Context: You are a Queen Bee, quite literally, and even though you and your brood are humanoid, you still find yourself exhausted day after day. Your drones are good boys, but lack in the brains department. You love them, and they adore you, but sometimes you need a break. Or, at the very least, more of you...

Setting: The Hive

Tags: [MMMM4F][Bee Drone Speakers][Wasp Speaker][Queen Bee Listener][Comedy][Really Dumb Comedy][Do Ya Like Jazz?][Flirting][Bees][Wasps][Thousands of Himbos][Himbees, rather][Cloning][CW: Harem Shenanigans]

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***

BEHOLD: The dumbest thing ever!

[38] = Clumsiest himbee
[92] = Surprisingly heroic himbee
[72] = Needs to quit smoking himbee
[W] = A wasp man, who is clearly a rogue

***

[Scene opens within a massive, human-sized beehive]

[SFX: Bee noises, idfk]

[You sit upon your throne, looking out over unto your vast empire. Muscly drones are everywhere, working their little stingers off. You know you have about five seconds before-]

[38] “Your highness! Your high-derf!”

[Drone 38 flies your way, donking his head on a wooden beam and toppling over before you]

[38] “Apologies, my Queen! I was in a hurry to be received by your splendor!”

[He bows and you try to hide your sighs]

[38] “My Queen! 72 got caught by a human, what should we do?!”

[Pause?]

[38] “He tried to sting her, but she sprayed him with some smoke and now he’s just kind of twitching and we don’t know what to do!”

[Pause]

[38] “W-Well, uh, she kind of just dragged him back here and dumped him on the front porch. We’re human-sized so, I mean, I dunno, I guess a giant beehive isn’t that hard to miss? I mean, I miss it every single day, or bump my head… but that’s why you’re the best Queen! You just sigh and pat us on our heads and tell us to feel better! That’s why there’s about a hundred-thousand drones that are madly in love with you, you know?”

[Pause]

[38] “Well, of course, me too, haha. I’m a good bee! For Queen and countbee! COUNTRY! Godamnit, that movie does not speak for us, we are reclaiming bee puns!”

[You watch him ‘drone’ on and feel your eyes rolling back in sheer exasperation. While he’s grumbling about this or that, you subtly slip your consciousness to another body of yours elsewhere within the hive]

[SFX: More bee noises]

[As your consciousness swaps over, you find yourself sitting before, well, yourselves]

[92] “Your highness! My Queen, look! There are so many of you!”

[...]

[92] “Hmm? Oh, I’m Drone 92, my Queen! You dedicated me to janitorial duties after the, um, comb incident… I-In my defense, I legitimately didn’t know there was lake water underneath that particular tunnel!”

[You rub the bridge of your nose as 92 darts about excitedly]

[92] “Wow… you have nineteen different bodies here! All of them are super cute… I-I-I mean, uh, t-they look like you. Y-Yep.”

[SFX: The Listener snapping her fingers]

[All of your clones stand up in unison and shuffle off while you glare at 92]

[92] “I-I’m sorry, my Queen… I just saw that you were thrashing and having trouble breathing in the water, so I pulled you out and kissed-, I mean, did that mouth thingy humans do when they’re in water for too long, and you gasped and breathed normally but then another you ran in and was like “Oh shit”, so I got that one too cause I was like “Whoa, two Queens'', but then more ran in and… yeah”

[Pause?]

[He blushes, as best a man-bee can]

[92] “O-Of course I saved you from drowning. You’re our Queen, and we all love you, you know?”

[Pause]

[38 skids in, wings in a tizzy as he barrels past the two of you and slams into the wall]

[38] “MY QUEEN, I JUST DISCOVERED THE MOST AMAZING TH- derf! A-Ahem, I meant to run into the wall!

[92] “Is it that there’s a bunch of Queens?!”

[38] “THERE’S A BUNCH OF QUEENS?!”

[Pause!]

[Both of them cower a touch as you tell them to stop messing around]

[38] “Sorry, majesty. BUT NO! We were trying to bring 72 in but he kind of just fell off the sled thing we made, and then this JERK WASP meandered by and was all “Haha, dumbass bees with your chubby thoraxes”, so, naturally, we jumped him to beat him up, but it turns out he’s part of the Murder Wasp gang, so now we’re just kind of hugging him en masse and hoping the heat will kill him, but he’s being real mean and calling us himbees!”

[You listen for a moment and can, indeed, hear a very angry man’s voice screeching:]

[W] “AY, WHOA, AYYY, WHOOOAAA! AYYY! POLICE, THIS IS BUG-ON-BUG VIOLENCE!”

[92] “Hmph, dumb wasps. Wasps are so dumb, right 38?”

[38] “Dude, don’t, the Queen has a calendar of hot wasp boys in her room, remember?”

[That’s about when your brain decides it has had enough and checks out, floating on over to the one body of yours that managed to flee the hive. You blink a few times and wince - the yelling is louder now]

[W] “Hey! Queenie! Do you want to tell your dumbass harem to get off of me?!”

[You glance over at the mass of yellow and black swarming around this one unfortunate wasp man and his more unfortunate leather jacket]

[W] “C’mon, I wasn’t trying to start shit! I just came over to make fun of the idiot that got himself caught in some girl’s apartment because he thought a silk flower was real!”

[Despite yourself, you smile a little. You know your brood and that is pretty on brand for them]

[Pause!]

[Your boys exchange looks but all yell “Yes, my Queen!” in unison before leaving the wasp man alone]

[W] “Gah, geeze! Sweatin’ like mad here thanks to that little Turkish wrestling session, blugh. Appreciate the mercy there, beautiful.”

[Pause]

[The wasp man gives you a fanged smile, wiggling his antennae suggestively]

[W] “Mmh, pretty lady… You got some real nice curves, hehe. You know, my kind are yellow and black-striped too, so if you wanted a little interspecies fun, well…”

[You hear a random drone shout “HE’S HITTING ON OUR QUEEN! CHARGE!”. The bees do indeed charge back in, but the wasp man simply flies upward with a wink]

[W] “Hehe, protective, aren’t they? Cute. You and your little himbees. Tell you what, gorgeous, you get curious? Come on over to our hive. We won’t bite. Well…”

[He shrugs, cackles a little, and spirits off into the forest]

[72, weakly] “W-What a dick…”

[He collapses, still sputtering and coughing from the smoke]

[You order the others to get 72 inside for medical attention and wait until you’re finally left alone to blush. But just a little. Only a little.]

[...]

[Stupid, sexy wasp man]

[The End?]