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All use is encouraged. You can edit. You can paywall. You can monetize. You can dress up in a suit and throw this script a ball. Go nuts! Credit SplashiestPig.

Key:

( ) = Verbal Sound Effect

[ ] = Added Sound Effect

* * = Silent Insert

{ } = Line Delivery

~ ~ = Emphasis

Sew It Seams

[Entry Bell Chimes]

Is this place open yet?

*listener states*

Hello again, old friend. Is business well?

*listener responds*

Good. I need some work done.

*listener asks*

I need my shirt patched at the very least. Then, another outfit wouldn’t be half bad. Preferably, something that uses some chain mail. Plate armor is fine and all, but you can’t swim in it. And Terror-Squids don’t come on land to fight.

*listener questions*

Yeah, Terror-Squids. Some port city dumped fairy dust in the sea and now the entire coast is flooded with them.

*listener asks*

I haven’t gotten to slay a dragon in some time. You know me. I go where the money is.

*listener offers*
Yep, here’s the shirt. It’s flame resistant. So if your patch was fireproof too, that’d be nice.

*listener takes*

How much do you think that’ll be?

*listener states*

I don’t want a discount. I can pay full price if you’re the one taking the coin.

[coins clink]

That enough?

*listener confirms*

Good. Now, what are we looking at for the tailored outfit?

*listener states*

Measurements first? Okay. Do I just, vault over the counter, or..?

*listener points*

Ah, that makes more sense.

*pause for movement*

Hey, do we have to do this here? I don’t like this room.

*listener questions*

It has too many mirrors. And you know I’ve made plenty of enemies in the Fractal Plane.

*listener states*

Yeah, covering them up would be enough.

*listener agrees*

Thanks.

*small pause*

So, measurements. Do I need to stand in some way special?

*listener states*

Hey! Don’t just move my arms around!

*listener assures*

(angry grunt)

Fine. But if you get handsy, I’ll be leaving a formal complaint with your manager.

*listener comments*
I know you’re your own boss! It was a thinly veiled euphemism that I would beat you if you got frisky!

*listener assures*

I swear, all that high society life, but you haven’t learned a thing. How are you going to let an orc have a better understanding of wordplay than you?

*small pause*

Yes, I’m standing up straight.

*listener confirms*

That’s everything? You only measured for a few seconds.

*listener assures*

If you say so.

*listener offers*

What am I looking for? I already told you. Something with chain mail.

*listener clarifies*

Listen. I came here because I don’t know the first thing about style. I’ve never cared. Just do whatever you think is best.

*listener questions*

I don’t know, okay? What do you want from me?

*listener presses*

I don’t want light colors. Does that help?

*listener questions*

Yeah, breathable is good.

*listener continues*

I don’t know what a low cut is.

*listener questions*

I guess I don’t want to show any more chest than I have to. This is armor after all.

*listener asks*

Accessories?! What, like jewelry?

*listener denies*

Well, if it has a practical use, put it in. Just make it work in the end.

*listener claims*

You know, I don’t remember you asking this many questions back in the day.

*listener agrees*

Finally! How long will it be before I can come back?

*listener states*

Seven hours? For a full outfit? With chain mail? Seems quick.

*listener confirms*

If you say so.

[Entry Bell Chimes]

*pause for time skip*

[Entry Bell Chimes]

Hello? It’s sundown-ish. I believe it’s been long enough.

*listener speaks*

Well, I don’t have a method of time telling on me. I…

*small pause*

Is that my outfit?

*listener confirms*

No, it’s not bad, it’s just… I didn’t expect it, is all.

*listener questions*

Yes, I knew you’d make something. I just… kind of assumed it would be more, flamboyant. But this is subtle. Well stated, but it wouldn’t draw the eye. Perfect for stealth, but good enough for a tavern. And it looks like it might actually fit me.

*listener asks*

I know you took measurements, but I still had my doubts. Most clothing I find is plenty big in the torso, but all too small in the sleeves. Usually, I have to inflict some tears just to put it on.

*small pause*

This feels very soft too. Will the chain mail be against my skin?

*listener disagrees*

Two layers of fabric? Wow, you really pulled out the stops here. I suppose I should have had more faith in you, old friend.

*listener states*

Try it on? Sure.

*pause for clothing*

This is really nice. It feels especially light. Good for fighting. It can get wet, right?

*listener confirms*

Well then, I think it’s perfect. How much?

*listener prices*

Absolutely. Here, let’s just round that up for your hard work.

[coin pouch clinks]

*small pause*

Say, if I remember correctly, your work is entirely confidential, right?

*listener speaks*

I… um… Well, you do some very good work. And I don’t trust any tailor more than you. So, I think you’re my best shot at a special request.

*small pause*

Have you ever made anything for a masquerade ball?

*listener questions*

Right. We went to Madame Slite’s together, didn’t we? Well… A queen has invited me to her summer villa, and I do wish to attend. But as nice as this new outfit is, I can’t wear it there. I would need something more, formal.

(clear throat)

I would need you to promise that you won’t tell anyone what I’m about to request of you.

*listener agrees*

I… I wish to attend the event in a gown. I know it’s not very in character for me, and that’s why I don’t want anyone to know. I was hoping you could make something elegant, distinguished, and most importantly, that would hide my face.

*listener questions*

Not a short dress, or anything with pants, or god forbid something sexy. I want a princess dress. Something huge and fluffy and… pretty.

*small pause*

I’m willing to pay extra to make sure this stays under wraps. No one can ever know that I like this kind of stuff. It’d ruin me.

*listener agrees*

Thanks. If you don’t need more measurements, then I’ll come back tomorrow night.

[entry bell chimes]

Oh, and… can it be pink?

*listener responds*

Thanks.

*pause for time skip*

[entry bell chimes]

{hushed}

Do you have the thing ready?

*listener claims*

I know I don’t have to whisper I just-!

*small pause*

I’m just nervous.

*small pause*

Can I see the dress?

*small pause*

Wow, uh… it’s very pink. That’s for sure. Should I… try it on?

*listener agrees*

Will you… lock the doors, first?

*listener confirms*
Thank you.

*pause for clothing*

Yeah, I’m okay in here.

*listener questions*

I’m not stalling! I… I just feel silly.

*listener responds*

I should just take this thing off. It’s not right.

*listener questions*

No, it’s not your fault. I just… I’m a fighter. I’m tough. I don’t wear dresses. I… ~shouldn’t~ wear dresses.

*listener speaks*

Yeah, I like it a lot. It looks exactly how I imagined it would. But it’s not right. I can’t wear this.

*listener offers*

I… I don’t think you can fix this. I don’t deserve this dress. Someone else should wear it.

*listener proposes*

I’m glad you agree. I’ll just take this off and…

*listener disagrees*

What do you mean? I said someone else should wear this and you agreed.

*listener slides*

Oh, the mask. I get it. You’re saying I can pretend to be someone else. Pretend to be someone who wears dresses. One small problem, I know it’s still me. Even if I fool everyone else, I’ll know I don’t deserve this.

*listener assures*

I don’t! I’m not a girly person. I gave that up when I picked up a sword. I made my choice.

*listener offers*

Yes. I’ve spent plenty of nights imagining what could have been. But fantasies are for children and pixies. I live in reality. And the reality is, I’m the muscle. And nothing more.

*listener speaks*

Don’t do that. Don’t use my words against me. You can’t talk me into this. This isn’t an option.

*listener states*

If I put on the mask, and show you the dress, will you drop it? Will you pack this thing away and never speak of it again?

*listener agrees*

Very well.

[door opens]

*small pause*

(sigh)

The mask fits great. Hides my tusks well.

*listener speaks*

No. I don’t look beautiful. I look like a pig in a dress. I can’t pull this off.

*listener begins*

Stop it. I don’t want to hear any rousing speech or clever remark. This dress was a mistake. It’s as simple as that.

*listener questions*
Why? You should know, why. I’m an adventurer. I slay monsters. People are scared of me. If people knew I liked a dress like this. They’d never look at me the same.

*listener lists*

Yes, it feels amazing. Not just the fabric either. This dress feels right. It feels like me. But I can’t wear it. Not in front of everyone.

*listener states*

The mask isn’t enough! I’d still be myself! And myself doesn’t deserve a dress like this.

*listener asks*

Who deserves a dress? I don’t know. My sister could probably pull this off. My mom maybe. Hell, my brother might be able to wear this. But not me.

*listener questions*

I’ll tell you what they have that I don’t! Everything! Their hands aren’t calloused! Their skin isn’t scarred! They don’t spit. Or curse. Or bath in the blood of their enemies! I’m nothing like them.

*small pause*

{saddened}

I’ll never be like them.

*listener offers*

No. Not even for one night. You could cover my face. You could give me gloves. You could seal my mouth. But that won’t fix the problem. That won’t fix me.

*listener questions*
I’m not saying I’m broken, I just… wasn’t made for this. It’s not in the cards.

*listener assures*

Don’t do that. We’ve been friends for years. I don’t want you to lie to my face. I don’t look good. I look like me. I look like you took a monster and draped it in a curtain. It doesn’t matter how silky smooth this cover is, the core is rotten.

*small pause*

Please. Let me take this off. Put it in a box, and leave it on a shelf. Forget about it. It was never meant to be.

*listener assures*

I don’t believe you. I can’t believe you. This isn’t good. As much as I want it to be.

*listener speaks*
No, I’m not wearing this dress. And I’m not discussing it with you. As my tailor, you have to respect that.

*listener states*

(groan)

I really wish you hadn’t played the friend card.

*listener questions*

(sigh)

Would you come with me?

*listener asks*

If I wore the dress. If I played into this persona. Would you come with me? As my plus one?

*listener questions*

You’re my oldest friend. Most people I meet die pretty quickly. And you make some good points. So if you come with me, in an outfit so explosive that no one will even have time to look at me, then maybe, I’ll consider going.

*listener agrees*

Fine. I’ll take the dress off. I want it boxed and hidden. The ball is on the next full moon. If I decide to go, then I’ll be here two nights before. But you can’t tell anyone about this.

*listener swears*
I mean it. If you tell a soul, I’ll kill you and burn the evidence. Friendship be damned.

*listener agrees*

Great. I’ll get this dress off, and I trust you can find a place for it?

*listener confirms*

Good.

*small pause*

Thank you, for the dress. Even if I don’t wear it.