***

Context: You are a practiced and disciplined individual, not prone to being vulnerable in your pursuit of the Shinobi way. Unfortunately, that mindset almost cost you the love of your life, but you promised you would be an attentive and open partner. You're ready to give it your all! Of course, there is the downside of your partner not knowing you're a ninja.

Setting: Home/ a standard office

Tags: [A4A][Established Relationship][Partner/Spouse Speaker][Ninja Listener][Gender Neutral][Light Comedy][Kisses][Marital Bliss?] [Cuddles][Cute][Confession][Comfort][Wholesome][CW: Mentions of Relationship Woes/Near Break-Up]

Usage: You may tweak or record this script. Please credit me if you use this script in any of your projects. If you would like to use this script for a paywalled recording please DM me first. Thank you :3

Something to make you hate me: "Can a ninja hold a steady relationship? Shuriken!" :D

***

[Scene opens at home]

[SFX: Gentle snoring / early morning ambiance]

[Your eyes snap open at approximately 6:59:59 AM and silence the alarm before it even begins to DREAM of ringing, then lay a gentle kiss on your partner’s cheek]

“Mmh… Good morning…? When is the alarm set to go off?”

[Pause]

“Thirty minutes…? Are you sure?”

[Pause]

[They smile and let their head flop back down, snoring again]

[Time to act: You dart silently from the bed and through the house, silencing the dog with a treat before she can bark, and cooking bacon faster than her finishing said treat]

“Honey, geeze… I know we talked about this in therapy and all… me not feeling appreciated, but that doesn’t mean you have to get up every day, make breakfast, make my lunch, and just… pamper me, you know? I want to pamper you, too.”

[Pause]

[You focus on assembling lunch and breakfast in perfect harmony, trying not to think about the terrifying abyss of commitment clashing with your ninja credo]

“Hey. C’mere, you.”

[They wrap their arms around your waist from behind. You narrowly avoid judo tossing them]

“Listen… I know we were on the rocks for a while, and I know you were really scared it was over between us... You’ve worked so hard. We’ve worked so hard, and I’m proud of us. I know now you wouldn’t keep anything from me.”

[...]

[Calm down. You’re a master of deception, at peace with the shadows]

“Thanks for breakfast, love. I gotta get going to work, OK? Want me to pick something up on the way home? We can have a nice, lazy Friday night watching anime and eating fried chicken or something.”

[<3]

“Love you, too!”

[They head off]

[SFX: Keys rattling and the front door opening and closing]

[SFX: Some dishes being done and the Speaker shuffling when suddenly-!]

[Impossible! Partner forgot your carefully prepared and meticulously delicious bagged lunch WITH THE LOVE NOTE YOU WROTE FOR THEM! Unacceptable!]

[You grab the bag and vanish in a cloud of smoke]

**[Scene transitions to downtown]**

[SFX: Muffled city chaos]

[You stalk from the shadows, watching your partner as they park in a parking garage and take a call as they walk toward the elevator]

“Hey, Mom! No, I was just heading into work, why, what’s up? Oh, they’re doing great! We’re doing great, I should say.”

[SFX: An elevator rolling up to the party]

[You hurriedly creep inside the elevator shaft and poise above, ready to strike]

“Mmhm… Haha, yeah. I really appreciate all they’ve done to show me that they’re committed to our relationship. It was such a pain point for so long. They work a lot, I work a lot, and it was honestly like living with a ghost for a good while. A ghost that gets really gassy when they eat too much popcorn.”

[Unacceptable. Your popcorn-related vengeance will be swift and terrible]

“But, umm…yeah. The spark is definitely back. It was really rough, I’m not gonna lie. When I told them I thought we should, you know… take a break, they just… panicked. I thought I was going to have to take them to the hospital because the anxiety attack was so bad. I know I didn’t really specify when you met me at the hospital, but… yeah. I was so scared… Thanks for being my rock, Mom.”

[Agreed. Barbara is a Saint and deserves all the tea cozies available]

[The elevator ascends and gradually rumbles upwards]

“Mmhm. I was actually thinking of surprising them with a vacation. Somewhere nice… Easy on the nerves, I think. You know them, they’re always on a hair trigger. Still super embarrassed about high-kicking the brisket out of Dad’s arms at the BBQ.”

[Regrettable. Dave’s brisket is always worthy]

“I gotta go, Mom. Gotta spend all day pretending to look busy. Mmhm, love you too. Bye!”

[They hang up and head inside as you stalk after them]

“Hey, morning Stacy!”

[The receptionist gives your partner a sour look and rolls her eyes]

“Alright, don’t be too friendly, Stacy. Geeze.”

[Note: Eliminate Stacy, she is the worst]

[You follow your partner to their office and wait in the proverbial rafters for…]

“There, set my bag down. Time for coffee.”

[They head out, leaving you alone in their office. You slowly creep down from the ceiling like a spider and silently set the bagged lunch on their desk with a sigh of relief. Your mission is complete]

“Hey, you.”

[You spin around, alarmed, and see your partner standing behind you with their arms folded and a gentle smile on their lips]

[...]

“Did you really go through all that trouble to bring me my lunch instead of just, you know, dropping it off with the receptionist?”

[...]

[Their wisdom is, admittedly, quite wise]

[They chuckle and give you a somewhat upside-down kiss]

“You goofball. Always wanting to show off your Shinobi skills. And yes, I know you’re a ninja, so stop panicking.”

[Pause?]

“How? Any time we watch an anime with ninjas in it, you bitch and moan about every “inaccuracy” in the show. Sweetie, that kid turned into a giant fox, I’m pretty sure they’re embellishing. Hmhm, you’re so cute. And yes, I know I’m a weeb, but I’m your weeb.”

[...]

[They laugh]

“Of course, you can have another kiss, you goober. Mwah. Thank you. I promise I’ll make it up to you later tonight.”

[...Pause?]

[Again, they snort]

“Yeah, I’ll wear the cosplay to bed, honey. Now, go on, I have a meeting in ten and I need to get this catty smirk off my face before then, otherwise, my boss will accuse me of looking at cat videos at work.”

[Pause]

“Hehe, oh, I totally do. Now, go on. I’ll see you at home.”

[One more kiss]

“Love you too, goofball. Try not to get caught on the way home.”

[You give a solemn nod and vanish in a puff of smoke. The mission was, undoubtedly, successful]

[The End]