Context: Since the Fall, being taken from Earth and put into a place known as the Zoo has become depressingly common. Most humans, like yourself, are scooped up to be sold here or admired as exotic oddities. It seems your time has come to be taken to the Zoo, and you aren't exactly going to go down without a fight.

Setting: The Zoo - Quadrant 4

Tags: [AMM4A][Tsundere Alien Lord Speaker][Multiple Speakers][Captive Human Listener][Human Pet][Hate Kissing][Spicy][Arguing][Breaking the Tsundere][Sci-Fi][Aliens]["Flirting"][Kisses][Being Sold][Space][CW: Human Trafficking/Spicy Implications]

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***

[G] = Geordis, a Jalan guard that's easily nettled

[Y] = Lord Yatra, infuriatingly hot, punchable face

***

[Scene opens on a spaceship carrying an artificial ecosystem within]

[SFX: Forest ambiance]

[You are curled up under the shade of an evergreen “tree”. The other humans seem merry enough, but you are new. The drugs haven’t kicked in just yet]

[Human(Optional):] “C’mon, new friend! The point of the Zoo is to enjoy life just like we had back on Earth!”

[Pause!]

[The other humans laugh at your desperation and return to playing]

[G] “Hey! Enough shouting, human!”

[You turn and see one of the aliens that took you from your home glaring at you. If you had to describe him, “Drow-like” would probably cut it, save for the long fangs poking out from under his upper lip]

[G] “Hmph. What are you smirking at, human? Disrespecting a Jalan guard like that won’t earn you any favors!”

[Pause]

[If he could blush, you think he might be now]

[G] “E-Excuse me, I am Jalan, not one of your Chinese water deers! H-How dare you! My teeth are perfectly normal-sized for my species!”

[SFX: A beep-boop notification]

[G] “Wyrm forgive me, now I’m running behind thanks to you! Humans, shape up! You’ve a noble buyer coming through!”

[SFX: The other humans lining up, giggling and generally just being out of it]

[G] “...going to continue to be a brat, are we?”

[Pause]

[His mouth drops in offended disbelief as you show him the one thing about Jalan culture you know: namely, how to say “your mom” with hand gestures]

[G] “Agh! I just-! Wuhbuh-! Y-You-! RRGH! No, y-your mother!”

[SFX: The door hissing open]

[The guard’s ears lower immediately as a taller, more fancily dressed Jalan enters the room, arms folded behind him]

[Y] “...You were saying something, guard? About my mother, it sounded?”

[G] “L-Lord Yatra, m-my sincerest apologies! The newest human was being rude and I just-!”

[Y] “You just let a human get under your skin.”

[G] “...yes, sir.”

[Y] “Which is…?”

[G] “Stupid, sir…”

[Y] “Very good.”

[G, nervously] “Y-Your tusks are, uh, looking well-polished, sir!”

[Pause]

[Y, amused] “The human is right, Geordis. No one likes a kiss ass. I take it this human is the one that’s giving you oh-so-much trouble?”

[The guard looks away, almost in tears from embarrassment]

[G] “A-Aye…”

[Y] “Open the door, please. I will demonstrate how to tame one of these disrespectful creatures. No different from any other beast here in the Zoo.”

[SFX: Another door hissing]

[Yatra strides in, your chain in his hand before he can blink]

[Y] “Here, I’ve got your chain, human. Now. Kneel.”

[He yanks the chain and you resist, cursing him]

[Y, with a bit of a smirk] “So haughty… The haughty must be brought to kneel, my friend. Now…”

[SFX: A chain rattling hard]

[Pause!]

[Y, smile gone now] “...you are ruining what was meant to be a pleasant shopping trip for me, human… I came here to find someone nice and sweet that has no problem lounging about my interstellar yachts, catching some sun, and pleasing me when I ask. So, would you be so kind as to kneel so I can carry on with my day?”

[Pause!]

[Lord Yatra lets out a choked gurgle as you headbutt him in the stomach, toppling over as you grab the chain in your teeth, tying it around his neck and pulling it tight]

[G] “HUMAN! Unhand Lord Yatra at once! Hey, no, don’t wrap the chain around his neck! That’s it, I’m requesting authorization for deadly force!”

[His voice fades out, pleading on some kind of COMM in his ear, while you struggle with Lord Yatra. After a bit of hoarse grunting, he forces his body up, pinning you beneath him]

[Y] “Hhk, gods! No, you-! RRGH! You can stay pinned under me for, HRGH, NOW! Wyrm below… you humans are almost never a challenge, you know that? Always so happy and dopey and grateful for my kisses and touch…”

[Pause!]

[He smirks, but you can tell there’s a wildness behind his eyes]

[Y] “Ohohoho, my kisses “ain’t shit”, hm? Fine, you fleshy little shit, hold still!”

[He kisses you. You hate to admit it, as his tongue plays with yours, but he’s pretty good at it. He pulls back after a moment, licking his lips and tusks]

[Y] “Mmh… You taste like vanilla…Vanilla and bad attitude… So violent for someone so determined to best my tongue being in their throat, hmm? I…hate to admit it…but something about you is making it, ah… very difficult to accept that this is a terrible idea…”

[Pause]

[Y] “Ohohoho! I have no problems proving that I’m more than man enough to handle you, you saucy, foul-mouthed little-!”

[Pause!]

[Y] “Wha-? No, fuck you!”

[Pause!!]

[Y] “No, FUCK YOU!”

[Pause!!!]

[Y] “OK FINE I’LL BUY YOU RIGHT NOW YOU LITTLE SHIT AND THE SECOND I DO, I’M DRAGGING YOU TO BED AND I’LL SHOW YOU THAT I-!”

[The guard nervously clears his throat and you both snap “What?!” at him]

[G] “A-Ah! Sorry, Lord Yatra, it’s just, um, the Captain authorized the use of deadly force and I kinda need you to not be touching them when their skeleton starts melting…”

[Y] “You will not touch them, Geordis. They’re mine.”

[G] “Ahh… a-are you sure, Lord Yatra? They d-did just try and strangle you.”

[Y, rolling his eyes] “Yes, and if you remember my last relationship, and the one before, you’ll realize that I am especially bad at avoiding crazy. Crazy does something to me. Crazy… A-Ahem, well, it doesn’t matter. This one is mine. I want them, and I want it handled immediately.”

[G] “I-I’ll send note to the Headmaster, sir!”

[He hurries off, leaving you in your especially precarious position with Lord Yatra]

[...]

[Y] “Hmhm… don’t know what to do now, do you, human? You’ve drawn the eye of one of the most powerful trade lords this side of the galaxy. How does that make you feel, hm?”

[Pause]

[Y] “You-! Hm. Hmhmhm… Ohhh, I hate that I already adore you. And you’ve been gently playing with my tusks for the last five minutes… clearly you see something you like.”

[Pause]

[Y, smirking] “Well, if a punchable face is your turn-on…Ow! Oh, you little shit, that was my chin! Fine, FINE, I’m just going to keep kissing you until they get back! No, I don’t care if your derpy little human friends watch, let them!”

[You didn’t think makeouts could be quite so hostile but, here you are, in the depths of space and being kissed by a trade lord after trying to kill him]

[Y] “Mmh, ah ah, you keep tugging on my tusk and I’m going to go for your neck…”

[You decide to tug on his tusk anyway. To heck with him and to heck with the drugged zombies watching you hate-kiss]

[To be continued]