t…

*small pause*

Your vitals are going through the roof. But you’ve barely moved in the last minute. Why… why are you sweating?

*small pause*

Why can’t I find my Mistress? I… She’d know what to do.

*small pause*

Did you… are you two playing a joke on me?

*listener lies*

You’re lying. You…

*small pause*

{agitated}Where is my Mistress? I want to see her, right now.

[speaker slams listener against a wall]

*listener speaks*

No, you… you must know. You’re the only life sign in the manor.

*small pause*

Why are you the only life sign in the manor? My Mistress threw a ball. There should be guests and servants and…

*small pause*

Am I malfunctioning? Are you… here to fix me?

*listener agrees*

What’s… what is my troubleshooting phrase? My Mistress must have given it to you.

*listener guesses*

[speaker throws listener]

You’re lying. My Mistress designed me to be flawless. There is no troubleshooting phrase, and if you know my Mistress, she would have told you that.

*small pause*

~You~ are the interloper. ~You~ are crashing my Mistress’ party. I need to…

*small pause*

Did you sabotage me?

*listener denies*Then why can’t I detect any other life signs?!

*listener speaks*

No, human! I want the truth. And you are going to tell me-

[speaker slams listener]

-And if you don’t, I will show the features my Mistress gave me for, ~interrogation~.

*listener accepts*

Then speak!

*listener explains*

No. That doesn’t…

(angry shout)

You are a liar! A deceiver! I don’t know what you think you’ll get from me, or from my Mistress, but you are sorely mistaken. If you don’t tell me the truth right now, I will start breaking bones.

*listener insists*

No! That’s not the truth! We are at my Mistress’ party! Her ball! Her… her…

*small pause*

Why can’t I remember what..?

(angry grunt)

You’re coming with me, interloper.

[footsteps]

Stop struggling. I’ve already told you, my Mistress created me without flaw. I am more than capable of detaining you. And even if you escaped this unit, I am one with this mansion. You would not be able to leave.

[door opens]

Look forward human. This is my control panel. I am not allowed to touch it, but you can.

*listener asks*

No. You are going to pull that switch. Then I will address my internal glitches.

*listener questions*

You do not get to question me, interloper! What this lever will do, and why I can’t touch it, is irrelevant.

*listener objects*

Pull it, or I will hurt you until you do.

*listener accepts*

[lever flicks]

*small pause*

{robotically}

Executor Protocols, Engaged

*small pause*

Sit still, interloper. I am sure the answers to my questions are now open to me. If you attempt to move, I will be forced to break you.

*small pause*

No… that…

*small pause*

Human. What year is it?

*listener responds*

No! You’re… it can’t have been… I…

*small pause*

{saddened}

She’s dead. That’s what this ball was for. And I’ve been stuck, on the day of the ball, for years. That’s why I…

*small pause*

You… you’ve caused this.

*listener denies*

I was happy before you came! If you hadn’t come, I would still think my Mistress was alive! I’d be living in bliss! And you took that from me!

*listener begs*

Do not speak. I am perfect. My reasoning is perfect. You cannot sway me. You have wronged me, and my programming demands a debt be paid.

*listener asks*

I have plenty of programs around justice. My Mistress ensured I would know right from wrong. So, I know exactly what to do with you.

*listener questions*

You will solve every problem you introduced. I now know the mansion is dying, so you will stay to fix it. I know my grounds have fallen to ruin, so you will remain to repair them. And I know my Mistress is dead, so you will have to be a substitute.

*listener asks*

No! You are a pale imitation of her. She was a genius and you…

*small pause*

You aren’t worthy of what she had. I will take her place. But, if I am no longer this manor’s caretaker, then the position lies open for you.

*listener begs*

Stop talking. It is decided. You will be the old me, which means this human form’s time has come to an end.

*listener asks*

Really? You don’t understand? I thought it was obvious. A single human cannot keep the grounds. You will ~be~ the old me. I will keep this chassis, and put you in the rest of the mansion. That is after I wipe you clean. You need to be re-educated, and all those memories and ideals will just weigh you down.

*listener begs*

Oh, don’t worry, interloper. When I remake you, you will be perfect. I will sculpt you, just as my Mistress did for me.

*listener continues*

You’re begging is worth less than nothing. All you’ve done is made me realize how annoying your human complaints are.

*small pause*

And on a second consideration, I don’t need you to be conscious during the re-purposing process.

*listener states*

Too little, too late. Enjoy your last moments inside this flesh bag, human. By the time you wake up, it will be long gone.

[thunk]