Context: You're a simple demon: sometimes, you just like to go to the human world, find a nice, attractive human, and possess them for your amusement. This time, however, they sent in an exorcist, cutting short your time with the handsome single father you had been possessing and tying you to the shadow of said exorcist. The two of you are bound, now, until you can figure out a way to separate. In the meantime, you're not quite ready for your fun to end.

Setting: The city streets/a hotel room

Tags: [M4A][Enemies to ?][Exorcist Speaker][Demon Listener][Incubus/Succubus][VERY Spicy][Flirting][Fighting][Tsundere on Both Sides][Bickering][Dorky][Church Boy][CW: Mentions of Violence/Spicy Subjects]

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***

[Scene opens on the street in front of a convenience store]

[SFX: Quiet city ambiance]

[You sit on the pavement with him, neither of you wanting to talk to each other, while he munches on chips in the angriest fashion you’ve ever seen]

[Pause]

“Ugh, I got you your own bag of chips, Demon!”

[Pause]

“Blarglr, I swear! Give me the fucking bag. No, give it to me! And the soda may as well open that for you too, seeing as your miserable self is caught in my shadow.”

[SFX: A bag of chips being opened]

[Pause]

“Hey! Most exorcisms that I have to perform aren’t anywhere CLOSE to how complicated yours was! I didn’t expect you to come clawing and tearing your way out of that man’s soul to get at me, hence me binding you!”

[Pause]

“Ugh, YES, I was trying to bind you to the doll I’d brought, I just happened to direct the spell a few inches to the left of it and it hit my shadow, OK?! Now, will you kindly shut up while I try and figure out what to do?!”

[You eat your chips, drink your soda, and sulk while the Exorcist ponders and grumbles]

[...]

“Hey. HEY!”

[Pause?]

“I feel your freezing, wicked hands crawling up my chest! Oh, you better not be going for the nip- ARGH!”

[You cackle as he flails and slaps at his chest helplessly]

“Look, I know you’re some kind of incubus or succubus or… whatever the Hell else is down in that miserable pit you call a home that can’t seem to keep their pants on. B-But that doesn’t mean you just get to fondle my pecs whenever you like!”

[Pause]

[He rolls his eyes and pulls out a flash, splashing some of the contents in your general direction]

[Pause!]

“Hiss all you want! You’re the one forcing me to throw holy water at you every other second just to force you to behave! Let me think for a bit, hm? OK… I’m an exorcist. I came here to exorcise a demon possessing a single father - apparently, their type - and the ritual went awry, as it does, no big fucking deal… and now I have a demon trapped in my shadow. Sure! Not a problem!”

[Pause]

“You can chortle and mock me all you want. The second we get back to the Vatican, you’re going to experience a slow, agonizing death for your crimes!”

[Pause]

[You see the tips of his ears turn bright red, even if he doesn’t acknowledge you]

“I appreciate your single-track mind but I hardly think you’re going to “plow your way through a priest gauntlet” to escape this. Happy with your snacks, Demon?”

[Pause]

“Good. Now, c’mon. I have a hotel room and my flight is in the morning.”

[SFX: Him standing with a groan and footsteps on stone]

**[Brief scene transition to the hotel room]*\*

[SFX: A door opening and then shutting]

“Well, here we are. Nothing glamorous but the church doesn’t exactly give much in the way of a travel budget.”

[Pause]

[He spins around, angered by your comment]

“How DARE you say that about the church! A few corrupt leaders in the past does not mean that the entire religion is corrupt! I - agh!”

[You pounce on him while he’s mid-rant and he topples back onto the pitiful little bed]

“Get…Get off of me, demon!”

[He lies beneath you, immensely flustered, and you smile coyly down at him]

“Demon, you’re playing a dangerous game if you think you can seduce me…”

[Pause]

“L-Listen to me! While your touch is very soft and nice, I am a man of the church!”

[Pause]

“Oh, I’m not of the church, hm? Then explain the crucifix around my neck. HA! Checkmate, De-...”

[You lean down, clasp your teeth around his little necklace and tear it free, spitting it to the side]

“...Fucking back alley priest, he SWORE it was blessed properly! I, um… Oh. That’s… that’s your tail slithering under my back, isn’t it? Huh. Less scaly than I expected, OW! Kss, don’t bite me, you little brat!”

[Pause]

“What will I do if you don’t?! I’ll… bite back! No, wait, you’d love that… I’ll start singing sea shanties!”

[...]

“Oh, I can’t sing them, hm? Do you really want to test me, Demon?”

[You narrow your eyes and he narrows his]

“...There were two lofty ships, from Old England came-!”

[SFX: The bed creaking as you roll off of him and sulk further]

“Hmph. That’s what I thought. Damn, those teeth are sharp! Have you even brushed them after our snack break? Or does personal hygiene not register to demons?”

[Pause!]

“What do you mean “alright, that’s it”?! HEY!”

[You stand and force your way over to the bathroom, even if it feels like walking against a hurricane]

[SFX: Lots of thumping, struggling, and Danny boy swearing and fighting followed by a bath being run]

“AGH, stop dragging me by my damned shadow, Demon! Run a bath if you wish, but don’t-! Don’t, um… A-Alright, you’ve disrobed, fantastic.”

[SFX: A soft splash]

“There, you’re in the tub, now can I please go back to bed? Trying not to… l-leer is difficult around your kind.”

[SFX: More swearing and then a splash from Danny boy]

“WARGARBALR?! Really, REALLY, now you’re dragging me around by my own shadow?! Oh, don’t give me that smug look, I know I’ve done the same to you all night, but the difference is that I’m a man of the church and you’re a vile spawn of SATAN!”

[SFX: More struggling and splashing]

“STOP TRYING TO DROWN ME, YOU SAUCY LITTLE-!”

[SFX: Some stern knocks]

[Both of you freeze as someone knocks on the room door]

“U-Uh, ahem, apologies! My… ugh, partner and I just got a bit too playful in the tub, all is well!”

[SFX: Footsteps fading away]

[You shoot each other a glare and you take your time pampering yourself as best you can with hotel soap]

“Hmph. You really do think you’re just the hottest little minx on the planet, don’t you?”

[Pause]

“Pfft, know so, do you? I’ve seen better. OW! Rrgh… of course the point on your tail is sharp, fuck’s sake. Look, can we just TRY and be civil?”

[Pause]

“No? Why the Hell not?!”

[Pause!]

“Yes, I’m trying to kill you, but you’re trying to kill me, too!”

[Pause!]

“If we want a chance to be parted, then we have to go to the Vatican, Demon, or somewhere close to it. Knowing you, you’ll make some kind of escape at the last second, so why worry, hm?”

[Pause]

“Yes, yes, you can eat my posterior as well. And stop splashing me!”

[You splash him anyway. Right in his dumb, handsome face]

[To be continued]