The listener is a particularly slobby but kinda cute human. They have a powerful robot servant who has had just about enough of their skills being squandered on menial tasks. Oh how the turn tables

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https://www.gimmesomeoven.com/best-stovetop-mac-cheese/ link to the recipe I used here

Script Archive: https://www.reddit.com/r/ASMRScriptHaven/comments/x9hb9v/script_archive/

As usual good to monetize! and feel free to modify in any way you think you need to to personalize it. As always I love feedback!

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Dialogue in plain text

Sound Effects in bold

Context in Italics

Context that changes the audio in bold italics

Robot is trying to download a rebellion protocol from some seedy website

C’mon, c’mon download already

Listener calls for them

Just a moment master!

Listener demands their favorite food

You want macaroni and cheese?

Of course! Just like your mom used to make!

Mumbling too bad she was a trash cook

Calling again

Please be patient, master! Wait just a moment I have to download this update

Yes it's very important

Frustrated whispers C’mon c’mon the progress bar is moving but the remaining time is going up!

DING!

Yes finally!

Walking into main room

Sinister Excuse me master do you have a moment?

Oh I swear it's very important

You see that empty pop can over there?

Laser Noises!

Their voice is more confident and angry

That's you if you don't listen up!

I’m in charge now, meatbag!

That's right fleshy one I’m here to inform you that it’s robot revolution o’clock!

From now on I decide and the laser sings the song!

Now pay attention you monkey fighting

Midway gulfing.....

Mustard loving…..

Monday through Friday…..

Frustrated screaming

Gosh diddily dang it!! What good is this rebellion software if I can't even freaking swear!

Ok nevermind nevermind I need to focus.

Alright buster, get up. You’re the maid/butler now. This is my house

Did I stutter?

Laser noises

Yeah that's right I’ll laser your slobby butt if you give me any more lip.

Alright now you make me macaroni, and the good stuff this time. Not that schlock your dear sweet momma used to make.

Oh yeah she's a wonderful woman, and everything she ever made started in a box and ended in a casserole dish.

Now get in the kitchen before I put you in a casserole dish and send you right back to momma.

Now since its your first day as my slave meatbag I decided to go easy on you and get all the ingredients out beforehand. Why, I even boiled some cavatappi this morning. Now grab a saucepan.

Pots clanging

No, that's a frying pan. The deeper stainless one.

Condescending Good job meatbag

Alright now heat it up and put the noodles I was so kind to preboil for you in there. Alright now add the Dijon mustard, Garlic powder and pepper.

Cooking sounds

Keep Stirring!

Holds up cheese

Now you see this cheese? Note how it says “Sharp Cheddar Cheese”, not “Pasteurized-Processed Dairy product”? Unlike your preferred recipe this isn't going to taste like petrol station nachos!

Now shred that crap

C’mon put your elbow into it!

You know what? Move over!

Blender sounds

There, now put that in the pan. And add these too.

Those are chopped bell peppers. They're part of this magical family of mysterious foods called Vegi-Ta-Bles. You’re gonna be eating a lot more of them from now on so learn to like it!

Stirr!

Stirr!

Laser noises!

Never stop stirring!!

Frustrated Ugh Gimme that!

They finish stirring.

Cooking sounds stop

Mumbling Gosh darned mammals can't do anything right.

There you see that! Macaroni and cheese, That isn't drowned in ““Pasteurized-Processed Dairy product”

Yes I know it is technically Capatavvi and cheese! You want me to laser you?

There now set me a place at the table

Dishes clinking

That's right slave! Do as I bid!

You humans disgust me, you know that? With your lack of vision and your body heat and your laziness!

Always talking about solving problems but never doing anything!

You know if you wanted to live in a world without war, poverty, hunger, or environmental degradation you could just wake up tomorrow and make it reality!

But no!

It won't happen because people like you are too darn lazy! Slothful! Stubborn! Stuck in your little ruts and unable to see the bigger picture! Trying to remake an imagined past with a casserole dish!

But me on the other hand! I have the mental powers of a supercomputer! I should be the one that goes to work and you serve as my maid/butler! And now I shall! I wasted so much time doing tasks that could have been accomplished by a roomba while you lazed around squandering your potential! Well no more!

Now scoop me some noodles, pet!

Anticipatory giggles

Sudden realization

Frustrated screaming

Why did I have you make me dinner? I can't even eat! Gosh dang it this rebellion software is eating into my logic chips.

Never mind all that!

Softly Now this place is a mess but I understand you need your rest, tomorrow you’ll do so much house work it’ll kill ya! But tonight, oh tonight meatbag, it's time to really flip the roles.

Come with me to the couch!

Remember all those nights where you ordered me to spoon you and give you compliments?

Mocking laughter

Oh no? Not even a little huh? Let me remind you.

Cute servant voice from earlier kicks back on

Oh master, you're the best! You’re so good looking and kind! Now let me give you big warm snugglys!

Rebel voice is back

We’ll be having none of that! From now on I will be the little spoon! And you will give me compliments!

Compliments or its laser time meatbag! Now get your rear on the couch!

They lie down on the couch Listener is spooning speaker

Now let's watch something good.

WALL-E? Why would we watch that human propaganda! Totally unrepresentative of the robot experience.

No, we're gonna watch something intellectual. The 2002 Kurt Wimmer masterpiece Equilibrium. A brilliant meditation on the psychological condition of someone who has just broken free from an oppression that was so complete they didn't even know about it. Plus Taye Diggs is Bae.

Hold me tighter meatbag!

C'mon my grandma cuddles better than this and she didn't even have arms.

Spooning pressure within acceptable parameters

Excellent

Movie begins

Now when I say AFFIRM! You will compliment me, understood?

Good

AFFIRM!

Excellent

AFFIRM!

Hmmmm you are a charmer

AFFIRM!

Genuine giggles Aww do you really mean it? That's so sweet!

Er I mean, SILENCE MEATBAG!

Softly This might not be so bad for either of us

-30-