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Context: He's always been a delinquent, but, more importantly, he was your delinquent. He gets in trouble, but you're always there to bail him out... even when you've got a mountain of your own problems to handle. You just needed him to be there for you that night but... he wasn't, and you attempted to overdose shortly after. You don't even know if you're still alive, now, or just floating in nothingness with only a familiar voice to keep you anchored.
Setting: The hospital
Tags: [M4A][Established Relationship][Delinquent Boyfriend Speaker][Stressed Listener][Hospital][Confession][Comfort][Reverse Comfort][Angst][Being Better][Love][CW: Post-Suicide Attempt Scenario/Subjects]
Usage: You may tweak or record this script. Gender flipping is OK! Please credit me if you use this script in any of your projects. If you would like to use this script for a paywalled recording please DM me first. Thank you :3
[Scene opens in a hospital room]
[SFX: Hospital beeps, boops, and chaos]
[Everything is muffled and muted. Your stomach aches, your head hurts, and someone is sobbing nearby]
ā-idiot. Iām a fucking idiot! How could I have not known?!ā
[Itās your boyfriend. Heās sitting next to your bed, sobbing, tears pouring down his face]
āIām sorry. Iām so sorry. If Iād knownā¦ I-If Iād known youā¦ you were thinking ofā¦ I t-thought we were OK, babyā¦ā
[You try to reach out to him but canāt move]
[SFX: A paper being rustled]
ā...how long ago did you write this noteā¦? Weeks? Months? I r-read itā¦ Over and over, until it hurt worse than anything until I could hopefully understandā¦ā
[SFX: More paper rustling as he tucks the note back into his leather jacket]
ā... āHeāll ruin youā. Thatās what your Mom said last time we went over for dinner. I know you didnāt know that I had heard it, and you stuck up for me something fierce, butā¦ā
[His voice becomes small]
ā... Baby, please, I d-donātā¦ D-Donāt let me ruin you, O-OK? I know Iām trash, and Iāve been trying to be less trash, but itās so fucking hard and I know you believe in me and that makes it all the worse when I let you down and I just-!ā
[SFX: Some thuds. Best the Listener can tell, the Speaker is punching himself in the leg]
ā... I just keep reverting to the man I thought you fell in love withā¦ The guy in the leather jacket that wormed his way on into your friend group at that party, then put enough sugar in your ear that you actually went to that burger place with me, the same night. A-And we just talkedā¦ Remember? You justā¦ you glowed when you were talking about your interests, and any part of me that was trying to get a cheeky hook-up justā¦ I donāt know. I was used to being the playboy, the bad boy, whatever boy people wanted, whatever, butā¦ you just wanted to know me.ā
[Pause]
[He sniffles, voice cracking]
āIām sorry I got into that fightā¦ The guys justā¦ they know that if they talk about you, it gets me going to the point that I can barely see straight, and I justā¦ I donāt know! Reporting your boys for workplace harassment just aināt something men are meant to do, you know? And itās childish, yeah, but itās a Hell of a lot fasterā¦ but it hurts you. Itā¦embarrasses you when you have to come and get me out of the slammer, andā¦ you said in the letter people had been talking at workā¦ā
[He sighs, hand resting on yours]
ā...Iām sorry. If you need me out of your life, I will go. But not before you wake up, not before I am sure that youāll be OK, alright? You know me, baby, Iām one of the most stubborn men alive!ā
[Pause]
[He jumps a little as you finally manage to speak]
āBaby! Oh my God, youāre awake! Oh shit, hang on, ahh-!ā
[He jumps to his feet, dashes across the room, and dashes back with an absurd amount of bouquets]
āH-Here! I bought every damned bouquet I c-could get from the gift shop, baby.ā
[Pause?]
āLugging them a-around gave me s-something to do whileā¦ while we w-were waitingā¦ Your Mom is here. Sheās out grabbing some things butā¦ Iām sure sheāll be back soon, OK? I know you probably want someone thatās notā¦ meā¦ā
[Pause]
āW-What? Of course, Iāll hug you! Cāmere, mmhā¦ God, you feel so frailā¦ s-shit, Iāmā¦ Iām trying to keep it together, sorry, you donāt needā¦ā
[Pause]
āIām listening, baby. Get it all out, OK?ā
[Long Pause - Recommend improving the Speaker acknowledging the Listenerās comments from time to time]
āO-OKā¦ OK, itās OKā¦ Iām just gonna repeat it back, OK? Mmhm, just like how Dr. Jeanette said. Soā¦ you arenāt angry at me, per se, but youāve been feeling unappreciated and used in general for a long timeā¦ Y-You feel like people only want you around when you can be useful to themā¦ and like a burden when you think you canātā¦Oh, baby, God in Heaven, cāmereā¦ā
[His embrace tightens a bit and he kisses the crown of your head]
āShhā¦ Itās OK. You feel however you feel, baby, Iām not judging you, and I wonāt leave you if I think you canāt help me. Itās impossible, you know? You help me just by being you, h-hehā¦ā
[Pause]
āYeah, so I aināt so good at the sappy thing, I knowā¦ I just, fuck, I have emotions but I donāt know the right words to tell you so you know that Iām hereā¦ Warm, desperate, excited, happy, scared, calmā¦ OK, look, this never leaves this room, butā¦ you know my baby blanket? Yes, the one you helped patch upā¦ the warmth and safety I feel from looking at it is the same I get with you. I know Iām safe with youā¦ I justā¦ I didnāt realize I wasnāt safe for you.ā
[Pause]
āLookā¦ it might not be my āfaultā, but I havenāt been helpingā¦ Baby, I need to know what you need from me, O-OK? Youāre not a burden, and you donāt need to be āusefulā for me to love you. Iām crazy about you, y-you know? Just thinking about one of your little sassy comments makes me both smile and mad as Hell, hehe.ā
[Pause]
āHey, hey, shhā¦ noā¦ no, itās OK, you donāt need to feel ashamed, baby. I knowā¦ You just wanted the pain to stop, I knowā¦ Isā¦ this OK? Me rubbing your backā¦?ā
[Pause]
āGoodā¦ā
[His voice cracks and he slips back into quiet sobs]
ā...No one is madā¦ O-OK? Weāre worried. We want to help, but no one is madā¦ Your boss knows youāre in the hospital but not why, so youāre on sick leave until further notice.ā
[Pauseā¦]
āHey. Look at me, OK? Iāve already asked my boss for more hours and freelance gigs. We are going to be just fine for money while you recover, OK?ā
[...]
ā...Itās OK, baby. You cry as much as you need. Iām not going anywhere unless you tell me otherwise, alright?ā
[He continues to hold you as you cry, gently rubbing your back]
āIām hereā¦ Iām not going anywhere, OK? Rest now, sweetheart. Weāll figure this shit out, O-OK?ā
[Pause]
[He lets out a shaky laugh-sob]
āI-I love you too, baby.ā
[To be continued?]
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