Context: A war is waging for your kingdom just outside the walls, and it is no secret that your comrades would have lost long ago were it not for you. As a thaumaturgist, you perform miracles, save lives, or take them. You interact with the royal knights often enough that one worked up the nerve to ask to court you, despite easily being the biggest dork on the planet. But he's your dork, and you know he will always protect you... or try, at least.

Setting: A battleground/tavern

Tags: [MMM4A][Knight Speakers][Prince Speaker][Badass Magical Listener][Fantasy][Magic][Courting][Such a Dork][Twin Dorks][Flirting][Kind of Wholesome][CW: War/Kidnapping]

Usage: You may tweak or record this script. Gender flipping is OK! Please credit me if you use this script in any of your projects. If you would like to use this script for a paywalled recording please DM me first. Thank you :3

***

[F] = Fredericke, your suitor's twin brother

[H] = Your incredibly dorky knight suitor

[V] = Prince Vexh, the enemy

***

[Scene opens on a hectic battlefield with men in gleaming silver armor, attempting to rally against enemy troops]

[SFX: Dark ages warfare]

[F] “Gah, where is your miracle worker, Hector?! We’re getting hammered on all sides by the enemy! We can’t fall back any further without completely giving away the ground!”

[A taller but more uncertain knight turns to face the other]

[H] “Do not doubt our Thaumaturgist! They have never failed us before and they won’t now!”

[SFX: An approaching thunderstorm]

[H] “There, see! On the back of a crackling, electric dragon! Do you see?!”

[F, with a relieved sigh] “Yes, we all see the object of your heart’s pitter-pattering! Come, you have to direct them on whom to strike!”

[Pause!]

[H] “R-Right! Give me the banner, then!”

[He takes the banner, turns and charges out with the banner in one hand and his shield in the other]

[H] “This way, Miracle! Unleash your vengeance upon those that spit in the eye of our ways!”

[SFX: Arrows whistling and lightning crackling as your storm dragon breaches the storm clouds and plummets toward the Earth, mouth open and blazing with sapphire magic]

[Pause!]

[You only faintly hear it, but you can hear the enemy prince cry out from the battlements:]

[V] “Strike down the Knight! For the gods’ sake, strike downed the damned knight, do not pay mind to the dragon for now!”

[SFX: Angry storm dragon sounds and electricity erupting before the enemy soldiers cry out and scramble away in alarm]

[H] “HERE, villains!”

[With a cry of effort, Hector hurls the banner into the enemy lines before he scrambles back]

[H] “My love! Your hand, if you’d please!”

[You reach down and take his hand, helping him on to the back of Petunia. His arms shakily wrap around your waist as you focus on the enemy]

[H] “I-I knew you’d arrive in time. You always do.”

[Pause]

[H] “Aye, Miracle! Let us finish this battle and then claim that drink I owe you at the tavern!”

[SFX: Fading warfare]

[Before he turns, you see the enemy prince glare coldly at you. You give him a happy little gesture before turning your dragon on anyone else still foolish enough to fight]

**[Scene transitions to within the city walls, in the local tavern]*\*

[SFX: Tavern ambiance]

[H] “To Mir-uh, to our Thaumaturgist!”

[SFX: Cheers and mugs clacking together]

[F] “And another win against Prince Vexh and his malicious army of brutes!”

[SFX: Another cheer]

[H] “The look on his face when you s-swooped in on Petunia was astounding!”

[F] “Wait-”.

[Pause]

[H] “Y-Yes, the lightning runes looked much better t-this time!”

[F] “The dragon’s name is fucking ‘Petunia’?”

[Pause]

[H] “P-Petunia is a good boy, Fredericke.”

[F] “The dragon is a boy?!”

[Hector smiles warmly at you, ignoring his friend’s meltdown]

[H] “Y-You really are something else out t-there, Miracle…”

[F] “Eugh, will you two just use the room you got for the evening, hm? The rest of the boys and myself don’t need to see you two making kissy eyes at one another.”

[Pause]

[SFX: People laughing]

[Fredericke shakes his head but he’s smiling]

[F] “Yeah, yeah, Thaumaturgist, I’ll worry about my own implied virginity for the time being. Go on, you two, you’ve earned some rest.”

[Pause]

[Hector rubs the back of his head, nervous as the two of you head further into the inn]

[H] “I-I, uh.. I-I’m sorry my brother t-teases so much. I think i-it’s because we’re twins, you know? T-Twins can’t not pick on each other.”

[Pause]

[H] “...M-Miracle, I, um- oh!”

[He trips over his own feet and falls against you, palms on either side of the wall]

[Pause]

[H] “I-I-I-I, a-ah, um… I’m s-so sorry! I didn’t mean to trip and pin you a-against the wall like this!”

[Pause]

[Hector’s eyes dart nervously for a moment and he lowers his voice to a whisper]

[H] “I-I know I call y-y-you my love, b-but we’ve just b-barely begun to c-c-court!”

[Pause]

[He lets out a nervous giggle as you rest a hand on his arm]

[H] “M-Miracle, please… you k-know I was raised in the church, s-same as you, a-a-and you know how they feel about…”

[Again, he whispers:]

[H] “H-Hanky-panky…”

[Pause]

[H] “D-Don’t laugh! I j-just… I’m trying t-t-to be a gentleman, y-you know?”

[Pause]

[He, somehow, turns even more red]

[H] “Miracle! Thou shalt not tempt… o-oh, t-to Hells with it. L-Let me get a bath a-and then I will lie with you. I-I promise.”

[He steals a quick kiss and hurries off, doing his best to look natural. It’s not working]

[SFX: The door opening and closing behind you as you settle on the bed and rest your eyes]

[Pause]

[The door opening again and footsteps approaching. You don’t bother to open your eyes]

[Pause?]

[A dark voice answers instead of your sweet Hector’s:]

[V] “No, my sweet little freak of nature… I fear your knight in shining armor is elsewhere.”

[You try to leap up but the enemy prince gets you by the throat, squeezing down with pointed malice]

[V] “Ah, ah, ah… Try to pass out with dignity. I want you in your right mind when you wake next, witch… because I want you to remember being in control for as long as possible so that what I’m going to do to you is extra painful. Now, if you’d be so kind…”

[SFX: A harsh thud and ringing, if preferred]

[V] “Go to sleep.”

[To be continued?]