Context: As an officer training to be a detective, you've been called out to investigate a lot of strange scenarios. This night was no different - a call that some people had vanished into the forest earlier that night. You weren't sure how you were expecting your night to go, but it certainly didn't involve being chased by a hungry, sadistic werewolf. How will you survive the night now?

Setting: The forest/interstate

Tags: [MM4A][Sadistic Werewolf Speaker][Cop Speaker][Cop Listener][Comedy][Kind of Wholesome][Especially Tsundere][Chase][Predator/Prey][Petting Good Bois][Even If They're Bad Bois][CW: Murderous Intent/Violence]

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***

All unmarked text is Hiral, the angriest boi

[C] = Your cop coworker of questionable ethics

***

[Scene opens in the depths of a forest, late at night]

[SFX: A chase with the Speaker’s footsteps sounding much louder than the Listener’s]

[You weren’t exactly sure how you saw your night going when you were sent in to investigate some disappearances. Certainly not being chased by a werewolf]

“Hehehe, you can run all you want, WENCH! No prey escapes this alpha, the mighty Hiral!”

[SFX: The footsteps picking up]

“You are formidable for a human, I will admit! But you’ve wandered into the wrong territory, little one. I bit that stupid little gun of yours in half - a terrible taste, by the way, and something I FULLY intend to take out on your flimsy little body once I’m tearing it in two!”

[Pause!]

[The Alpha laughs sadistically]

“No, I fear the forest has no respect for your pitiful little laws! And I certainly don’t care that you have “really good leftovers” at home! You’ll be my leftovers soon enough, wench, and I can’t say I’m not looking forward to it!”

[SFX: The chase continuing]

“You’re slowing down, wench… Is your poor human stamina just not enough to save your life? How predictable… Very well, then let us end this game!”

[You manage to run into a clearing and spin around just in time to see the Alpha charge you, snarling, and it’s all you can do to skid aside]

[SFX: The Alpha snarling and then crashing and toppling over]

“Hrrgghhh, wench! You may have me on my back now, but I- hey. HEY! Get your hands off of my stomaachhhh oooohhh that’s good…”

[All of the vitriol melts and his leg twitches as you scratch his belly while his tongue lolls out]

“Arlgalrar thaaaat’s the spot… rriiight there… Hey, HEY, NO! Stop! Staaawwp! If the rest of the pack sees, they’ll never let me live it down! Stop scratching my belly and ears!”

[Pause?]

“What?! No I’m not going to spare you, you’re FOOD in MY territory! No, no, no, stoooooppppp!”

[You carry on scratching the belly of the biggest good boi you’ve ever scratched: good boi status pending]

[The Alpha wriggles around and lets out a few impotent snaps of his jaws and some whines, tail thumping aggressively under him]

“Grrrrr, why can I not resist the witchcraft you are doing to my stomach?! This is asinine!”

[Pause]

[He snarls under his breath]

“Don’t you dare even jest about making me wear a leash, wench! I am an alpha werewolf, a thing of legend, not some toy dog you can parade around the neighborhood!”

[You decide to push your luck and scritch under his powerful fanged jaws. He snaps at you a few times but, honestly, having this massive wolfman staring up at you like an upset husky makes the danger worth it]

“Arhghralrlara, I swear, I SWEAR to the moon goddess, the second your hands get tired, I am going to tear you limb-from-limb, do you hear me?!”

[Pause]

[You’re not really sure if werewolves can blush or not but, if they can, this old boy is definitely doing it]

“How DARE you call me a “good boy”! I am no good boy! I am no boy, I am a man!”

[You keep scratching while getting your handcuffs out of your pocket as subtly as you can and cuff his feet together]

“Y-You-! If you touch my tail, wench, then I swear-!”

[Pause]

“What do you mean you are no wench?! Then what are you?”

[You show him your police badge and he scoffs]

“Pfah! A police officer is no threat to a werewolf! AHA, YOU HAVE STOPPED SCRATCHING, NOW IS THE TIME!”

[The Alpha surges up and immediately trips on his face, snarling and howling into the bed of dead leaves beneath]

“RRGH! THESE LITTLE CHAINS OF YOURS WILL DO NOTHING!”

[You agree with him, turn tail and sprint as fast as you can toward the edge of the forest. His enraged howls fade behind you, but you keep one hand on your pepper spray, just in case. Unfortunately, it is not long before you can hear him bounding after you]

“POLICE WENCH!!!”

[SFX: Thunderous, racing steps]

“COME BACK AND FACE ME LIKE A TRUE WARRIOR!”

[Almost]

“YOUR BELLY SCRATCHES WON’T SAVE YOU THIS TIME!”

[Just another few feet-!]

[SFX: Hiral’s breath growing closer to the Listener as they run]

“GOT YOU!”

[He swipes at you and you leap forward, tucking yourself into a ball and rolling free of the forest. As Hiral storms after, you hear coworkers shout out for him to stop followed by quite a few tasers going off]

[Pause]

[Hiral falls over, body contorting while he grits his teeth and groans]

“RRGH, stupid, nngh, fucking human inventions! YOU THINK THIS IS ENOUGH TO GROUND ME?!”

[Pause]

“Well you’re CORRECT because I think I’m blacking out!”

[SFX: A heavy thud and a low whine]

“Arlglarlar… I’mma getcha… just lemme give up… GET UP! Rrgh… gonna make you mine… one way or another…”

[Pause]

[Hiral appears to, at last, finally pass out, and you exchange uncertain glances with your fellow officers]

[C] “So, ahh… the fuck do we do about this? Book him downtown?”

[Pause]

[C] “Oh yeah, true… Guess we’re not exactly safety rated for werewolves… Ahhh. Welp.”

[He approaches Hiral’s unconscious form and gently boots him into the ditch between the road and the forest]

[C] “There we go, he can just, ah… hang out in this here ditch until he wakes up. Great! All sorted! C’mon, guys, I could really go for some burgers or something.”

[Pause?]

[C] “Ahh, it’s fine. The forest folk take care of themselves.”

[The other officers slide into the car. You glance back at your twitching, slightly singed friend and scritch him behind the ear one more time before heading off]

[...]

[You really didn’t see your night going this way]

[The End?]